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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask those of you who are pro life?

999 replies

Anonynony · 21/04/2014 14:49

How do you feel about friends who have had abortions? Can you maintain friendships with people who have had an abortion and no regrets?

One of my friends has stunned me, talking about another friend of ours who had considered an abortion and my friend said I'm so glad she didn't because I wouldn't have been able to stay friends with her Shock
I'm really surprised, I'm extremely pro choice and vocal about it but this doesn't bother my friend.
But what my friend doesn't know is that I also had an abortion and although I have no regrets I feel a bit strange around my friend now?

OP posts:
bumbleymummy · 22/04/2014 20:21

Garlic, I said baby/child not foetus. If a woman can't look after her baby/child should she be able to kill it?

LtEve, she is still an example of someone who would have a late term abortion. Something that some people keep insisting wouldn't happen in order to make their 'right to abortion to term for any reason' argument a bit easier for them to stand by.

GarlicAprilShowers · 22/04/2014 20:23

FGS. If a woman can't look after her baby/child should she be able to kill it?

She should be able to abort it. Then she doesn't have a "baby/child".

bumbleymummy · 22/04/2014 20:25

Garlic, not everyone finds out they are incapable of looking after a baby/child before they are born. Do you think that means that they should be able to kill them?

LtEveDallas · 22/04/2014 20:33

LtEve, she is still an example of someone who would have a late term abortion. Something that some people keep insisting wouldn't happen in order to make their 'right to abortion to term for any reason' argument a bit easier for them to stand by

Strawman Argument. NO-ONE has said insisted that late term abortions wouldn't happen. What people are refuting is that they would happen regularly, they don't. Less than 150 in nearly 190,000 - and all in NHS hospitals which means there was a medical need.

allisgood1 · 22/04/2014 20:48

I am pro life but don't judge people for their choices. That's someone much biggers job.

Dawndonnaagain · 22/04/2014 20:49

Do you think that means that they should be able to kill them?
Remember the link to the logical fallacies page I gave you on the last thread...

ikeaismylocal · 22/04/2014 20:52

I don't think anyone is arguing against late abortions for medical reasons or servere problems in the baby.

JanineStHubbins · 22/04/2014 20:53

I don't think anyone is arguing against late abortions for medical reasons or servere problems in the baby.

Bumbley is, aren't you bumbley?

ikeaismylocal · 22/04/2014 20:55

Isn't bumbley arguing against all abortions not specifically late ones.

JanineStHubbins · 22/04/2014 20:59

Yes, she's arguing against all abortions, including abortion in the case of rape and including abortions in cases like TheBabyFacedAssassin, where the foetus is incompatible with life. Because of people like bumbley, women in Northern Ireland (part of the UK, remember!) are forced to continue with the pregnancy in spite of this.

thebodydoestricks · 22/04/2014 21:06

bumbly

Are you actually incapable of understanding the killing of a born breathing baby out of a womb and an abortion. They are totally different. One is the crime of murder/manslaughter and the other is not.

.

bumbleymummy · 22/04/2014 21:07

LtEvem just because something wouldn't happen regularly does not mean that it would be ok if it did. The figures you are talking about only cover the late term abortions for medical reasons because they are the only ones that are currently legal. It does not give you an idea of how many late term abortions would be carried out for non-medical reasons if they were legal.

Yes, ikea, I am.

Janine, you should also go and look up my post to baby on the last thread.

bumbleymummy · 22/04/2014 21:08

the body, I am perfectly capable of understanding the legal aspects. That's not why I was asking the question.

JanineStHubbins · 22/04/2014 21:10

I know what you posted. Have I misrepresented it here? Happy to hear a clarification.

LineRunner · 22/04/2014 21:11

Exactly, Janine.

thebodydoestricks · 22/04/2014 21:13

No one is saying late abortions don't exist. No one.

again see the stats these are overwhelmingly for medical reasons. I expect the doctors know things you actually don't.

People like baby are living with the consequences that people like you approve of.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 22/04/2014 21:19

"aside from location, what is the difference between a full term foetus in utero and a new born baby?"

Seriously?! An adult posting on an internet forum can't work this out. Well, let me see, a unborn foetus needs the placenta to get oxygen, a new born baby does not.

LtEveDallas · 22/04/2014 21:21

It does not give you an idea of how many late term abortions would be carried out for non-medical reasons if they were legal

Because no-one can answer that question, without a time machine or crystal ball.

I could even state "If abortions to term were made legal, no-one would have them" and I would be just as right as someone that said "If abortions to term were made legal, there would be 1000 every year"

That is why it makes more sense to rely on statistical FACT rather than strawman arguments.

GarlicAprilShowers · 22/04/2014 21:21

Garlic, not everyone finds out they are incapable of looking after a baby/child before they are born. Do you think that means that they should be able to kill them?

If they do kill them, they're invariably suffering from intense mental distress. If all our systems worked properly, they would be able to access the support they need before they reach such a drastic stage.

If all our systems worked properly, they would also be able to access the support they need before giving birth - including a termination if necessary, saving everyone a great deal of heartache after the fact.

If your preferred laws were passed, all such distressed women would be faced with unbearable conditions that would lead them to infanticide, as happened in the past. Your preferred laws also lead to midwives killing newborns, as I described in yet another post you've chosen to ignore.

Anyway, I've defended women's right to choose quite enough for this thread. No doubt I'll meet you and your tiresome bigotry on another one soon.

Bye for now!

thebodydoestricks · 22/04/2014 21:22

No janine you are spot on.

ikeaismylocal · 22/04/2014 21:24

Yes, but if that fetus is capable of independant breathing once out of the uterus why should the mother have the option to kill the fetus, well mother's don't have that option as it is wrong.

passmethewineplease · 22/04/2014 21:24

I am not anti abortion but I do have a friend that had quite a late termination.

There were no medical issues with the foetus

She was however 14 or 15, (sorry can't remember exactly) vulnerable and in a horrible relationship with an older controlling man, (to the point her family had to take out an order against him) she didn't just wake up and think hey I know what I'll do I'll book myself a termination for the hell of it. Instead she pretended it wasn't happening and that it would go away, it didn't and eventually another friend had to tell her mum.

Didn't change my opinion of her or our very valued friendship, I could not of gone through what she went through, she is a strong woman.

People would judge her situation because their was no medial issues with the baby but it is much more complex than that.

I'm pretty sure the first feeling she remembers feeling after the operation was sheer relief.

I couldn't be friends with someone who thinks woman should be forced to carry to term no matter the circumstances.

thebodydoestricks · 22/04/2014 21:32

Can I add too unless I am accused of bullying.

Everyone has a right to the autonomy of their body.

I have absolutely total respect with people who wouldn't countenance an abortion for themselves. That's absolutely fine.

What is not fine is legislating for other people's bodies.

CaptChaos · 22/04/2014 21:33

I have absolutely total respect with people who wouldn't countenance an abortion for themselves. That's absolutely fine.

What is not fine is legislating for other people's bodies.

^^This, in spades.

thebodydoestricks · 22/04/2014 21:36

passmethewineplease real life is far more complicated than theories isn't it?

Hope your friend is ok. Poor kid.