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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask schoolkids on the bus I was on to watch their language?

141 replies

StudyFullTime · 29/04/2014 22:29

travelling on a bus at school kicking out time and school kids got on and sat by me and 4 year old ds, they start effing and jeffing, they couldn't be older than 13/14.

Anyway I let that go until one of them calls the other a fucking cunt so I turn to them ask could they watch their language please.

They do watch their language but are still mumbling.

Then I thought balls, should I have said that? So, wibu?

OP posts:

Forlornhope · 29/04/2014 22:32

What do you think?

Vintagejazz · 29/04/2014 22:32

No YANBU. If more people did it, it might dawn on them that it's not acceptable to behave like that in public. Where I go swimming, the steam room is always full of grown men cursing and swearing regardless of who's there. They do it completely automatically and obviously have no idea that people around them might not like it. But if more people had objected when they were kids, they might have copped on.

BrianTheMole · 29/04/2014 22:32

Yanbu

runningonwillpower · 29/04/2014 22:33

You were right. Your little one shouldn't hear that. And they knew you were right because they toned it down.

Teenagers do swear - that's a fact. But the decent ones know time and place.

WorraLiberty · 29/04/2014 22:33

Seriously?

What makes you think you were unreasonable in any way at all?

TeamEdward · 29/04/2014 22:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ruushii · 29/04/2014 22:34

Yanbu to want to speak up but it's hit and miss in reality. In a similar scenario, I spoke up and then heard them planning to punch me in the face when they got off the bus. So of course, my stop came up all of a sudden. That has put me off for life unfortunately.

Forlornhope · 29/04/2014 22:34

Sigh. Why does everything have tonbevrun past other people? You were there. You said it. What's the issue

ExitPursuedByABear · 29/04/2014 22:36

If it pissed you off - tell em.

Nocomet · 29/04/2014 22:36

I have two teen DDs YANBU.

I don't mind the odd fuck at home, but I'd be furious if the were using language like that in public.

Original poster

StudyFullTime · 29/04/2014 22:40

I think it's the fact they can be quite intimidating when there's a group of them, also was expecting an earful of abuse. The worse thing I think and know it shouldn't matter is the fact it was a girl who said cunt

OP posts:

BobPatandIgglePiggle · 29/04/2014 22:40

Yanbu. Been on the metro twice today.

7.15 am - 2 lads play fighting next to me, not quite jostling me but getting right on my nerves and jostling the bloke next to them. Shot them the teacher stay and said 'stop that please'.

They stopped and the bloke leaned over to thank me.

Coming home I got a seat (amazed) in a block of 4. 2 boys sat facing each other in the window seats. One reading a newspaper - other kept flicking a lighter trying to set fire to the corner of the paper.

After 3 goes I snapped 'stop that please, it's dangerous'. He stopped too.

Pisses me right off when kids behave badly in public.

Vintagejazz · 29/04/2014 22:42

Yes Forlornhope we're just chatting about it. Feel free not to join in.

Laymizzrarb · 29/04/2014 22:48

The sad thing s, it is not just kids. Everytime I take the bus (at least twice a day) I hear bad language. From adults chatting to each other, to talking on mobiles. F-ing this, f-ing that pets etc...

AreWeThereYeti · 29/04/2014 22:48

I have called teens and adults up on their swearing many times and never had a bad reaction. I do it in a casual friendly way rather than a cross headmistressy way.

Eg, hey guys, would you mind watching your language, I've got my kids with me, thanks

I wouldn't do it if I thought they looked like they might thump me

Framboisier · 29/04/2014 22:50

Far better to say something rather than just sit there fuming/tutting.

I got onto a heaving bus on Sat - two 10 year olds sitting on seats when there were OAPs standing.
I said to them that I really thought they should get up and let the older people sit down.
They looked at me like they had never once even considered that this would be the normal thing to do. But they did get up - and I said thank you.

Sometimes I think kids do actually just need to be pulled up on something that probably would have been commonly understood when I was younger old gimmer

ColdTeaAgain · 29/04/2014 22:56

Good for you OP! No doubt everyone else on the bus felt the same.

I completely get what you mean about groups of teenagers being intimidating though. Never know if they'll do as they're told or become abusive.

Lobbing · 30/04/2014 00:15

I've never had a problem asking teenagers to mind their language when my children were younger, I was always polite and would point out that I had a young child with me. You can sometimes suss out which one to direct it to and they'll keep their mates in check a bit.

Forlornhope · 30/04/2014 06:35

Oh I forgot ladies don't swear

AwfulMaureen · 30/04/2014 07:24

I did it last week. I had my DD with me and the bus was full of old people....the thing is that these teens were so obviously naice, middle class teens that I had no fear and knew they'd just forgotten themselves. SO I smiled at them...and said "Can you not swear please? My daughter's only 6 and it's not on. Thank you." and they all went

backwardpossom · 30/04/2014 07:42

The worse thing I think and know it shouldn't matter is the fact it was a girl who said cunt

usualsuspectt · 30/04/2014 07:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SetPhasersTaeMalkie · 30/04/2014 07:51

No it wasn't unreasonable at all OP. I wouldn't have wanted DS listening to that when he was 4 either.

gordyslovesheep · 30/04/2014 08:07

yanbu to ask people to moderate their language if it offends you

I am not sure what the drama was though in asking - of why a girl saying 'cunt' is worse than a boy saying it?

gordyslovesheep · 30/04/2014 08:07

or not of

and no I don't find teens intimidating either

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