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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if anyone else self sabotages with constant procrastination when it comes to studying?

233 replies

NickiFury · 03/05/2014 16:04

I've two essays due in by next Thursday. They are finals, so important and yet I have just twatted around for weeks, they'll get a passing mark, they always do but probably not nearly as good as it could have been. I've exams next month, again I will pass most likely but not nearly as well as I could have done.

I love the subject and achieving a degree means a huge amount to me (no encouragement or possibility as a child or teenager), I will always regret this if I screw it up, it's my last chance really, got transitional fees with the OU. I won't be as educated as I could be even if I pass simply because I couldn't be arsed.

So WHY? WHY? Do I do this? I have two autistic children, home educating one of them and am a single parent, it's hard, once they've gone to bed, I'm so knackered I just want to veg in front of the TV, but with self discipline I could easily find the time. Is anyone else like this? and if anyone could explain the psychology behind it that might help.

OP posts:
whydoibothersometimes · 03/05/2014 16:07

Busy right now but will reply to this later. There is a theory behind this behaviour.

RueDeWakening · 03/05/2014 16:22

Yanbu, DH does this too, also on transitional fees with the OU. Latest is that he ballsed up a tma last week which means he can no longer get the overall grade he wants, because he decided arsing around with some friends for the evening was more important than actually finishing the damn thing. Drives me to distraction Confused

Aspiringhuman · 03/05/2014 16:24

Been there, even housework seems inviting.

wowfudge · 03/05/2014 16:25

I am the same OP - I am working and have to study evenings and weekends. There are days when I plan to study at lunchtime, but the job is so busy I need a break. Today I have been awake since 6am. At 10.15 when OH left the house I was going to do cleaning and go food shopping. Then spend the rest of the afternoon/evening studying.

Have I feck done that! I spent hours pissing about half watching the Food channel and surfing the web. I have just done the mother of all house cleans which has included lots of things I do every couple of months as well as the regular stuff. Am now drinking coffee and MN'g. Will them go shopping Hmm.

I'd be really interested to here from whydoibother on the theory.

wowfudge · 03/05/2014 16:25

Hear obviously!

MissDuke · 03/05/2014 16:27

I have been at my sister's all afternoon writing an essay, I just cannot concentrate at home with all of the distractions. Good luck op, you can do this!!

Raia · 03/05/2014 16:29

I used to do this when I was studying with the OU (graduated a few years ago). I reckon the psychology behind it is something to do with avoiding the horrible possibility of failure when you've given it (a TMA, the whole degree, whatever) everything you've got. If you don't put everything into it, then you have a ready-made reason for not having achieved what you'd really like to have achieved, iyswim. (Can't believe I got a degree at all going by the coherence of this message Grin)

But saying that, it sounds like you have an incredibly busy life and a lot on your plate so I take my hat off to you for finding the time to do any studying at all!

TheIncredibleBookEatingManchot · 03/05/2014 16:30

I'm procrastinating right now! I'm pretending I'm working on it because I've got the documents open on the computer but I'm not even looking at them.

Alisvolatpropiis · 03/05/2014 16:32

I do it

Raia · 03/05/2014 16:34

I can't think of a single person I knew/know who didn't do it tbh. Often the people who get the best marks too. Is it something to do with perfectionism?

DefiniteMaybe · 03/05/2014 16:35

I do this, my last TMA for this module is due on Weds but I've got well over the score needed to pass the ocas part so I can't even be bothered to start it. I've not started revising, am about 2 weeks behind and I just don't want to do it now.

NigellasDealer · 03/05/2014 16:42

I did that with my MA and didnt complete it - I think it was some kind of weird psychological setting myself up to fail tbh.

MileEndRoad · 03/05/2014 16:43

I have an important deadline that requires me to work right now. But I can't concentrate until whydoibother comes back to explain. It is all her fault.

deakymom · 03/05/2014 17:13

procrastinating as we speak i need to sign up for a course but i dont think im good enough Sad

OddBoots · 03/05/2014 17:21

I'm doing this right now, an essay due in on Tuesday and I've spent all day doing a little then getting distracted - on and off all day.

Appletini · 03/05/2014 17:24

This is a good read: thoughtcatalog.com/david-cain/2013/02/procrastination-is-not-laziness/

wowfudge · 03/05/2014 17:36

Thanks Appletini - that gave me another excuse not to just crack on with things. And yes, I'm still here after my coffee. Need to go shopping so that doesn't spill over to tomorrow.

FreudiansSlipper · 03/05/2014 17:49

I find going to the library and studying really helps

I have wasted many hours trying to delve deep into my unconsciousness to uncover why I do this while on mn, watching many box sets, reading magazines

I accepted I do and allow myself to mess about

why I do this I try to work out when I am not needing to study it is another avoidance tactic

I also find essay writing very very very boring :) I think that is the basis of it really but love the subject and can talk about it for hours so its no wonder that I find putting dvd's in order or whatever job I have not bothered with for months more interesting than writing my essay

Appletini · 03/05/2014 17:52

Also, as a chronic procrastinator, I find the secret is to think of something I want to do even less than the thing I'm putting off. It's amazing how much work I get done while procrastinating from cleaning the bathroom.

zombiesheep · 03/05/2014 17:55

I do it too, I have an assignment due this Thursday which I haven't started and then exams the week after which I haven't revised for

blueeyedpea · 03/05/2014 17:55

this is what I'm doing right now, should be writing an essay today and I just want to read Mumsnet and play Candycrush, also I have cleaned the loo today and emptied the bins!

I know I am doing it and will end up working in the early hours instead.

canweseethebunnies · 03/05/2014 17:59

Oh god! Was this thread put here to make me feel awful? I am doing this right now. I have to hand in 5000 words on Tuesday and have barely started. Was supposed to be working on it all day today, but I've done NOTHING!

Mind you, it sounds like you've got a lot on your plate and need some veg time? My excuses aren't half as valid. I have one NT dd aged 5 and in full time education, plus she's away this weekend with her dad. I've had weeks and weeks and plenty of time to have written the bloody thing twice over by now. Why am I still procrastinating?

I am also sixteen weeks pregnant, and just coming out the other side of extreme early pregnancy exhaustion, but it's still no excuse for his lazy I've been with this assignment.

NickiFury · 03/05/2014 18:15

I must say its most comforting to find a load of other procrastinators lazy arses Wink out there. I am going to crack on with it tonight, dreading it I have to say as I am not particularly confident with the material. I will, as usual, be shown the way by the more with it other students on my course when I check out the TMA forum.

OP posts:
crazykat · 03/05/2014 18:15

I'm the same. I've got a deadline next Wednesday and have my tma essay to do (have done all the little questions).

I only get about 2 hours weekday mornings when dd2 is at nursery and ds2 is asleep to get course work done generally. I get the occasional weekend when we haven't got anything on. Yet I still faff about getting things ready to study and get into the work. Once I start it I generally get done what I intended but its starting that's the problem.

At the moment I'm a week behind with reading too due to the Easter hols and DH working the last couple of weekends so the only time I've had to study without one of the DCs pestering/wanting/crying/fighting is after 8pm when I'm too tired.

I'm just holding onto the thought that it will (hopefully) be worth all the stress when I graduate and can get a better job than I can right now.

DrainPhobic · 03/05/2014 18:18

Yes, me too. Place marking to read later and hopefully find the miracle cure!