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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask those of you who are pro life?

999 replies

Anonynony · 21/04/2014 14:49

How do you feel about friends who have had abortions? Can you maintain friendships with people who have had an abortion and no regrets?

One of my friends has stunned me, talking about another friend of ours who had considered an abortion and my friend said I'm so glad she didn't because I wouldn't have been able to stay friends with her Shock
I'm really surprised, I'm extremely pro choice and vocal about it but this doesn't bother my friend.
But what my friend doesn't know is that I also had an abortion and although I have no regrets I feel a bit strange around my friend now?

OP posts:
JanineStHubbins · 22/04/2014 15:59

I just think it's hypocritical for people on here to bleat on about guys knowing when they have sex there's a chance of pregnancy so they should face up to their responsibilities, whether by unsafe sex or contraceptive failure...... But for women they don't have to because their body their choice.

Women do face up to their responsibilities, either by having an abortion or by continuing with the pregnancy.

vixsatis · 22/04/2014 16:00

Whenever a woman has sex there is a risk of getting pregnant. The risk is reduced but not eliminated by contraception. The risk is one with which we are landed by nature, not by the patriarchy. If pregnancy occurs as a result of consensual sex, then one has taken the risk and consented to the pregancy.

thebodydoestricks · 22/04/2014 16:04

Fifi have you tried empathy?

CaptChaos · 22/04/2014 16:05

If pregnancy occurs as a result of consensual sex, then one has taken the risk and consented to the pregancy.

What utter tosh.

When you consent to a specific sexual act, that's all you're consenting to. Unless you're also suggesting that women are also consenting to getting syphilis, because, nature?

thebodydoestricks · 22/04/2014 16:09

women have to deal with the consequences

Er they do. Abort/give both.

Womem are quite able to deal with oregnant and should be left to make the choice that suits her without reference to any other fucker.

Her decision should be respected.

Access to medical assistance should be her right.

thebodydoestricks · 22/04/2014 16:13

vixstaris probably the most baffling post I have read.

GarlicAprilShowers · 22/04/2014 16:13

I'm a bit fed up with all the sneering about people being irresponsible about contraception. It's top of mind because I've been talking to a friend who has a lot of children (more than 4) all of which were conceived using double contraception, and triple in one case.

I'm not shifting my position. I'm fully pro-choice, whatever the circumstances. I just find sneering especially repugnant.

Even more repugnant is the way some of today's posters have openly chosen to speak of a baby as a punishment: 'she made her choice, she should live with the consequences' type thing. An unwanted child, born to a resentful mother in straitened circumstances, has poor prospects mentally, physically, socially and materially. Which would be why its mother wanted to spare it that future. If the mother herself suffers mental illness, chances are she and her child will live agonisingly miserable lives.

It certainly is a punishment, for both of them, but why would you want to inflict that?

FiftyShadesOfGreen4205 · 22/04/2014 16:18

Hmmm I don't judge my friends who have had abortions. It's not my life, not my body. I would hate to be in that position so I am sympathetic.

Stupid question to follow;

When people say they support abortion to term... how is this possible? If the foetus is removed from the mother and is able to breathe unaided, what's the alternative? Confused

GarlicAprilShowers · 22/04/2014 16:29

They stop it being able to breathe prior to delivery.

I should point out there's no evidence of this happening close to term, except in cases of severe foetal abnormality.

thebodydoestricks · 22/04/2014 16:35

fifty there were stats on late abortions posted up thread fromdawn

They were all for severe abnormalities.

The hysteria surrounding heavily pregnant women aborting in a whim is laughably ridiculous.

My stance however is a woman should have full autonomy over her body at all times, pregnant or not.

FiftyShadesOfGreen4205 · 22/04/2014 16:42

I don't think anyone who was well would do that on a whim. I just didn't understand the legality/biology of late term.

Dawndonnaagain · 22/04/2014 16:48

fifty
A late term abortion is currently available only for medical reasons. It is a philosophical question that some try to turn others into monsters for comprehending. Either you believe in a woman's right to autonomy over her own body or you don't. Obviously that would include an abortion being available to term. Funny, nobody has ever come across someone (not even someone who is ill) who would consider this, but the pro lifers get a tad frothy about it and call the rest of us murderers.

thebodydoestricks · 22/04/2014 16:52

Dawn exactly. Well put.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 22/04/2014 16:52

The NHS has quite a good summary of the legal position and the medical process.

sassysally · 22/04/2014 16:54

I am anti abortion in every circumstance except (1) where the mothers life is in jeopardy or (2) where the foetus has no chance of surviving
I would not fall out with anybody who didn't share my view though ,because I couldn't see how it would have any impact on our friendship.I would not see their beliefs were any of my business.
Just to address some points
It is nobody's business but the mother's' -so would it be ok for a single mother to kill her baby then? What is the difference?
What sort of life would the unwanted child have? over 98% of babies in the UK are completely normal and the demand for healthy babies far far outstrips the supply available for adoption.

plumchittering · 22/04/2014 16:59

The number of pregnancies terminated far outstrips the number of potential adoptive parents waiting for babies. And besides, a woman who is pregnant and does not want to be should not be forced to act as a human incubator to supply babies for adoption. Adoption has far reaching consequences for everyone involved.

basgetti · 22/04/2014 17:06

It is nobody's business but the mother's' -so would it be ok for a single mother to kill her baby then? What is the difference?

The difference is that baby is now born and not residing in and dependent on the body of another person.

itsbetterthanabox · 22/04/2014 17:27

I actually agree vist. When we have penetrative sex we are opening up ourselves to the risk of pregnancy and should be very aware of that.
However I don't think that should mean one can't have an abortion. Just because you know you may get pregnant does not mean you should have to stay pregnant if you do.

thebodydoestricks · 22/04/2014 17:39

would it be ok for a single mother to kill her baby then er no that would be murder.

Not sure why the mother has to be single here? Call the daily mail!

but surely to God it's not beyond any normal person to differentiate between a baby born and a baby in a woman's body.

thebodydoestricks · 22/04/2014 17:40

would it be ok for a single mother to kill her baby then er no that would be murder.

Not sure why the mother has to be single here? Call the daily mail!

but surely to God it's not beyond any normal person to differentiate between a baby born and a baby in a woman's body.

sassysally · 22/04/2014 17:50

the mother is only single because then their isn't a father's opinion to consider.
so basgetti/thebodydoestricks the key for you both is 'dependency' Surely a born baby is dependent too? It can't look after itself? What about people on dialysis or life support machines or dependent on carers?
And by your reckoning it is ok to kill a baby of the same gestation id it is within the mother's body but not ok if it is without?

basgetti · 22/04/2014 17:56

What have those other examples of dependency got to do with anything?They don't involve being dependent on someone else's body.

thebodydoestricks · 22/04/2014 17:57

My stance is very simple.

Womem have absolute autonomy over their bodies at all times pregnant or not.

The question of dependency clouds the issue. This is about a woman's right to choose what she does to her own body at all times.

The single mother question doesn't compute as a man cannot compel a pregnant partner to abort/birth. thankgod

fifi669 · 22/04/2014 17:58

Some are saying exactly that. That pro choice is termination up to anytime before birth. Others only within the time frame set by the law.

I think this is particularly emotive for me right now as I'm 28 weeks pregnant with my belly constantly going nuts. We had a 3d scan at 24 weeks. As we looked through the pictures it occurred to us that out son could legally have been aborted like that. To even think of it being an option at term is horrendous.

I do understand that most terminations are actually very early which is something to be thankful for.

MaidOfStars · 22/04/2014 18:04

I do understand that most terminations are actually very early which is something to be thankful for.

Why? Why is that something to be thankful for? Genuine question.

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