I know I'm being petty, but AIBU also to not do this person a favour?

[SumBex]

This concerns a woman whom I met through baby groups several years ago along with several other women. We had a bit of a run in at one point where she basically screamed in my DD's face after she pushed her DS over. I've never really forgiven her for this but remained civil for the sake of the wider friendship circle.

Fast forward a couple of years and our DC are in the same class at school. The friendship circle splintered a little while ago and I found out through a mutual acquaintance that she has said some things about me that aren't true to another ex-friend from the same group. All sounds pretty childish right?

Anyway, she's asked me for the details of a children's entertainer I used for DD'sbirthday party last year, but truthfully, I don't want to do her any favours. Plus we might use him again as DD has asked for the same party.

Now don't get me wrong, I know this is super petty but AIBU to not give her the details? I just don't feel like doing her any favours given our history. If IANBU how do I politely say no to her request?

[SumBex]

I've already referred some business to him so my conscience in clear on that front.

She usually has lovely parties for her DC so I'm sure she will manage without the details for this particular one .

[ClubName]

But you wouldn't be doing her a favour really would you? You'd be doing the entertainer a favour.

[Sister77]

But I'd say I lost it and couldn't remember

[PortofinoRevisited]

You could write one number wrong though....

[CoffeeTea103]

Sorry but whatever you say about her, you sound even worse by actually having such a mean, selfish thought. It's for her DS!

[slartybartfast]

a 7 and a 1 can be mixed up, or an 8 and a 6 or a 0 even

[WorraLiberty]

Hopefully she'll get it from someone else then and her DS can enjoy his day.

There's two sides to every story and we've only heard yours of course, but you've come across as extremely petty here.

[WorraLiberty]

But you wouldn't be doing her a favour really would you? You'd be doing the entertainer a favour.

She would be doing the child a favour but some adults can't seem to see past their own petty squabbles.

[SumBex]

I removed her from my Facebook a while ago.

Hmm, I don't really feel like bing the better person on this occasion. I didn't make a huge deal out of the screaming as much as she deserved so I feel like she has exhausted my good will, particularly in light of the fact that she lied about me and made me sound like a dick.

My DD was 2 at the time of this incident and I'd just given birth to DD2 just a week before. It was absolutely awful for me at the time and I stopped going to baby groups for a while after which made me very isolated.

[LaurieFairyCake]

I wouldn't even respond to the text. Just pretend you didn't get it.

[PortofinoRevisited]

Well just tell her to fuck off and be done with it then. These threads make me cross. Why ask for advice?

[CoffeeTea103]

Funny that you say she made you sound like a dick, because you've managed to do that yourself here.
Very petty

[SumBex]

I see your point Worra, but her DC isn't going to suffer any if I don't give her the number. She will find someone else or even the same guy if she researches it herself. I doubt anyone ends will give her the number either - she doesn't know who I passed it on to firstly, but secondly, they can't stand her either.

[PortofinoRevisited]

Well it doesn't matter then. Ignore and move on.

[BuzzardBird]

You see I wouldn't pussy foot around. I would reply with "in the light of the fact that you told lies about me and made me look a dick, you can go swivel, must catch up soon :)"

[WorraLiberty]

So what?

That still makes you and adult that's far too petty to give a child a phone number.

Because it is for the child...

[MrsCakesPremonition]

Keep fanning the flames and you'll be able to nurture a lifetime's grudge against this woman. With any luck you'll be able to have fisticuffs in the playground before your DCs leave primary. Good job.

[SumBex]

I don't know if I'd be rude enough to say fuck off porto, but I take your point. I just wondered what the general consensus was to this issue. Pretty mixed so far.

I don't mind so much you all thinking me a dick over one thread, I did mind when she was making me look like a dick to people I know in RL and have to maintain relationships with, particularly for our DC's benefit.

[LadySybilLikesCake]

Is the entire class going and has your child been invited? This would swing it for me.

[LineRunner]

Give her the number of a clown.

[SumBex]

Not at all MrsCakes, we're very polite to one another at school and I wouldn't openly make this an issue, probably just ignore her or say I'd lost the number as others have advised. There won't be any fisticuffs over a children's entertainer . The grudge will probably last though - I do struggle with that quite a bit.

[TheDoctrineOfSnatch]

Is there anyone who knows it who still likes her?

"Sorry, can't remember where I put it, but I gave it to Gertrude, maybe she still has it?"

[SumBex]

She always throws whole class parties but I know we won't be able to go this time because I've got an awful lot on the month of her DC's party with weddings and a business trip. We're away every weekend that month.

[MrsCakesPremonition]

I think it sounds like you want to escalate the ill-feeling. You are planning to treat her in a less favourable way than you would any other passing playground acquaintance. So you are stepping things up from "distant but civil" to "civil but passive aggressive".

[LadySybilLikesCake]

I'd give it to her as she's made an effort to include your child. You don't really need to lower yourself to her level.