To ask those of you who are pro life?

[Anonynony]

How do you feel about friends who have had abortions? Can you maintain friendships with people who have had an abortion and no regrets?

One of my friends has stunned me, talking about another friend of ours who had considered an abortion and my friend said I'm so glad she didn't because I wouldn't have been able to stay friends with her
I'm really surprised, I'm extremely pro choice and vocal about it but this doesn't bother my friend.
But what my friend doesn't know is that I also had an abortion and although I have no regrets I feel a bit strange around my friend now?

Bumbly we have met before.

No it's perfectly normal for lots of women to feel nothing but relief after an abortion.

I think there can be a difference between what you believe should be legally allowed, and what you personally feel is morally right.

I personally believe a woman should be legally allowed to terminate the pregnancy (though not pre-emptively end the life of the fetus before delivery, if it is likely to survive outside the womb). I believe she should legally be able to do that for any reason.

However, I can't help but have an instinctive moral feeling of repulsion against those who don't feel any sense of responsibility to try and prevent it happening multiple times, or to get it done as early as possible once decided. The fetus may not have legal rights, but it is still effected, and with more capacity to feel as time goes on.

I don't think many women are like that though (just a minority who make headlines!)

I would stay friends yes I would have to struggle with myself not to judge.

anon that charity sounds fantastic.

affected*

Anon this was when dinosaurs roamed the earth a long time ago before the internet. I am so glad that there are such organisations but so angry that they are still being shipped over. FWIW she does not regret or feel bad about it.

Oh good grief, here we go again.
Right, I am pro choice. I make no judgement on anyone who needs or requires a termination whatever the reason. It's not my business.
Neither am I unbelievably cruel to people who are being forced to carry a child to term, a child that will not survive and whom the mother knows will not survive.

"I fully support a woman's right to choose to have/not have a child at any stage of her pregnancy."

I would struggle with being friends with someone who would choose to go through labour just a couple of weeks before the baby (that is what it is) became viable.

I would struggle to understand why a few weeks couldn't be waited and the baby given up for adoption.

I think that there becomes a point that the baby is a person with rights to consider and unless doctors agree, in regards to severe disability etc, that it is more humane to end the pregnancy.

I don't see why that would be viewed any differently than holding a new born under water straight after birth, tbh.

In fact, the new born would probably feel less, than a late aborted baby left to die (Ive heard a nurse describe how they had to ignore this for hours).

It depends on whether you see a baby in the womb, past s so many weeks, as human, though. I don't understand why you wouldn't and if you attacked a pregnant woman and caused the death of that baby, you would be charged with destruction.

I struggle to friendly to any parents that have harmed their children in any way, though.

BabyFaced, you do not have to engage with me if you do not want to. I did address a post you on the previous thread that I think you may have missed (many others did too).

I'd just like to draw attention to the title of this thread - it is a question addressed to pro-lifers so it should be obvious that there will be opinions on this thread which some people may find offensive or upsetting. I am worried that people will starting asking others to censor their opinions at the risk of upsetting other people or accuse people of being insensitive because they are sharing their opinions when they have been asked to.

Anya, it really depends on what situations they think it is ok for. e.g.. saving the life of the mother.

LineRunner, yes, but what should we call them? "pro-choice' is a misnomer for them too.

"I don't think many women are like that though"

I have met a large number who are, but then I also meet people who abuse/neglect their children daily (for various reasons).

This is why we do need a level of laws around all children.

Reality

the body, not sure what you are saying 'No' to. I haven't said that all women regret their decision or that some of them do not experience anything but relief.

If 100% pro-choice means that you support abortion to term for any reason then what are people who support the idea of abortion up to 24 weeks? 50%? 75%?

They're pro-choice, bumbley.

You can support people's choice on whether to drive a motor vehicle, while still advocating restricted permission. Personally, I support women's choices at any point of gestation, but do not support laxer driving restrictions.

The correct term for your stance is anti-choice.

I dont view them any differently.

I am still friends with a couple who aborted their first chikd because it wasn't the right time for them.

However I will never speak again to the ex-mutual friend who told me about the abortion in an attempt to break up our friendship.

This causes problems because our circle of mutual friends can't understand why I have so virulently taken against the secret-teller. And obviously I cannot tell the couple concerned, nor our friendship group my reasons for ostracising him.

bumble Law-abiding citizens?

The correct term for your stance is anti-choice.

Forced birther is an American feminist term that I think is accurate.

Whilst I personally would like to think I would never have an abortion - what another woman chooses to do with her body is entirely up to her.

So I guess that makes me pro-choice, although my choice would be not to personally. Isn't this what abortion laws were passed for though? To give us choices?

That said, if I ever found myself in the horrific position of carrying a child who perhaps wouldn't survive then I genuinely wouldn't know what I would do.

But I would never judge a friend for her choice. A big brother wannabe who wants to be famous? Yes I admit I do judge her!!!!

I know, I'm probably a massive hypocrite

On another note, my sister delivers babies (she's a doctor) and she refuses to carry out abortions. That is her choice. However any patient requesting an abortion just gets referred to one of her colleagues. No drama, no judging, she just feels how can she deliver babies and save their lives if they are preterm on one hand and then end a life on another.

Garlic, pro-choice is supporting a woman's right to choose. Either you support her right to choose or you don't. If you start putting conditions on it then you aren't supporting her right to choose for herself.

LineRunner, then does that mean that the people who support the idea of a woman's right to choose abortion to term are not law-abiding citizens?

Hadn't heard that, Tondelayo! Yes.

bumbly you said you couldn't be friends with a woman who wasn't affected by her abortion. Presumably then you would want to see contrition/emotion. Just think that's wierd but hey your choice.

choice that funny concept that's somehow only applied to all men all of the time but only to a women until she becomes pregnant.

Then society tried to control and dictate to her about her body.

Strange.

You're splitting hairs in a deeply irrational way, bumbley. I'm guessing that you, an anti-choicer, still support abortion in cases where the foetus(es) and mother cannot all survive the pregnancy until birth. This doesn't mean you're not anti-choice, does it? One may quite reasonably hold strong views conditionally.

I wouldn't be friends with anyone that was Anti-Choice. If I were to find out that any of my current friends were Anti-Choice then I would regretfully remove myself from their lives.

I couldn't be around someone that didn't believe in a woman's right to autonomy over her own body. I believe that the living human being has rights over and above an unborn foetus.

I support wholeheartedly a woman's right to choose what she does with the contents of her own womb. I support the legal aspect of the 24 week limit because I understand that children have been born and (with a whole load of medical intervention) have lived at that limit. I do not think that is an absolute though, as without medical intervention than a foetus is unlikely to survive - I believe that SToP should be provided as early as possible and as late as necessary.

LineRunner, then does that mean that the people who support the idea of a woman's right to choose abortion to term are not law-abiding citizens?

Don't be silly, bumble. You are playing games now that I would fail a first year student over. Dear me.

"Forced birther is an American feminist term that I think is accurate."

But we are discussing late abortions, so a birth will still happen, whether the baby will be allowed to survive or not.