Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Oooooo she's very pretty - fuck off

416 replies

Putthenerfdown · 12/05/2014 11:19

NC for this and in no way a stealth boast.

AIBU to be sick of hearing this about myself.

Met DPs family for the first time. We went for dinner and I was polite, we had an interesting discussion about the elections, I talked to his mum about books, we had a good time. I sent a nice text the next day thanking them for paying for the meal.

DP spoke to them today. I asked him if they had a good time "yes they enjoyed it, they said how pretty you are". Um ok...anything else "no just that your pretty oh and my DM thinks your very slim"

Which is lovely. Unless your bored of bring pretty or having a nice figure. And yes I TOTALLY know how this reads (like I'm a conceited bitch). But I've heard this for years and just once it would be nice to be funny or clever or kind or interesting and not yes she's got good genes.

AIBU and should shut up or not? DP doesn't see the problem "but you are pretty" was his reply.

OP posts:
everlong · 12/05/2014 13:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fenton · 12/05/2014 13:42

Ha ha everlong ! Grin

Feminine · 12/05/2014 13:42

down but can't you see how silly it is to concern yourself?

If your wit/personality/charm/intellect are intact, you will soon be complimented on that.

Are you really expressing that you'd prefer to be ugly?

really

You are being trivial, as in the grand scheme of things you are very blessed

Waltonswatcher1 · 12/05/2014 13:45

We'd all be happy to be pretty , but it isn't all roses and this thread proves it .
I am actually attractive , I am confident and I am liked and loathed in equal measure . Not for my looks, cos they aren't that good !
I can see the ops point - find one thing to say hat isn't about looks .

aquashiv · 12/05/2014 13:45

YADNBU but there are more important things to worry your pretty little head about non the less.

indigo18 · 12/05/2014 13:47

Maybe they found you rather dull and boring, but wanted to try and say something complimentary.
Get over yourself.

OnlyLovers · 12/05/2014 13:48

when i read your post op the first thought that came into my head was you sound pretty on the outside ugly on the inside, hope im wrong .

This is only one of many comments on here that I'm finding really nasty. Is no one else Shock by some of the responses?

ClockWatchingLady · 12/05/2014 13:51

OP, you should realise that by being nice to look at (and - Shock - not denying it!), you have forfeited not only the right to hope for less than 90% looks-related commentary in your life, but also express minor irritations online and expect other women not to be arseholes.

YANBU, by the way.

3 things come to mind:

  1. I think life is a constant battle, for most of us, to not take too seriously the things other people (and ourselves, actually) say/think. Just do your best to move onto something else.

  2. You'll be old soon, and then your problem will be solved Grin

BomChickaMeowMeow · 12/05/2014 13:51

It's a lot easier to see someone's appearance, and harder to get to know them as a person and what their other qualities are.

FourForksAche · 12/05/2014 13:51

only, yes there have been some horrible replies.

Notquitesureagain · 12/05/2014 13:53

OP - I kind of get where you're coming from. I'm by no means drop-dead gorgeous but have had a few work situations where colleagues have said things on the lines of 'x client will respond really well to an attractive woman', which I guess could be taken as a compliment but I always find a little bit depressing (i.e. you being good at your job isn't really enough). Same with my family actually, some female relatives always far more likely to comment on my 'still looking good' or 'being so slim' than whatever I've been doing career-wise. It all just reinforces the idea that nothing is more important than how we, as women, look, and makes us all a bit more looks-obsessed, which isn't good for anyone

ClockWatchingLady · 12/05/2014 13:53

Oops. I wish I had the kind of looks which would distract from the fact I can't count to 3, and miss out parts of infinitives (to express).

Fenton · 12/05/2014 13:56

Reading back, there have been some unnecessarily unkind posts here.

Sallystyle · 12/05/2014 14:04

There are some disgusting posts here, horrible.

She sounds ugly on the inside? that says way more about you big deal.

BorisJohnsonsHair · 12/05/2014 14:11

OP I know exactly what you mean. My best friend is a stunner, always has been. People are often mesmerised by how beautiful she is. Whereas I look like the back end of a bus am not. So she has always been the "pretty" one, and I've always been the "clever" one. In my teens I wanted to be her so badly, but now I'm so grateful that people see more in me, whereas she is still being judged on being just a pretty face.

Also, I think that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so maybe you seem even prettier because of your personality IYSWIM?

BorisJohnsonsHair · 12/05/2014 14:14

*runningon I never tire of hearing how pretty I am.

In fact, I'm often disappointed that people fail to notice* Grin Grin

GoblinLittleOwl · 12/05/2014 14:15

This is the first time you have met your possible in-laws and already you are finding fault with them. Possibly they were underwhelmed by your personality, intellect and political insight, and saying you were pretty was what they thought would please you. Wonder why?

Waltonswatcher1 · 12/05/2014 14:25

A huge FUCK OFF to all the posters who say it'll stop when you are older - and all the other ageist comments .
Why are women so determined to bitch about their own kind?
So older women aren't attractive then ?
Those who said that must be living pretty dull lazy arsed lives stuck indoors .
Ask a man what makes a woman attractive - the answer will surprise most of you .

JerseySpud · 12/05/2014 14:28

Have a Biscuit for a stealth boast

BomChickaMeowMeow · 12/05/2014 14:29

I agree Waltons.

slithytove · 12/05/2014 14:30

I do find it an odd single thing to say about someone.

DP: "Putdown, what did you think of my parents?"

Putdown: "I thought they were great, your dads really funny, and your mum and I were bonding over this obscure book were both read"

DP: "parents, what did you think of putdown?"

Parents: "she is very pretty"

putdown is it possible they said more about you but DP didn't relay that? I do appreciate that the parents incident is only one of several.

Feminine · 12/05/2014 14:31

yes, Walton. that is true.

I'm 43 soon and still get compliments! Wink They haven't stopped.

I'll bet that is considered old by some here.

TateLux · 12/05/2014 14:40

Feminine - 43 is nothing! I think a lot of posters are just saying enjoy it while it lasts. I think people are reading far too much into this.

SoleSource · 12/05/2014 14:43

I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and gay! And so pretty that i hardly can believe I'm reeeal.

Yes, OP you are not alone.

grocklebox · 12/05/2014 14:43

Oh the fucking irony of all the posters focusing on their own or the ops looks in a thread which, quite rightly, points out the problems of valuing women mainly on their looks.

Wish I could throw some copies of the female eunech or the feminine mystique into this thread might smack a bit if sense into some of you

Op, yanbu, obviously. How fucking depressing that the question even needs asking.