to ask schoolkids on the bus I was on to watch their language?

[StudyFullTime]

travelling on a bus at school kicking out time and school kids got on and sat by me and 4 year old ds, they start effing and jeffing, they couldn't be older than 13/14.

Anyway I let that go until one of them calls the other a fucking cunt so I turn to them ask could they watch their language please.

They do watch their language but are still mumbling.

Then I thought balls, should I have said that? So, wibu?

[Davsmum]

I told a boy of about 13 years old off one day waiting at the bus stop - I ignored it at first but his swearing got worse and worse. There were other people at the bus stop - and younger children, so in the end I asked him why he was using such bad language in public.
He though this was funny.
I asked him if he spoke like that in front of his parents - He said yes, he did and it was ok because his Dad swore a lot too.
I said that was a shame that he had a Dad who set a bad example,..but could he stop offending people at the bus stop because not everyone thought it was ok.

He did stop but was mumbling and giving me evil stares all the way through the bus journey.

[Mrsjayy]

there was a crowd of kids blocking a shop door way they were faffing on phones and being daft a woman was trying to get in she looked scared of them I just said can you move please they did I even got mumbles of sorry mrs

[javotte]

YANBU.
I often do it, very politely. Most teenagers are very sorry - they don't realise you don't swear in front of little kids.
Sadly, when I ask a grown-up, I am often sworn at.

[nicename]

I was waiting to cross the road and heard a child yelling 'oh farark orf!!'. Not in an aggressive way. When I looked I saw a child dodging around the pavement, he was about 6 or 7. I

t turned out tgat the person who he wanted top 'stop that please and don't bother me' was his mum who was trying to do a hanky spit and whipe on a stain on his school jumper.

[HelenHen]

Eliza, your comment was directed towards me with the intention to offend... Completely fucking different you idiot

[Martorana]

So, just checking, Helen. If you were on the bus, and the people in th seat behind you were talking to each other loudly and describing someone else as a nigger, you wouldn't mind? If the people concerned were 13- you still wouldn't mind? It's OK in your book for 13 year olds to shout "fucking cunt" in the bus?

[Joylin]

I dislike swearing but people shouldn't be expected to childproof their language unless they're in a child orientated environment. It's demeaning to victims of racism and their experiences to equate words used to degrade and dehumanise people based on their race or ethnicity with a harmless fuck or cunt in a conversation between friends. I can't believe people can be clueless enough to equate the two, that's a hell of a lot more offensive than a few kids swearing on a bus.

[TinklyLittleLaugh]

Swearing really isn't "broad and colourful" though is it? It's limited, repetitive and often inaccurate. It makes the swearer sound thick and rough.

My oldest three are 20, 18 and 15. They can be a bit of a handful but none of them ever swear in the house, and I've never heard any of their friends swear either.

[letsgomaths]

Confronting rowdy teens is fine in principle, and I wish more people (myself included) did it, but you do have to be careful, depending on where you are; very occasionally it ends badly, i.e. with them trying to get revenge, in ways which deserve a prison sentence. If you do tell them to mind their language, watch your back.

[Nanny0gg]

For the record, I'm Irish! We're allowed express ourselves and not considered intimidating or aggressive because we say 'fuck' in public!

Allowed by whom?

Daftest thing I've read on here in a long time.
The only justification there is for behaving badly in public is because you choose to. It's not cultural or ethnic or anything else. It's purely self-centered behaviour.

[Davsmum]

I don't understand why anyone would think swearing at their kids is acceptable. Its ignorant and disrespectful.
It certainly is not 'broad & colourful' - it just makes you look like a complete moron.=, as does having no respect for other people in a public place.

[HannerHet]

Yanbu at all
I wouldn't email the school though, as they did stop swearing when you asked them

[MyrtleDove]

Tinkly Stephen Fry swears all the time and has spoken about the joys of swearing. Does he sound thick and rough?

As for racist/homophobic language etc, that's not acceptable at any time, not even in private or around those who don't mind it. It's unacceptability isn't determined by it being in public or not.

The OP is not being unreasonable to ask anyone (regardless of age or gender) to tone it down if she's offended. It is unreasonable to say it's worse coming from a girl, or that teenagers are more likely to be violent when the opposite is true - teenagers are more likely to be the victims of violent crime than the perpetrators. Most violent group? Middle aged white men. Not teenagers.

[SuperFlyHigh]

What I wonder (don't get it much) is when kids are obviously mucking around but being dangerous near me and/or swearing - and I don't have kids and/or don't have them with me!

so would I be in the right as an adult woman to say "stop that please?"

in fact I have occasionally snapped at the odd one or two but that's only out of anger/frustration etc - and actually I think it was when I was either in a shop or just outside the shop next to the station where they crowd but can get in the way (in a huge gang) and if you try to get by they can be in the way! But the same kids getting off the train always seem polite, watch their steps/language etc...

I think generally kids/teenagers either don't realise they're saying what they're saying or that it's offensive or think they can push the boundaries to get away with it. If it was really Fing and Blinding and near me and it was loud and pissing me off I would have a word. why not? someone has to tell them. All it would take is "I know your school. I'll report that to the headteacher". otherwise they'll never learn.

[SuperFlyHigh]

MrsJjay that's excellent - well done you!

[Eliza22]

HelenHen, you miss the point. "We" can be offended by many things. For some, it's swearing in public. For others it's racism, sexism, disabled people (like my own son) are often a great source of amusement and that offends me. What I'm saying is, it's showing a total lack of respect for others, when foul language is used. So, apparently, you are Irish and "allowed to swear"? How sad. Please dont lump me in with your "Irish" heritage. I'm half Irish and I swear like a trooper in private but I wouldn't subject others to it, on a bus. You have used an idiotic rationale for your disagreeing with the OP.

Read the thread HelenHen. You may find that the majority seem to think you've missed the point. And maybe you come across as mouthy and aggressive when you're spouting expletives, maybe that's why "people" don't mind. They may feel intimidated by you.

Perhaps, rather than being Irish accounting for your foul mouth, you have some medical condition? If so, please accept my apologies.

[Abra1d]

I'd be stunned if Stephen Fry would ever be on a bus or train, in front of, say, elderly women and children, swearing. If he has been, it makes me think worse of him.

[Eliza22]

Exactly, Abr1d.

Some people just don't get it, on here!

[HelenHen]

Lol Eliza... Everyone I know swears. You, being only half Irish, May not fully understand. I come from a small town with all walks of life and all classes, including a few multi millionaires and even a billionaire! All professions and social classes... And they all swear! It's never offensive or intimidating!

I genuinely am finding this thread amusing. To whoever said I find nigger ok... I specifically said that I don't and explained why, so kindly fuck off! Otherwise you're all so easily offended. There's a massive difference between a teenager trying to find their own identity and maybe rebel a little shouting fucking cunt... And a bunch of teenagers pawing at young girls! MASSIVE!!!! That's straying from the point completely!

Anywho, I don't care! Off ya go!

[Abra1d]

And they all swear! It's never offensive or intimidating!

Well, here's something: over here, we do.

[Aeroflotgirl]

Of course YANBU someone has to tell them, good on you.

[Aeroflotgirl]

Helen swearing is unacceptable in society, it us frowned upon, fortunately you are in the minority. I should not have to hear that language in public. You would be ok with a parent calling their kids a fecking little C then! God help you.

[bigTillyMint]

Well done, OP - of course you did the right thing telling them to mind their language.

I wouldn't bother telling the school unless one of them was directly rude/threatening, etc to me - as long as they stopped using bad language, job done!

[Aeroflotgirl]

In normal civilised society swearing is unacceptable end of!