To be really fucked off?!

[JaackSparroww]

NC because DP found out about mumsnet! just to be safe

The guys came in to fix the phones at work today. I can have a laugh with them. I can talk to them.
But now, I won't.
The guy said "How are you today?"
I said: "I'm tired, me. DP was on the xbox all night"
he made a weird face. then he asked me, when are you learning to drive?
and I said, "when DP gets a job"
He replied with: "Bin him. get someone with money!"

NONONO. You DO NOT say that to someone. I LOVE my partner and I do not appreciate this at all. We live with our parents so not having a job is no problem at the minute, no DCs, no house of our own as of yet. DP is going in the forces. I don't give a flying fuck about money. Yes, I'd like to be spoiled, but just being with him, to me, is being spoiled. Being told to "bin" my DP because I can't afford to drive and he was on the xbox is completely disgusting to say to a person.
AIBU to be COMPLETELY SEETHING about this?!

"Bullying"? Grow up, eh?

Sorry but I think you are overreacting.
I also think that what they said has hit a nerve....
(I would bin a man child who spends all night playing x box btw so I am with the phone guys)

There is no bullying on this thread. But there quite a lot of genuine concern that a young woman is being taken for a mug.

This is truth, not bullying.

I hate the word boyfriend. girlfriend is fine but I introduce him as my partner. Or my other half. I think we've been together long enough for that.
whatever.

What is his provisional start date for Phase 1 training, Jaack? At least you'll get some sleep then!

You'd probably be better off on a website aimed at people at a similar life stage to you. Most of us here are a long way past living with parents/it being normal to be sleeping next to someone playing x box all night. Lots of people put up with this sort of stuff at your age, when the stakes tend to be lower. But most people here are parents and a partner who stays up all night playing x box while waiting until he's been on holiday to apply for the army is not a good partner at the parenting stage of life.

I think he was probably looking at you and seeing how much of your life you still have left, and telling you that you could do better. Quite fatherly.

here are some of the phrases directed at OP , I stopped at page 4.

You sound really immature.
You sound unhinged
Agree with pp you sound very immature
seriously need to get a grip...and a life....and a sense of humour.
Are you sure Mumsnet is the best place for you ?
Why do you keep "laughing" after every sentence? What is the joke?

so excuse me for using the term "bullying", but for me reading one poster after another wade in to someone who is clearly younger and at a different stage....

are the above phrases just "wisdom" and "straight advice then"??

There is no date for army starting - OP has been asked about 10x on this thread and apart from a vague, after we've been on holiday, there's no real answer. And whatever OP might argue, the waste of space is a boyfriend and not a partner.
Having said that, we've all been there, haven't we? (Well, I'm not sure I was ever quite so naive but most people have been there).

Paris, you're right. guess really isnt the place for me, i guess I joined up mainly because of the aibu and wwyd and educations threads where I could give some insight, i do like helping people out.
i do need to get a grip, its just me having a bad day, i do need to take things with a pinch of salt, which i realised anyway, about 2 minutes after i posted it when I thought, "wow, i look like a complete idiot" and i do forget that sometimes and don't really think about what im saying. I just didn't like it, thats all. Guess there's nothing wrong with that, but I was being unreasonable.
But now I've had those phrases directed at me, i've thought about it. I did know straight away after I'd posted it it was stupid.
thanks.

Here here, fromparis. I've just read this thread open-mouthed.

Is there now some sort of age and situation qualification to join MN?

It's not over bullying (and I agree the OP was BU in her original question) but I'm sorry, it smacks of playground cliquey-ness. Not bullying, but not friendly or welcoming. It's an online forum with no membership requirements, the OP doesn't need to find a different website if she doesn't want to.

I agree turningviolet, I doubt he has even applied. If he does apply when he gets back it could be a year, or more, before he actually gets a date, providing he passes interview and selection.

You're massively overreacting. This chap's assumptions were entirely of your making.

I'm tired. DP was on the x-box all night = reasonable assumption that the two comments are linked, not complete non-sequiturs.

When DP gets a job = reasonable assumption that someone who keeps his partner awake all night playing on an x-box while she has to go to work and he doesn't is a bit of a waste of space

He probably thought you wanted to rant about him. And 'bin him' was probably just the 60 year-old man version of MN's 'LTB' advice.

If you don't want people to make negative assumptions about the man you love, don't say things to relative strangers that sound like 'I'm tired because my unemployed boyfriend plays video games while I'm trying to sleep before going out and earning the money so he can sit on his backside'

A lot of people don't live with their partners, or have children. I wasn't aware that if you don't have children, you can't be on the site. I like reading the threads.

I have been there OP (on MN I mean). But I think people tend to type first and not think that their words might hurt a human being, and make someone feel like shit

and then its excused as "wisdom" and "telling it as its is".

anyway, my advice is to hide thread and if anything was said here that is useful, well great !!!

Op,I know you've said YABU,kudos for that, I'm glad you've got things into perspective.

Can you just clarify though, when you say 'until dp gets a job' are you talking about the army?

WHEN does he actually join up?

i'll do that paris, quite new here, didn't know you could hide the thread

No,I don't know who said that, but there's loads of people on here with no kids, you are very welcome here jaack

Of course you can be on the site OP, plenty of people on MN don't have any children

Libertine, we're off on holiday in the next couple of months, after that he's ringing them up and following up his application (which was put on hold, he broke his leg so he's been waiting)
in the meantime he's actively looking for work.

I didn't mean that if you don't have children you shouldn't be here. I was on here for ages before I had a child, as I had problems conceiving. I meant that you are not at a similar life stage to most of the posters here, so posting about this topic is unlikely to find you readers who sympathise with your position. To the majority of people your partner will sound lazy and selfish and your defensive reaction to an older man pointing it out inexplicable.

Thats what I thought! being "too young" for a site when you're an adult isn't something you usually hear of

Yet again, you've avoided the question of when he is going in the Army! He doesn't have a date does he?

soloman, I understand that now