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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that pregnant women don't trump everybody else for a seat on the tube?

992 replies

dancersdad · 09/05/2014 19:34

I possibly need some perspective. DW and I were in London today, and unavoidably had to travel on the tube this evening in commuter rush hour. DW has a number of health issues that aren't physically visible, but definitely do impact upon her ability to stand on a crowded tube. When we got on at the start of our journey back the tube was packed with no free seats, so we both stood and I held onto DW as I was worried she was going to fall. The carriage was made up almost entirely of commuters. Two stops into our journey an elderly man got off leaving one of the priority seats free- the only free seat in the carriage. DW went to take the seat and was almost knocked onto the floor by a heavily pregnant woman who tried to slide into the seat alongside DW and beat her to it, as it was DW was already in the seat and the other woman stood up. She then told DW she was so sorry to ask her to move, but she was in a priority seat and as she was sure she knew, priority seats are reserved for those who really need them. DW told her that she had a reason for needing the priority seat too and refused to move when asked again. Cue a whole string of abuse about how no one has any manners nowadays, that she had asked DW to give up her seat for her because as a woman she would expect DW to understand that pregnancy can be hell, the least she could do would be to let her have the seat etc. I stepped in at this point and explained that DW really did need the seat, and loudly suggested to the rest of the carriage that I was sure someone else would be willing to give up a seat for her. Suddenly everyone else was deeply engrossed in their ipads, kindles etc, except for an elderly lady in the other priority seat who clearly needed it too, and offered her seat. The pregnant woman announced loudly that she couldn't possibly ask someone else who needed the seat to give it up, and it was a shame that some people (glaring at DW) had no respect for the priority system, which is in place to ensure those who really need a seat can get one. I pointed out again that DW had a genuine need for the seat too. Cue huffing, eye rolling, and lurching over DW whenever the train changed speed for the rest of her journey.

AIBU to think that although some pregnant women do need a seat on a tube, they shouldn't assume automatic priority over others also in need? There's no priority seat ranking system I don't know about? Confused

OP posts:
turgiday · 10/05/2014 20:41

beyondrepair - We all know what kind of ambulance you are referring to. Most patients who need to sit down on public transport, are not entitled to access that.

KatieKaye · 10/05/2014 20:41

It is from the OP, who describes " a whole string of abuse".
That's my source, beyond.
The only source we have.
Just like most threads here in fact.
Why shouldn't it be true? I mean, unless you subscribe to the view that all pregnant women are perfect, then why is it so hard to imagine that this woman let rip? Lots of people have said she could be tired and stressed etc and rush hour commute is never fun, so it sounds very plausible, especially coming from someone who is so intransigent and must have been very frustrated.

But if you don't believe she was abusive, why believe that she was even pregnant? Maybe OP made the whole thing up?

BeyondRepair · 10/05/2014 20:41

And why should our health service be inundated because people can't give a sodding seat up

No, I think people are thinking up more creative options for ops wife who apprenlty is so frail and cannot stand on the tube, to get to and from hospital.

I don't think anyone with brittle bones, of all things should be subjected to rush hour tube, if taxi cost is an issue I can has merely come up with another possible solution and maybe OP, should look into this should his wife need another H appt. They may turn him down...but they may not.

BrianTheMole · 10/05/2014 20:42

And where do we have this vital info from Katie? Who is your source?

Well in fairness, none of us were there, it may not have happened at all. But we take it that it did, and thus, can only assume that the ops version of things are correct, seeing as he was there and all that and you weren't

Morgause · 10/05/2014 20:42

Maybe the pregnant woman should have booked one.

ICanSeeTheSun · 10/05/2014 20:44

I would say the wife meets the criteria.

Brittle bones, recovering from an operation and other condition the OP mentioned earlier.

If this isn't a need for an ambulance then what is.

BeyondRepair · 10/05/2014 20:44

But ops view is skewed isn't it, he is already annoyed by the dreadful pregnant lady isn't he, not the others in the carriage, he hasn't berated them....

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 10/05/2014 20:45

I'm six months pregnant and during the tube strike I got a taxi home from work because after spending 12 hours on my feet I couldn't bear the thought of getting the tube with a million people trying to cram on to it. It's just exhausting.

BeyondRepair · 10/05/2014 20:45

Indeed Ican.

TequilaMockingbirdy · 10/05/2014 20:46

Beyond ah yes it's always other people who want to come up with more 'options' for disabled and sick people, rather than giving them an equal opportunity to travel on public transport.

Ridiculous world we live in.

BeyondRepair · 10/05/2014 20:48

Sorry Tequlia, your preaching at the wrong person here, with several family members with badges including DM, different things wrong...

I am talking about the ops wife specific circumstances....after an operation.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 10/05/2014 20:48

You want to fund an ambulance for the DW because no one else without a priority in the carriage would give up their seat to a pregnant woman?

squoosh · 10/05/2014 20:48

'Well in fairness, none of us were there, it may not have happened at all. But we take it that it did, and thus, can only assume that the ops version of things are correct, seeing as he was there and all that'

I always take what the OP (all OPs) say with a pinch of salt. I suspect things might not have been as dramatic as he states.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 10/05/2014 20:48

I would say the wife meets the criteria

I don't. Unless she can't walk or needs a wheelchair or is immobile then I'm afraid not.

I look after patients having surgery everyday, do they all need transport? Nope.

(I do work on a children's ward so I can only go from thi experience, not with adults).

Transport is bloody expensive and you can't just have it because you want it. And believe me a lot of people try and push why they need it. I don't think people realise it has to be authorised.

BeyondRepair · 10/05/2014 20:50

I suspect things might not have been as dramatic as he states

i agree he and he just wants to be stroked and told what a wicked wicked woman this pregnant lady was for daring to be upset at being beaten to a seat on rush hour tube in london.

BrianTheMole · 10/05/2014 20:50

Maybe the pregnant woman should have booked one.

Yes absolutely. Or reconsidered her travel options if she can't guarantee a seat. How nice that the woman being targeted is the one that bloody needed a seat, (and was already in it) rather than another 20 or so able bodied passengers with their bums on seats.
Shame on some of you.

ICanSeeTheSun · 10/05/2014 20:52

Perhaps more priority seating is needed.

A standard bus in the area I live in has 30 seats and 2 wheelchair/pushchair spaces.

Only 4 are priority seat, if 1/4 the bus was priority seating, while being allowed to be used if nobody was using them.

squoosh · 10/05/2014 20:54

Brian clearly both women needed the seat, and as far as I can see both of them are being targeted.

BeyondRepair · 10/05/2014 20:54

It was because it was a priority seat thats why she tried to get into that seat. they both went for the seat at the same time, you run for seats on the tube.

BeyondRepair · 10/05/2014 20:55

Brian clearly both women needed the seat, and as far as I can see both of them are being targeted

OF course they are.

sassysally · 10/05/2014 20:55

YABU To think that pregnant women don't trump

ICanSeeTheSun · 10/05/2014 20:55

I am not saying disabled people shouldn't use public transport. They have every right and those rights are protected by law. ( 100% agree with the law)

squoosh · 10/05/2014 20:56

Grin sassy.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 10/05/2014 20:57

This thread is fucking grim. If the pregnant lady is in such need of a bloody seat, she could also get a taxi.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 10/05/2014 20:59

I suspect things might not have been as dramatic as he states

Quite.

Tbh. The whole story reeks of exaggerations to me.
And an excuse to bitch about "entitled" pregnant women.