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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really fucked off?!

315 replies

JaackSparroww · 06/05/2014 11:27

NC because DP found out about mumsnet! just to be safe Grin

The guys came in to fix the phones at work today. I can have a laugh with them. I can talk to them.
But now, I won't.
The guy said "How are you today?"
I said: "I'm tired, me. DP was on the xbox all night"
he made a weird face. then he asked me, when are you learning to drive?
and I said, "when DP gets a job"
He replied with: "Bin him. get someone with money!"

NONONO. You DO NOT say that to someone. I LOVE my partner and I do not appreciate this at all. We live with our parents so not having a job is no problem at the minute, no DCs, no house of our own as of yet. DP is going in the forces. I don't give a flying fuck about money. Yes, I'd like to be spoiled, but just being with him, to me, is being spoiled. Being told to "bin" my DP because I can't afford to drive and he was on the xbox is completely disgusting to say to a person.
AIBU to be COMPLETELY SEETHING about this?!

OP posts:
Original poster
JaackSparroww · 06/05/2014 12:39

I put up with it because he makes me happy, me having no sleep has nothing to DO with him being on the xbox, i had a headache, and a cold (which i have said) I just said he was on the xbox, which is a normal thing, i have said that normally I can sleep if he's on the xbox.

OP posts:
redandchecker · 06/05/2014 12:40

Well OP you seem to be putting everything of yourself after him
driving
sleeping
having money

whereas he seems to be doing the opposite
we're only concerned that you seem to be unaware...

TalisaMaegyr · 06/05/2014 12:40

Whatever OP. Good luck! Thanks

TheFairyCaravan · 06/05/2014 12:41

If he is going in the Army in 3 months time, plays on his X box all night and sleeps all day when does he do his fitness?

everlong · 06/05/2014 12:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

redandchecker · 06/05/2014 12:42

So if you weren't tired because he was on the xbox why did you say that to the engineer and then get offended at his response

baffled

Original poster
JaackSparroww · 06/05/2014 12:42

i am aware. did no one see "But posting on here then reading it back makes me realise how utterly idiotic I sound"
im not trying to be rude, btw.

OP posts:
UnderIce · 06/05/2014 12:42

The OP presents at about age 15. I think she's making it up as she goes along.

RiverTam · 06/05/2014 12:42

from your OP:

The guy said "How are you today?"
I said: "I'm tired, me. DP was on the xbox all night"

now, possibly I'm right there with all the other thickos on this thread, but that, to me, and to the phone man it sounds like, says that it was your DP keeping you up playing Xbox.

Don't chop and change your story just because you're not getting the response you like.

TalisaMaegyr · 06/05/2014 12:43

So does he have a start date? A few people have asked now, but you haven't answered Smile

CorusKate · 06/05/2014 12:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RollerCola · 06/05/2014 12:44

Did you try saying to him 'can you turn the Xbox off because I can't sleep and I've got to get up early in the morning'

If not, how come? If you did, why didn't he turn it off?

I get that you love him/money's not an issue etc. but it's easy to fall into the trap of doing everything his way because you don't want to upset him.

Remember you are your own person and your opinion counts. Don't put up with things just because you don't want to speak your own mind. You could be setting yourself up for any number of problems in the future.

He seems too immature to realise or notice that his actions are causing problems for you, and you seem unwilling to tell him. Tell him, he won't bite. And if he does then perhaps the BT man is right.

LineRunner · 06/05/2014 12:44

OP, when is your boyfriend's official start date?

IsItMeOr · 06/05/2014 12:46

You have come onto a website for grown ups. You seem to be surprised/offended that we look at issues like, well, grown ups.

We do understand very well that your DP is behaving like somebody with no responsibilities - because at the moment that is how it is for him.

We do understand that you are behaving a bit immaturely - because you are quite young and inexperienced in the world of work.

Not sure what you want - apart from sympathy. Sorry you're not feeling well.

If it happens again, you have options:

  1. ask DP to turn it off and go to bed
  2. recognise that you don't feel well, need to sleep and go home to your own bed
  3. don't spend your money on going out with DP when it runs out on 10th of the month. That's actually quite a big clue that you can't afford to do what you have been doing. etc, etc, etc

I have no doubt that your parents could add more to the list, but you probably wouldn't hear them/think they don't understand.

LineRunner · 06/05/2014 12:46

Oh, and I think you should learn to drive if you have a little money in the bank. It obviously bothers you enough to have mentioned it to the phone man.

PrincessBabyCat · 06/05/2014 12:47

I'm tired, me. DP was on the xbox all night
me having no sleep has nothing to DO with him being on the xbox

So which is it?

Learn some money management. Stop complaining about your boyfriend if you don't want people to form a low opinion of him. Go get some sleep.

Cerisier · 06/05/2014 12:49

My DD is the same age as you OP, and has a boyfriend. I can't imagine her calling him her DP for many years even though they've been together 2 years now.

That aside how about DP only stays over when you haven't got work the next day?

fromparistoberlin73 · 06/05/2014 12:49

I was going to post YABU, then I read 116 people that had said so and had a glancing second of pity for the OP.....

OP, is the phone man fit? hope so !

Nicknacky · 06/05/2014 12:49

I think we should stop referring to him as "dp". He is a 19 year olds boyfriend, with no kids, don't live together. Not my idea of a partner, just a boyfriend.

LuxLondon · 06/05/2014 12:50

I think people should give her a break! Come on she did say she's read back at the thread and felt idiotic.

OP he was just an old man making small talk. Don't take things so seriously.

Also when and if you stay at your partners house tell him that you'd appreciate it if they were his nights when he gives the x box a miss.
Anyway shouldn't you be at it like rabbits at your age? Grin

gamerchick · 06/05/2014 12:50

OP this is going to sound really patronising and I apologise.

You're 19.. We were 19 once and know what it's like to be young.. still have the gift of eternal knowledge and love conquers all and whatnot but eventually you'll see life the same way as most of us and will say exactly the same things to any 19 yr old who says what you have said about your dude.

It's all a learning thing.. just enjoy your life and don't let any man take the mick out of you despite how loved up you are.

And it's probably better to go home on a night when you have work the next day. Good luck.

VitoCorleone · 06/05/2014 13:06

You cant speak to the phone guy now because he made a joke?

Crikey, i thought i was the pettiest poster on here today Confused

fromparistoberlin73 · 06/05/2014 13:08

this thread lands like MN bullying right now

bUt if you all want to wade in, one after the other, and and be mean to a teenager, GO FOR IT!!!

Nicknacky · 06/05/2014 13:11

Fgs, bullying? Because someone posts in aibu and people say "yes". The poster is an adult and is not being "bullied"!

TheFairyCaravan · 06/05/2014 13:13

There is absolutely no bullying whatsoever on this thread!