To have got really fucking annoyed with customers in a shop?

[PavlovtheCat]

Well, I bloody well know I wasn't actually, I am so fucking upset and furious that we live in a world where there are so many people who will not help others, and no cost to themselves, so I just need to vent.

I was in a new Pound Stretcher opened in a retail park as DH told me they had some reasonably priced storage baskets. It was an absolute scrum in there, so many people and really unorganised, boxes piled in the aisles, hardly able to walk past people who had stopped to pick things off shelves.

At one point I walked, (with my crutch as I have a problem with my lower spine which affects my mobility) behind a man in a wheelchair, with boxes stacked at the side so I could not walk past him with the pull-along trolley that I had to take off DD at one point to stop her from hitting people's ankles.

In the final 'corridor' which is huge, there are a pile of lamps on the bottom shelf, just sort of thrown there in no order, wires hanging off the shelf. I was a way off, and heard a smash. turned to see the guy in the wheelchair, who had a full basket on his lap had run over/somehow pulled off some lamps from the shelf, just as he reached the start of a really fucking long queue (seriously long, about 35 people deep, some couples/children so a good 50 people in front of him). He didn't seem to notice at first, or didn't realise a lamp had broken and carried on to get in the queue. Whatever, regardless, there were several people who Just fucking overtook him and got into the queue, having seen what had happened, walking past the broken lamp and two other lamps on the floor. He had by this point turned around in his wheelchair, with no hands free really as he had a full basket, went back and started to try and pick these lamps up, leaning over in his wheelchair, looking around at people with hopeful eyes and clearly feeling fucking embarrassed.

People just walked past him, to the queue, around him, deliberately avoided him, stood where they were, wherever they were and stared and everyone in this queue turned around and fucking watched him. They just fucking watched a man in a wheelchair with a basket of stuff, leaning over to pick up some fallen things on the floor (some having just overtaken him to get before him in the queue) and DID NOT FUCKING HELP. just stared.

I was walking toward him, and I walked over to him and use dmy crutch to get myself to the floor my crutch (which was hugely fucking painful, but at least I could get there, unlike the guy who was trying to pick it up) and put the ok lamps back and picked up the broken bits of the other china lamp base. While 10 feet away maximum there was the start of the long queue and faces looking down at us. I said to the man 'these people are so rude, how can they just stare?' 'i know' he said 'it's awful isn't it?'

I looked up right into the faces of these people, some of whom had again walked past us, this man, to join the queue, and shouted so they could all hear 'how can you just stare? you just walked by while this happened, you have just watched and stared - why didn't you help? why don't you help now?!!' and ALL OF THEM turned and looked the other way, as if nothing had happened. I watched them open mouthed, shook my head and said to this guy 'that is unbelievable'.

The guy said to me 'you get used to it' smiled at me, but in a quiet, resigned way. I was furious. I didn't want the guy to think I felt sorry for him but I had to fight back tears of anger. I would have helped anyone who struggled somehow if I was able. I told him that it was not right and while I had a voice I would not get used to it and he laughed. but clearly this was not the first time he had experienced people walking by when he needed help by his manner.

I told him to go back to the queue and I would get an assistant to come clear it up. I had put the broken lamp on the shelf in a pile. He said 'just leave it, I will tell them when I get to the front'. I said goodbye to him and put my basket down and walked out the shop telling the children I was not queueing for stuff I didn't even want.

I thanked my children for also trying to help (they are too little to pick up broken china) and we talked about never ever walking on by when people need help, unless it puts themselves in danger. I reminded them that we all need help sometimes and we will all need help in the future in some way and we will be thankful that people didn't walk on by and to make sure they were never like those people in that shop.

And I feel really fucking tearful even writing this.

I guess I am being unreasonable in how much this has upset me. but it really, really has.

The End.

it is sad that people are so unwilling to help others now, they seem to exist in their self centred bubble the lack of care, consideration and manners is so sad to see.

Glad you were there to help pavlov, hopefully your actions went some way to restoring his faith in people

OP it is none of your business nor the people in the queue's nor the man in the wheelchair's to pick up the broken goods. Shops don't want you doing this since if you cut yourself that potentially becomes their problem. Your and his attempts to re-stack the badly stocked goods are probably going to make it worse.

joules honestly, there were pallets stacked against the shelves right into the aisles. There were unopened boxes stuffed into shelves that customers had to open to get into.

And, to demonstrate my actual proper self righteousness, my DD put back the basket by the door where we got it after taking out the one item of casserole mix I had picked up. There is no way she (7) or my DS aged 4 would leave it lying in the middle of the aisles, they are also holier than thou

sparkling x-posts! I was tempted, just for the irony of it

My husband tried to help a heavily pregnant woman just the other day. She turned and snarled at him I am pregnant not disabled,

shrugs

so he won't offer again. I always offer to help elderly, if they throw it back in my face that's more their probkem than mine but most of them are lovely

Good on you, Pavlov. If you hadn't have done what you'd done, you'd have just gone along and normalised shite behaviour.

Inconsiderate and dangerous, Joules? Fuck me, I must have missed the bit where the OP shat in the aisle and then stuck a hand grenade in it.

I FEEL tearful for you.

What you told your children is write but I would add if someone needs help but it is too risky for them to do so they could call whichever emergency service is needed or tell someone else. They don't have to leave someone who needs help.

I would have got an assistant and demanded that the put the man in the wheelchair to the front of the queue or at least before the people who effectively pushed in if you knew who they were.

DH once helped a woman with a baby in a carriage style pram off a tram years ago and nearly tipped the baby out.

Cunty

I was at the hand grenade Cunty not the poor baby.

caitlin worse! You didn't see how the lamps were stacked in the first place, I made it better! I am not the most organised person in the world, but I can figure out how to put a lamp on a shelf.

Are you really saying the shop staff would prefer that customers just leave broken china in the middle of the floor of a busy shop?

Corus I think it's a fair point that one should not assume disabled people want help with everything, even if they appear to be struggling. I agree that assuming that is really, really rude.

To me the situation didn't read like that, since it sounds like he didn't just appear to be struggling, but also appeared to be wanting help but not wanting to ask.

Another reasonable choice might have been to go over and ask whether he wanted help.

I realize that even asking whether he wanted help could have been insulting too. But again in this situation it didn't sound like it would been insulting.

at the hand grenade cunty. Not the baby.

Yes OP If you felt that strongly it was dangerously stacked tell someone. I refuse to believe there was no staff. You don't take it upon yourself.

itsfab good point about emergency services. DS is only 4 so would struggle, DD is 7 so could probably manage it, but tbh would always be with me, but something I will add as she grows older.

caitlin the lamps were not dangerously stacked, well, apart from the trailing wires. And until I put the wires back. Given my own mobility limitations, I am much more amenable to re-stacking a couple of lamps and collecting some china up so it's not dangerous for people to stand on than go traipsing around the shop trying to find someone, which would actually cause me more damage than picking up some china. it's vast like some small B&Q but with teeny tiny aisles, no organisation and no staff.

But you are absolutely right. I should tell them their stacking is bad. I will send them an email. Maybe take a few photos for them to get their teeth into. If I could even bring myself to go in there again.

keats it IS AIBU, it is The Law that some people disagree, that they read stuff into the OP that is not there, but could be read if you read it in the right angle and a certain light. It would not be proper if there was not at least some nitpicking

I feel less tearful now at least.

spider shame your DP had a bad experience trying to help someone.

Aha! Of course. I forgot. You are right, it would not be proper

Glad you feel better.

Thanks for letting me know that in future I shouldn't want help as others won't want to patronise me.

Thanks. Good to see the arsiness I encounter is normal and I have unrealistic expectations.