To ask those of you who are pro life?

[Anonynony]

How do you feel about friends who have had abortions? Can you maintain friendships with people who have had an abortion and no regrets?

One of my friends has stunned me, talking about another friend of ours who had considered an abortion and my friend said I'm so glad she didn't because I wouldn't have been able to stay friends with her
I'm really surprised, I'm extremely pro choice and vocal about it but this doesn't bother my friend.
But what my friend doesn't know is that I also had an abortion and although I have no regrets I feel a bit strange around my friend now?

5madthings I presume you also don't respect anyone who doesn't believe a woman should have bodily autonomy when it comes to substance abuse in pregnancy, either.

As said, its an odd thing abortion because when does a fetus become 'viable'? The law says 24 weeks, but there have been cases of babies surviving being born before that. Then other people say it isn't 'viable' as in having rights of its own until its born. And then theres the different reasons a woman might have one, which are acceptable and which arn't?

Thats all a matter of personal opinion to me and thats why I would never comment on anyone I know's abortion to their face as it might upset them and it is their decision at the end of the day. Doesn't mean you can't have private negative, 'judgey' thoughts that differ depending on the persons circumstances and reasons for aborting. I would never consider it acceptable to air these thoughts to such people though, that would be insensitive, cruel and rude.

i thought the law was against it. Isn't it 24 weeks?

Yes, it is, some people would like that changed though. They think a woman should be able to abort a healthy pregnancy to term for any reason.

missymarmite no shame in being an unmarried/single mother? When I announced I was pregnant unmarried - but with the child of my boyfriend of 3 years - there was plenty of stigma to go around. I can't imagine what it would've been like if I was single too.

But 22honey many people don't keep their 'judgey' thoughts private. They intimidate and harass vulnerable women outside clinics, they start petitions against damaged individuals being used as fodder for the daily mail and they make laws to punish women, such as forcing them to have intrusive internal scans before allowing abortion or charging women who miscarry with manslaughter and murder if their behaviour in pregnancy is in any way 'questionable'. If being anti choice was simply about having your own personal feelings it wouldn't be an issue.

the only alternative though is forcing a woman to continue with a pregnancy that she doesn't want. tbh, neither of those situations are in any way ideal.

Well thankfully we have laws that recognise that the foetus has a right to life at a certain point regardless of whether or not it is 'wanted' - just as a child would.

basgetti the thread was merely about peoples opinions, not about forcing any barbaric laws onto anyone.

Moomin you must come from another planet to me as theres no stigma whatsoever to having a child outside of marriage round here, never known such a thing in my whole life (and I have a strong catholic family). Are you from an Asian religious culture? I am white working class in the NW just so you know, lol.

It's opinions like yours that lead to the barbaric laws though 22.

Sorry if that sounds rude or intrusive moomin Im just genuinely intrigued as a large majority of people I know never get married, they just partner up.

It only is if I took my opinions so seriously that I thought I had the right to dictate other people's lives and autonomy, I don't. So thats a bit of a red herring, people are entitled to their opinions without those opinions having to impact anyone else.

Nope, white atheist working class living in a MC area in Wales. No stigma where I live now, in a much more working class area, but back home I was written off as scrounging scum, a complete failure, blah blah blah. Very old fashioned, religious rural area - and it was my lack of wedding ring that raised even more eyebrows than my age.

'Raven, don't twist my words. I never said I wish to 'seek to legislate control over womens bodies', I stated if you believe in the woman having full choice over her body you must agree that means with regards to EVERYTHING'

Yes, 22honey, that is absolutely what I believe. Sorry I was too long-winded for you, but I really didn't twist your words that I can see.

there's definitely still stigma, imo. some people undoubtedly consider it more acceptable for some women to have babies than others.

Not intrusive at all, in an area like where I live now I've found that people don't even register whether there's a dad on the scene, much less whether you're married to him. but back home its the be-all and end-all, and I really struggled with the stigma.

It's not a red herring, you seem to be backtracking a bit now. Why not at least have the courage to own the views you've been spouting all evening and acknowledge the real damage that they do to women?

Ok Raven, well then clearly you can see that if someone has the right to privately get a bit judgy about someones smoking or drinking habits during pregnancy, they also have the right to get privately judgy about someone having a late term abortion of a healthy baby or someone aborting a baby because the parents may have to modify the materialistic side of their lifestyle a bit. Still doesnt mean they dont think they should have the choice to do such a thing.

basgetti, 22 has said she is pro-choice earlier in the thread. There are just some situations that she doesn't agree with.

basgetti, read what the thread is about. If it offends or upsets you leave it. I have a right to my opinion and its rude of you to try and deny that.

Bumbley being pro choice but there being some situations you don't agree with is a contradiction. 22honey I have a right to disagree with your opinions, not sure why that is being rude or denying you yours.

"Bumbley being pro choice but there being some situations you don't agree with is a contradiction."

I agree that it's a misnomer but there doesn't seem to be another term for people who support the idea of abortion - but not to term for any reason. Other pro-choice people on the thread seem to be happy enough with it. Can you think of an alternative? Partially-pro-choice maybe?

You can get privately & for that matter publically judgy all you like 22honey!

I wouldn't dream of telling you different. It's your opinion & you are completely & fully entitled to hold & express it.

'Still doesnt mean they dont think they should have the choice to do such a thing.'

I think we may be agreeing that there's a possible gulf between one's personal feelings & one's willingness to limit the rights of others?

I think you can be pro choice within the remit of the law, and pro choice in an ideological way that goes beyond what the law precribes. But I don't think anyone who uses words like vile, cold-hearted and disgusting to describe women who have abortions for specific reasons she disapproves of can ever be called pro choice.

whether or not you agree with abortion to term for any reason, what are the actual consequences of being made to continue an unwanted pregnancy? I must admit, the idea of aborting a healthy foetus at 37 weeks simply because someone has suddenly decided they have better things to do, does make me feel uncomfortable (though I am still sure this would hardly happen?), the next step is bringing an unwanted child into the world and then what?

Adoption probably Vampyre. It would be treated the same as any baby/child who was no longer wanted by its parents.