To have said no?

[Tiggywinklespinny]

We have just had dinner, chicken veggies and baby new potatoes.

Dsd (10) can barely use a knife and was asked to cut her chicken not eat it off the fork in a great lump. Instead she said she didn't want it and left it. Too full she said.

She's now on meltdown because I've said no to ice-cream. AIBU??

Love and discipline don't always go together at all - not saying it doesn't in this case.

helpful discipline, not tyrannical discipline.

This op was worried she had gone too far, not the other way round.

"And yes the OP has said she loves the SD but from has been written it doesn't jump out."

Fucking hell! That was below the belt.

I am someone's dsd and I was an unreasonable tyrant as a pre tee even though my step father had been there since I was 18 months old. He didn't deserve it and loved me unconditionally regardless and treated me like his own. However my own biological parent was down right useless but I couldn't see it at the time and thought he shat roses, however as far as I was concerned my "horrible stepdad" was making my life hell because he agreed with my mother and looked to carry out consequences just like Mum did (like not having my riding lesson at the weekend/no youth club etc)
Do you know what sorted me out, consistency,an intolerance to disrespectful and babyish behaviour and unconditional love. I adore my step father now and looking back I still can't answer why I was horrible to him or even explain some of my awful behaviour towards him. I just did and I deeply regret and feel terrible that I made his life really awkward for a little while.
He isn't damaged by it, and neither am I. We're not family but good friends now.

Hells teeth everlong do you have to be so spiteful?
The OP is asking for advice, not your nasty comments that don't help in the least.

Atbeckandcall, if it helps at all, you'd probably have been just as unreasonable at times if your stepdad had been your biological dad. I had so much more insight into my parents' behaviour once I had children of my own! So much that I had thought was awful when I was young began to seem positively restrained.

Which bit of "She's now on meltdown because I've said no to ice-cream. AIBU??" don't you understand?

I have actually read all of the thread as it developed and all most of your comments have not addressed her question in a sensible, helpful way.

Mimsy, you're probably right. Was never like it with my mum though, just had a huge chip on my shoulder with stepdad's name on it. Now I have a dd myself (albeit she's 3) I can see how restrained HE was. I was a spiteful cow. That's my word btw, mum and dad (I call dsf dad) are actually quite sweet about it all but do agree with me that I was quite harsh to him.

everlong
What is this forum title again?

Everlong hasn't been spiteful, good grief!

sally your posts look like sniping at everlong
I think it's uncalled for.

What is the forum title? What's your point?

The point is that AIBU is a question, asking for a reply.

I'm sorry Sally but that makes no sense to me.
everlong had already mentioned the name of the thread.
I believe she thought the op was being unreasonable. she gave some explanation for her own reasoning.
You can disagree of course, but there's no indication she misunderstood the name or the point of aibu.

Some ppl have said YANBU. Some have said YAbu

A few have proffered some consideredand detailed advice too. Which is great. But not a requirement of aibu.

Good lord, what a strange thread.

There you see?
miscellaneous offers a perfect example of a post that is neither helpful nor answers the question of whether the OP was BU
in addition s/he manages to be a little bit rude to every pp with one sentence (always impressive to a rambler like me).

Nice, thank you so so much.

I do think it's a strange thread. And not one that is very kind or generous to anyone. Just lots of fighting and recriminations, and I personally don't happen to like it very much.

I hesitated about commenting and kept it short as I didn't really want to be attacked or drawn in. Well that didn't work did it? I hadn't realised every post needed to be preapproved by the loudest voices on here.

But thanks for letting me know I'm not allowed to comment and put me on my place. Lovely.

I think Miscellaneous' post is helpful - makes people realise how odd they are getting.

This thread is hilarious! OP, YANBU.

To those that think there must be some backstory or complex emotional reason why a ten-year-old child has a strop - you are utterly ridiculous! Only on MN.

Hully, everlong - you are unpleasant and rude. Bow out gracefully.

OP - hope you're not upset by the rather odd posters this thread seems to have attracted. Most people (the sane ones) obviously agree with you and think you did the right thing.

Exactly, SybilRamkin. The OP has nothing to be ashamed of, and I hope she has stood firm with the girl in spite of all the moaning on here.