To have got really fucking annoyed with customers in a shop?

[PavlovtheCat]

Well, I bloody well know I wasn't actually, I am so fucking upset and furious that we live in a world where there are so many people who will not help others, and no cost to themselves, so I just need to vent.

I was in a new Pound Stretcher opened in a retail park as DH told me they had some reasonably priced storage baskets. It was an absolute scrum in there, so many people and really unorganised, boxes piled in the aisles, hardly able to walk past people who had stopped to pick things off shelves.

At one point I walked, (with my crutch as I have a problem with my lower spine which affects my mobility) behind a man in a wheelchair, with boxes stacked at the side so I could not walk past him with the pull-along trolley that I had to take off DD at one point to stop her from hitting people's ankles.

In the final 'corridor' which is huge, there are a pile of lamps on the bottom shelf, just sort of thrown there in no order, wires hanging off the shelf. I was a way off, and heard a smash. turned to see the guy in the wheelchair, who had a full basket on his lap had run over/somehow pulled off some lamps from the shelf, just as he reached the start of a really fucking long queue (seriously long, about 35 people deep, some couples/children so a good 50 people in front of him). He didn't seem to notice at first, or didn't realise a lamp had broken and carried on to get in the queue. Whatever, regardless, there were several people who Just fucking overtook him and got into the queue, having seen what had happened, walking past the broken lamp and two other lamps on the floor. He had by this point turned around in his wheelchair, with no hands free really as he had a full basket, went back and started to try and pick these lamps up, leaning over in his wheelchair, looking around at people with hopeful eyes and clearly feeling fucking embarrassed.

People just walked past him, to the queue, around him, deliberately avoided him, stood where they were, wherever they were and stared and everyone in this queue turned around and fucking watched him. They just fucking watched a man in a wheelchair with a basket of stuff, leaning over to pick up some fallen things on the floor (some having just overtaken him to get before him in the queue) and DID NOT FUCKING HELP. just stared.

I was walking toward him, and I walked over to him and use dmy crutch to get myself to the floor my crutch (which was hugely fucking painful, but at least I could get there, unlike the guy who was trying to pick it up) and put the ok lamps back and picked up the broken bits of the other china lamp base. While 10 feet away maximum there was the start of the long queue and faces looking down at us. I said to the man 'these people are so rude, how can they just stare?' 'i know' he said 'it's awful isn't it?'

I looked up right into the faces of these people, some of whom had again walked past us, this man, to join the queue, and shouted so they could all hear 'how can you just stare? you just walked by while this happened, you have just watched and stared - why didn't you help? why don't you help now?!!' and ALL OF THEM turned and looked the other way, as if nothing had happened. I watched them open mouthed, shook my head and said to this guy 'that is unbelievable'.

The guy said to me 'you get used to it' smiled at me, but in a quiet, resigned way. I was furious. I didn't want the guy to think I felt sorry for him but I had to fight back tears of anger. I would have helped anyone who struggled somehow if I was able. I told him that it was not right and while I had a voice I would not get used to it and he laughed. but clearly this was not the first time he had experienced people walking by when he needed help by his manner.

I told him to go back to the queue and I would get an assistant to come clear it up. I had put the broken lamp on the shelf in a pile. He said 'just leave it, I will tell them when I get to the front'. I said goodbye to him and put my basket down and walked out the shop telling the children I was not queueing for stuff I didn't even want.

I thanked my children for also trying to help (they are too little to pick up broken china) and we talked about never ever walking on by when people need help, unless it puts themselves in danger. I reminded them that we all need help sometimes and we will all need help in the future in some way and we will be thankful that people didn't walk on by and to make sure they were never like those people in that shop.

And I feel really fucking tearful even writing this.

I guess I am being unreasonable in how much this has upset me. but it really, really has.

The End.

pavlov you absolutely did the right thing and judging by the reaction of the man in the wheelchair you did not upset, embarass or patronise him so keep polishing that halo.

My DH is disabled and would have been grateful for your kindness.

OP You do not sound at all patronising. We all have to hope that we would have done better. This is MN and many of us would.

I think you did the right thing.

We had similar happen, load of stuff fell off the shelf in front of us, place packed, people pushing through. Me with the double pushchair and two year old on reigns. Couldn't move the pushchair without picking all the stuff up. I'd have been so happy if someone had stopped to help that day!

I think it is certainly some sort of herd mentality. I fell headlong when running for bus last year at around 8 pm., and for a time I could do nothing but lie there and gasp because I had winded myself. Within seconds a group of lovely people gathered, picking up my things, helping me up, asking if I wanted an ambulance, guiding me to a seat, helping me to clean up where I'd cut my head. So people are capable of being lovely and kind, but sometimes they just seem to be reluctant to break out of the crowd and do something to help.

YABU to expect Poundstretcher shoppers to be anything other than entirely self-interested and feral.

YANBU it amazes me how selfish and impatient the general public are.
I once went to see Jesus Christ superstar in Manchester with my nan, and we were waiting for a lift at the end to the car parks. Now my nan was old and had a walking stick so we couldn't take the stairs, but perfectly able bodied people were also waiting, as the stairs were chocca block. Only one person in a wheelchair was 'in front' of us in the v disorderly queue (ie he'd got there before us) but when the lift doors pinged open people just swarmed in past him and my nan, who were both to slow to get there in time, due to their disabilities. so when the next lift came, I noticed the next bunch of people go to do the same and I literally leaped forward and starfished across the lift doors before anyone could get in and declared that this man and my nan were first and no one was to get in until they had.

Cue much tutting and grumpiness (and looks like I was a lunatic, which to be fair I kind of was in that moment), I have to say I was mortified for all the rude and impatient people.

Bloody hell Trillions. How rude are you!

Good on you chippy, selfish arseholes

Trillions seems to have forgotten the OP was a Poundstretcher customer too.

Chippy common occurrence for us, too. I've shared before the indignity of my son having a toileting accident because people surged ahead of us at the science museum in London. These people had other options - stairs - we didn't.

I find the general public with vanishingly few exceptions self absorbed, selfish and ignorant. If you have any kind of mobility issue you are a hindrance and a nuisance and they behave like you're not there.

It's why when someone takes the time to think and consider you it makes your day. It's reduced me to tears before now.

I'm deadly serious here. The general public when out and about do not give a shit about disabled people and prefer yo act like they don't exist.

I think it's for the same reason nobody opposed welfare reforms that disproportionately affect disabled people and carers. Because they fear it.

Well, avoiding disability won't make you immune.....

corus no-one 'noticed' me going over to help him they were not being kind as he was already being helped. I was miles away from him! I heard the crash of the stuff, and turned around (it was in the general direction I was walking but at the time I was vaguely looking at wicker baskets) By the time I walked to him, no-one had helped, in the time it took me to walk to where he was I would say that probably 10-15 people had stopped to stare, walked by (some to queue up where he had been), walked around him etc. They did not go 'oh look at that other disabled person helping, isn't she kind, let's not interfere they seem to be managing fine by themselves'.

Oh and to add a little. I was telling DH (who is away) about this earlier, minus swearwords etc as DD was in earshot and she said 'they were whispering and pointing mummy'.

So. People stopped, stared, pointed, whispered, then walked around, past, and stood in the queue watching some more. I shall refer back to vivas eloquent statement towards the beginning of the thread.

Coruskate yes that's what it sounded like to me to. I started reading the thread expecting the man in the wheelchair had been pushed over or queue jumped or something like that.

and if those people had offered to help 'grovel around the floor' it would have been cleared up before I even got there. I am not talking about a period of seconds. They were not stopping and staring at me. They were already gawping long before I got there, watching some bloke struggling to not be a selfish fuckwit and wheel himself off. Except he would not have been able to do that anyway, as it was right near where he was queuing so would have had to deal with it anyway. No-one would leave a broken item on the floor next to them while they stood in a queue, looking at it. Why should he? He has morals and wanted to clean up his mess, even if caused by incompetent stacking on shelves.

So. Just to re-iterate. He knocked it off, a ton of people walked on by, I got there and was not prepared to watch him as well.

But OP you weren't helping this man. You and he were taking it on yourselves to pick up the fallen goods. I'm sure most of us have knocked things off displays if it's spectacular and/or noisy then invariably an assistant turns up and stops you helping (making it worse/risking cutting yourself) If this shop has inadequate staffing levels that's its problem.

You're not serious - you knock stuff over and leave it?

Sorry, that came out ruder than I meant, I just don't think it's typical, though maybe it would've been practical, I guess.

There are a lot of cunts in the world.

Luckily, there are more nice people, but not in that shop on that day.

THE OP WAS FUCKING HELPING!!!!!