To have said no?

[Tiggywinklespinny]

We have just had dinner, chicken veggies and baby new potatoes.

Dsd (10) can barely use a knife and was asked to cut her chicken not eat it off the fork in a great lump. Instead she said she didn't want it and left it. Too full she said.

She's now on meltdown because I've said no to ice-cream. AIBU??

Eek, sounds like you will have your hands full! Hopefully her DM will back you up though.

ican - she's 19 now and did the slamming doors thing once. Suffice to say she did not do it again.
Hope that satisfies your curiosity.

What if she is left-handed? Left-handers have to learn to the the fork with the dominant and the knife with the other hand; right-handers have to learn the opposite.

But using cutlery "the wrong way round" (don't quite now how else to put it!) is not the same as refusing to use a knife, Andrew, which is what this child is doing. And at 10 she's had several years to master using cutlery in the most efficient manner for her particular needs, whether she is left or right-handed.

Wow, nice way to label children.

STOP SLAMMING THE FUCKING DOORS!! Ahhh feels better :) she'll be ok tomorrow, I'll be in the doghouse because I'm not mum or dad but I can handle that!

Ex BIL was 15 and hes dm cut hes pizza up in a restaurant because hes a lazy turd and could never be bothered to learn, I just thought omg this boy is only 3 years off of buying a pint and mummy is cutting hes dinner up.

Haha, I do like the idea of taking the doors off the hinges... but have you ever tried rehanging those bastard things?

Was also wondering if she's left-handed. I am and I found it hard to master using a knife, for many many years. (However I did not behave like a brat, but we all react differently to things.)

Tbh as she is, I presume, a visiting child - as in once a week/fortnight rather than there every day. I would cut her some slack
I don't want to play my tiny violin
But
It's dreadful being a child with parents on either side who you feel doesn't want you and then you go to dad who you miss and you want a bit of attention but feel criticised
St probably didn't, but she is 10 and I honestly would ignore it and would have given her the Vince cream. You might all think I am a big softy but I think attention seeking st the dinner table is the easiest way for someone who needs attention yo get it, instead the outcome is that she isn't actually getting any reassurance

She's lazy? She can't use a knife? Then fucking show her how. Take the lead.

'She's been shown many times'. Said the OP.

RTFT.

Owllady..shared care 3 nights 4 days every week.

This isn't a 'stepchild' thread, if she were my dd I would be writing the same. So please don't give me the I'm a crap step parent bollocks because I'm not.

Good lord she sounds a nightmare and Yanbu.

Yanbu

Fair enough but don't underestimate how the changing in partners and homes effects her
She is ten, she is a baby
And it's Friday and all children this age are difficult and tired
At least it's a bank holiday

I have a very slack approach to food
Personally, I consider pudding to be part of the meal. I've never insisted anyone finish their food before having dessert. I know that's a very unpopular method but my dcs are very small and they eat well (not just ice cream )
But this wasn't about finishing her food.
I think it sounds as though she was pissed off at being pulled up on her table manners.
I know tantrums are unacceptabl, but I'd be tempted to put some considerable effort into phrasing requests in a way that sound especially kind and gentle. It sounds as though she's having a tough time, plus puberty is either on it's way or in full swing and a suble change to the adults' responses in chicken gate might have helped avoid a meltdown.
Might.

I assume she can actually use a knife and the statement "can barely use a knife" was a loaded comment on her table manners.

No everlong its far more reasonable to call her horrible names and froth over her punishment like your getting some sort of kick out of it

She's knackered, every time she goes to bed she's up every 5 mins, hungry, thirsty, toe hurts, finger is sore..the list goes on. I'm hoping she gets a good nights sleep and tomorrow we can have a good day! I doubt she's behaving like this because she's a 'step child' I'm pretty sure most kids do this at some point

I agree with owllady

Did you give her a warning or just say "right, no ice cream"? If you gave her the option to eat properly and have ice cream then I think you were fair enough.

She sounds desperate for attention love and kindness to me.

Everlong are you able to read? At no point did in my op did I say she was lazy or a brat. I did agree later on with a post that she was behaving like one. Take your judgmental self and give yourself a badge for being such a perfect parent.