To have got really fucking annoyed with customers in a shop?

[PavlovtheCat]

Well, I bloody well know I wasn't actually, I am so fucking upset and furious that we live in a world where there are so many people who will not help others, and no cost to themselves, so I just need to vent.

I was in a new Pound Stretcher opened in a retail park as DH told me they had some reasonably priced storage baskets. It was an absolute scrum in there, so many people and really unorganised, boxes piled in the aisles, hardly able to walk past people who had stopped to pick things off shelves.

At one point I walked, (with my crutch as I have a problem with my lower spine which affects my mobility) behind a man in a wheelchair, with boxes stacked at the side so I could not walk past him with the pull-along trolley that I had to take off DD at one point to stop her from hitting people's ankles.

In the final 'corridor' which is huge, there are a pile of lamps on the bottom shelf, just sort of thrown there in no order, wires hanging off the shelf. I was a way off, and heard a smash. turned to see the guy in the wheelchair, who had a full basket on his lap had run over/somehow pulled off some lamps from the shelf, just as he reached the start of a really fucking long queue (seriously long, about 35 people deep, some couples/children so a good 50 people in front of him). He didn't seem to notice at first, or didn't realise a lamp had broken and carried on to get in the queue. Whatever, regardless, there were several people who Just fucking overtook him and got into the queue, having seen what had happened, walking past the broken lamp and two other lamps on the floor. He had by this point turned around in his wheelchair, with no hands free really as he had a full basket, went back and started to try and pick these lamps up, leaning over in his wheelchair, looking around at people with hopeful eyes and clearly feeling fucking embarrassed.

People just walked past him, to the queue, around him, deliberately avoided him, stood where they were, wherever they were and stared and everyone in this queue turned around and fucking watched him. They just fucking watched a man in a wheelchair with a basket of stuff, leaning over to pick up some fallen things on the floor (some having just overtaken him to get before him in the queue) and DID NOT FUCKING HELP. just stared.

I was walking toward him, and I walked over to him and use dmy crutch to get myself to the floor my crutch (which was hugely fucking painful, but at least I could get there, unlike the guy who was trying to pick it up) and put the ok lamps back and picked up the broken bits of the other china lamp base. While 10 feet away maximum there was the start of the long queue and faces looking down at us. I said to the man 'these people are so rude, how can they just stare?' 'i know' he said 'it's awful isn't it?'

I looked up right into the faces of these people, some of whom had again walked past us, this man, to join the queue, and shouted so they could all hear 'how can you just stare? you just walked by while this happened, you have just watched and stared - why didn't you help? why don't you help now?!!' and ALL OF THEM turned and looked the other way, as if nothing had happened. I watched them open mouthed, shook my head and said to this guy 'that is unbelievable'.

The guy said to me 'you get used to it' smiled at me, but in a quiet, resigned way. I was furious. I didn't want the guy to think I felt sorry for him but I had to fight back tears of anger. I would have helped anyone who struggled somehow if I was able. I told him that it was not right and while I had a voice I would not get used to it and he laughed. but clearly this was not the first time he had experienced people walking by when he needed help by his manner.

I told him to go back to the queue and I would get an assistant to come clear it up. I had put the broken lamp on the shelf in a pile. He said 'just leave it, I will tell them when I get to the front'. I said goodbye to him and put my basket down and walked out the shop telling the children I was not queueing for stuff I didn't even want.

I thanked my children for also trying to help (they are too little to pick up broken china) and we talked about never ever walking on by when people need help, unless it puts themselves in danger. I reminded them that we all need help sometimes and we will all need help in the future in some way and we will be thankful that people didn't walk on by and to make sure they were never like those people in that shop.

And I feel really fucking tearful even writing this.

I guess I am being unreasonable in how much this has upset me. but it really, really has.

The End.

Oh, that's horrible.

Good for you.

Not unreasonable at all. It disgusts me to see people blatantly ignoring someone in obvious need of help.

I might have embarrassed him though, as I was so angry, I didn't really think that perhaps he would have just wanted me to let it go. I didn't think that he then had to queue for another goodness knows how long behind these people.

It doesn't sound as if you did. I hope people who'd walked past felt embarrassed.

dublin and not just a couple of people. There were at least 8 people who passed him and joined the queue, plus those in the queue who were already watching (not the whole queue, probably another 4-5 people), plus, those who were near me when it happened as it was a loud smash, and those who came along from another direction. I would say at least 20 people, maybe more. 20 fucking people, some of them stopped to look. they turned to see what the noise was and just looked on.

It was the entire of that section of the shop, a big shop that was busy.

oh god yes some of them did. those in the queue, I definitely embarrassed some of them, I am sure that's why they turned away. And so they fucking should be.

Pyschology type people would no doubt say its a good example of the bystander apathy theory.

I'd say they're arseholes.

How awful, clearly twats.
Good for you standing up for him, I hope they all feel completely ashamed of themselves-as they should.

How lovely of you to try and help, sadly I think your experience is the norm rather than the exception. Often the only people who help disabled people are those disabled themselves or their carers, the disabled do seem to be invisible.

i can't remember what its called but its a thing that happens in large crowds when everyone assumes someone else will help so no one does. Absolutely no excuse of course but sadly very common. good on you for helping, the world needs more people like you!

viva psychology has it's place, but we can make excuses for any type of ignorant and horrible behaviour if we want to imo.

It is dispiriting, isn't it? I do think the herd mentality takes over. I bet if it had been a quiet Tuesday morning, and the same thing had happened with one other person in the aisle, they would have helped him or at least gone to find an assistant to give him a hand.
Try not to brood, you did the right thing by helping him, and think about the times when people have surprised you by going out of their way to help.

That made me teary to read. I am actually sitting here next to DH trying to pretend like I'm not crying at something I read on the internet. What awful, awful people. So glad you stood up for him and talked to your children about it.

emotion I so would like to think that it was not my own disability that meant that I helped and that I would have done so anyway, just a bit faster than I was, it took me a while to get there! I was not even being kind, I was doing What Needed To Be Done. You know? Someone needs help, two minutes of my time, job done, move on. It's what we humans do right? Well, clearly not, but I honestly forgot that most people just don't help others.

I remember (before my back fucked up) a woman came wondering out of Morrisons, looking half drunk, stumbling, falling, stood for a moment before collapsing to the floor. DH ran forward to catch her (she was a tall woman, taller than DH) and stopped her head from hitting the floor (it was a concrete floor and she was falling straight down, it would have hit hard) as she was having a seizure and a man actually moved out of the way when he could have caught her! And carried on walking away while looking back! And DH had to shout at those watching to call a fucking ambulance! Luckily a security guard came out with first aider and I called an ambulance. I had forgotten about that time until now.

Has happened to me too.

But have also had the complete opposite where people and staff were jumping over themselves to be helpful. Last week I fell walking along the pavement, and I couldn't get up as I've hurt my bad ankle. People stopped in cars and came from the other side of the road (over a barrier) to help me out, called an ambulance, found something to pillow my head and something to put over me to keep me warm as I was going into shock. I managed to text one couple back and say thank you after I got out of hospital, it makes such a big difference having someone to help.

I feel terrible for both of you, you were brave to speak up and it's really shocking that people still ignored the situation. I do find myself spotting and helping other people with mobility issues quite often, some people seem quite oblivious.

That's made me really upset reading that. I really hate the general public sometimes, unfortunately this type of thing is far too common.

and another time when DH drove along to see a guy on the pavement, head toward the road, unconscious. He stopped his car, gave him our blanket for his head, and used his car to stop traffic as cars had been driving around him, until paramedic on bike turned up. He was an old guy, suspected heart attack. but, even if he were a drunk as probably presumed by most people (there are lots of pubs along that road) he still didn't deserve to have his head run over.

corus I would say from how he spoke to me and the surprise and smile on his face when I talked to him, that he did not ask as he did not expect any help. He looked shy, nervous, quiet, and like he accepted it was how it was. He said so 'you get used to it'. To ask for help from people clearly trying to avoid you, it's a hard thing to do especially if you get rejected.

corus I didn't risk injury. It hurt, but I know what is wrong with my back and I know my limitations. I have limited mobility but it's still there, just takes longer. I can get to the floor and up again, it hurts to do so and I need to lean on my crutch and it takes time as I can't bend properly but it would damage me any more than any other stuff I get on with in life, life continues doesn't it? I am not going to watch a bloke try to sort something out on his own and risk leaning to far in his wheelchair to fix an accident caused by him even though it was due to being stacked badly (he obviously felt he should clear it up), just to avoid a bit of pain. Yes he could have shouted at the bystanders for help, but why should he?

In my local town they had an event last weekend, so we took the kids. All have disabilities. One in a major buggy, one in a wheelchair, the other can walk.

We queued for a street entertainer doing balloon modelling. Three times a parent plonked their child in front of mine, sat patiently in her major buggy. Like she didn't exist.

Eventually the entertainer noticed and came to us next. We hit dirty looks for that.

Then we moved on to the face paints. After the fifth queue jumper shoved their kid in front of mine we gave up.

We then gave up as the umpteenth person to step over my children in buggy/wheelchair actually tripped doing so, kicking my daughter and gave US a mouthful for it.

Sorry OP it's not the same but I feel it's another example of disabled people being invisible, as they really are. People don't see my kids and if they do they get treated like they're sub human.

I'm sorry you and this guy went through this today. It's sadly very normal, though.

It might have been more useful if you'd simply told an assistant about the shop's badly stacked stock. I don't really see why there was any need for you or the man in the wheelchair to pick it up.

I'm also unclear how shouting at the rest of the customers was supposed to help anyone.