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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have let 5 year old dd take her top off at easter party because she was too hot?

80 replies

milkysmum · 20/04/2014 22:40

Just that really. Went to an easter party at local club this evening. The place was really warm and all the children red in the face from running around playing games. Ds age 2 became cranky with the heat and took his top off and was much happier. A few of the girls dd's age had taken their tops off but had vests on. Dd asked to take hers off but had no vest on. I was fine with this. My sister who I was out with thought this was really inappropriate but couldn't really explain why. Dd was happy. She cooled off and then put her top back on later on. So was I being unreasonable as my sister seems to think?

OP posts:
usualsuspectt · 20/04/2014 22:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TooOldForGlitter · 20/04/2014 22:43

A five year old! A barely out of being a baby five yo! Hell no, YANBU.

usualsuspectt · 20/04/2014 22:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LuisSuarezTeeth · 20/04/2014 22:43

YANBU.

Beyond me why anyone would think otherwise Confused

BleachedWhale · 20/04/2014 22:44

"Did you mean to be so ridiculous?" Would seem to be a suitable response to your sister.

BleachedWhale · 20/04/2014 22:45

Unless you are going to drip feed and tell us that your dd has a developmental condition, has gone through puberty early, is 5'4" and has a 36B bra size?

Original poster
milkysmum · 20/04/2014 22:45

Thank you. My sister's argument was she looked older than 5 and so looked 'wrong' somehow- I mean yes she looks 6 maybe but still!

OP posts:
TooOldForGlitter · 20/04/2014 22:46

I'd have thought it sweet that she was tearing around having fun and got hot and sweaty, nothing more.

Original poster
milkysmum · 20/04/2014 22:48

No drip feeding I promise! I did get the feeling other people there thought it a little odd she had her top off hence me feeling need to double check here! What kind of world is this when the sight of a 5 year old with no top on is inappropriate!

OP posts:
BleachedWhale · 20/04/2014 22:53

Tell your sister that she has another 5 years of freedom from pearl clutching over this particular non issue.

What is the matter with people ? Are we sliding back not some Victorian mentality? Have children (girls) become such little mini - mes and sexualised in adults minds that they cannot be children or adults cannot see them as children? I would have been furious with your sister.

TooOldForGlitter · 20/04/2014 22:55

BleachedWhale has said exactly what I'm thinking.

2blackcats2 · 20/04/2014 22:58

Nothing wrong with it!

With your sister, I don't know - some unresolved issue of her own? I have to admit I didn't like it when my mum used to out me in bikini pants and nothing else on the beach - even though I had nothing on top, I knew I 'should' keep my 'boobies' hidden - daft as I didn't have any! But this is totally different as it's your DDs own choice!

lottiegarbanzo · 20/04/2014 23:01

I played out topless in summer sometimes up to about age 8. Quite normal back then.

You do have to wonder what the people who mind are seeing - so have been thinking.

NobodyLivesHere · 20/04/2014 23:41

My dd is 6 and runs around the beach naked quite often. I dgaf who tuts

Nennypops · 20/04/2014 23:43

I can remember doing PE in just knickers up to the age of 9. That was in a hot country, of course.

namechangesforthehardstuff · 20/04/2014 23:45

Another YANBU. Just to top up the numbers before some moron turns up to tell you YABU :)

Gileswithachainsaw · 20/04/2014 23:46

I fail to see a problem. I've done similar stuff before. Who really cares? Confused

Your sister has some strange ideas

MrsKCastle · 20/04/2014 23:52

See, I think it was a bit unreasonable. NOT because little girls have anything to hide. I would think the same if it were your DS. I wouldn't like it because to my mind, you should teach DCs to dress appropriately for the occasion, and it wouldn't seem appropriate to me to go topless at a party- for girls or boys. Unless it were in a garden or at a beach or similar.

So I probably wouldn't let my DD do it. But I certainly wouldn't give you a Hmm look or anything, not an issue worth a second thought!

affafantoosh · 20/04/2014 23:56

It's been scorching here this weekend and my friend told her similarly-aged daughter off for taking off her T-shirt and just wearing a vest Hmm

Personally I find adults who get uptight about prepubescent children "exposing themselves" much weirder than prepubescent children being naked.

TruJay · 20/04/2014 23:58

I remember running round topless at a young age in the summer, never a big deal. Yet when i was about 7ish my mum, bro and I were on a peddle boat and i took off my t shirt and vest as too hot, not an issue at all but a group of older boys on the shore wolf-whistled at me, only joking of course but i got so embarrassed and quickly put my top back on, some people just find it weird but YWNU at all.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 21/04/2014 00:03

YANBU.

custardcream1000 · 21/04/2014 00:08

YANBU

I would rather my 5 year old child take their top off than over heat.

DrizzlyTuesday · 21/04/2014 00:17

YANBU at five years old why shouldn't she be able to take her top off when she's too hot. I wish I could in the weather there's been recently! A 5 year old is only a baby.

rustykoala · 21/04/2014 00:24

i remember taking my top of at that age and running around topless i was furious when i got to about 12 and hit puberty so couldn't anymore id still do it today if i could curse my bosom :D

Nunyabiz · 21/04/2014 00:36

I had a friend tell me after seeing a photo of Dd on the beach on my (private) Instagram account that she would never put up a photo of her little girl topless on the beach. DD was 2 Hmm
I don't see why boys get to run around topless and not girls? They all have the same thing up top until at least 8 or 9.

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