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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask those of you who are pro life?

999 replies

Anonynony · 21/04/2014 14:49

How do you feel about friends who have had abortions? Can you maintain friendships with people who have had an abortion and no regrets?

One of my friends has stunned me, talking about another friend of ours who had considered an abortion and my friend said I'm so glad she didn't because I wouldn't have been able to stay friends with her
I'm really surprised, I'm extremely pro choice and vocal about it but this doesn't bother my friend.
But what my friend doesn't know is that I also had an abortion and although I have no regrets I feel a bit strange around my friend now?

OP posts:

MaidOfStars · 22/04/2014 15:06

I think the right to life overrides anything else

Really? You should be compelled to sacrifice your right to bodily autonomy to preserve someone else's right to life?

fifi669 · 22/04/2014 15:09

No one is forced to raise a child they don't want. To make out that they'd have to is stupid. You can't afford to raise a child, put it up for adoption. I stated for medical reasons I agree with. It may damage your mental health though? Get a grip. Seriously.

I already posted up thread re:rape and child pregnancies.

MaidOfStars · 22/04/2014 15:11

You do have a choice over your own body. You can not get pregnant to start with! You make a life you should have to deal with the consequences. As I said earlier except for genuine medical reasons you should just take responsibility for your actions

And some people go to great length to avoid pregnancy. Unless you are saying that anyone who has sex should be punished for unintended outcomes?

FrigginRexManningDay · 22/04/2014 15:13

You do realise that if every social abortion chose adoption there would be orphanages packed to the gills with unwanted children and a massive welfare bill. There are not enough homes for all the unwanted pregnancies.

gordyslovesheep · 22/04/2014 15:13

it can damage your mental health if you have to come off medication - educate yourself a bit more hey?

no one is forced to raise a child they don;t want because they can have a safe, legal, termination - which is brilliant

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 22/04/2014 15:17

PND is a myth made up by baby-hating feminazis.

FACT.

FrigginRexManningDay · 22/04/2014 15:20

Thats true Ton thats why gps prescribe anti depressants and there are mother and baby mental health units. Keeping the myth alive.

fifi669 · 22/04/2014 15:24

It's better to 'punish' the mother than kill the child.
No idea what ton is on about....

thebodydoestricks · 22/04/2014 15:25

You know I always wonder who are the cruel smug sanctimonious bastardised who chant and bully womem and staff outside abortion clinics.

I think I now have an Insight.

twofingerstoGideon · 22/04/2014 15:26

Put it up for adoption
Wondered how long it would take before that was trotted out.
Because every child is adopted immediately
Because there's no such thing as children spending years (if not their entire childhoods) in care.
Because adoption doesn't raise other emotional issues for birth parent, adoptive parents or the child concerned...
have a read of this maybe?

It may damage your mental health though? Get a grip. Seriously.
Your compassion is non-existent, fifi.

basgetti · 22/04/2014 15:27

It's better to 'punish' the mother than kill the child.

Why? Why is the right to life of the fetus the be all and end all? Especially since you consider it acceptable to 'kill the child' in situations you deem worthy enough.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 22/04/2014 15:28

I can see that you don't have an idea about much Fifi so I won't take it personally.

FrigginRexManningDay · 22/04/2014 15:30

Not to mention that not all birth parent/s welcome contact from their given up child.

MaidOfStars · 22/04/2014 15:30

fifi

Last night I voluntarily had sexual intercourse with my husband. We used our regular form of barrier contraception.

What have I consented to? Do you somehow think I have consented to be pregnant? Is it implicit that I have consented to become pregnant because I voluntarily had sex? Does the fact that we took excellent measures to prevent a pregnancy occurring not demonstrate that any resultant pregnancy would be very much against my consent?

blackcats73 · 22/04/2014 15:37

Hmmm , these debates always get really nasty, some pro choices tend to get unreasonable and the anti abortionists silly and naive . personally I agree with termination for whatever reason up to 24 weeks( including sex of baby) but not after. I think there is an enormous difference between a 6 week old embryo which is just a bunch of cells and a fully formed fetus which can survive outside of the womb with or without medical help .

I know women who have had abortions, one has never had children and doesn't want them another didn't want any more.

I don't think any less of them, though the one without children lives the sort of life that wouldn't satisfy me.

fifi669 · 22/04/2014 15:43

If you did get pregnant, despite all your contraceptive efforts, did the man consent to you getting pregnant? No. But you then have the choice of what happens next. He has none.

I agreed to termination when the life of the mother was at risk or the baby had such a condition or disability that meant it was either incompatible with life or would have no quality of life. To me that's more akin to euthanasia.

If I'm not compassionate because I see the life of one more important than the want of another so be it. I'm really not bothered.

MaidOfStars · 22/04/2014 15:44

If you did get pregnant, despite all your contraceptive efforts, did the man consent to you getting pregnant? No. But you then have the choice of what happens next. He has none

What does this have to do with what I have consented to?

Did I consent to pregnancy?

Dawndonnaagain · 22/04/2014 15:45

Being abused by your parent is no reason to say abortion should be allowed. That's ridiculous. Do you wish you were dead?
I'm 55, so not so much now, but up until my twenties, oh so often. And I tried, oh so often. It isn't ridiculous at all, she should never have had children.

CaptChaos · 22/04/2014 15:47

Ah! Fifi is an MRA supporter/handmaiden.

Poor menz, and their woeful lack of choice and autonomy.

Dawndonnaagain · 22/04/2014 15:52

It may damage your mental health though? Get a grip. Seriously.
Really? You're a pleasant little darling aren't you?
Oh, and if you're not really bothered, why are you arguing it?

twofingerstoGideon · 22/04/2014 15:55

You said it, CaptChaos!

fifi669 · 22/04/2014 15:55

Mra?

I just think it's hypocritical for people on here to bleat on about guys knowing when they have sex there's a chance of pregnancy so they should face up to their responsibilities, whether by unsafe sex or contraceptive failure...... But for women they don't have to because their body their choice.

Fuckingforriner · 22/04/2014 15:57

I am pro life when it comes to my uterus and pro choice when it's another woman's uterus. We should all be thankful abortion is legal in this country.

MaidOfStars · 22/04/2014 15:57

fifi In the case outlined, did I consent to pregnancy?

basgetti · 22/04/2014 15:57

Of course women also have to face up to their responsibilities. They either go through a pregnancy or an abortion, both are intrusive and have risks.

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