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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be embarrassed but to go anyway?

357 replies

harriet247 · 20/04/2014 21:30

Dps best friend from primary has distributed his wedding invites today. Silly me thought I was invited Blush dp and I have been together 2 years and have 1 yr old dd.
All the other girlfriends/fiances have been invited but im not on the invite,not even as a plus one :/
I understand obviously money may be a factor or they dont want children there but nothing has been said.
Its 5 hours away and in a big posh hotel, we were both looking forward ro our first night away, with dd staying with lovely gp's.
Im thinking of just going anyway, nice spa during the day then get dressed up and go and join in the evening do.
But part of me is worried that I would be kindof embarrassing myself and them too? I cant jelp but think they dont wnt me there for some reason butI dont know either of them very well so I'm positive they don't hate me etc..
Aibu to go anyway?

OP posts:
Bowlersarm · 24/04/2014 20:24

Any news, OP?

Purpletoes · 24/04/2014 20:44

Hope you get an answer soon. Are you checking out other nice hotels for you and DP? WinkWink

AlpacaYourThings · 24/04/2014 20:50

Any news, OP?

PlushSuppie · 24/04/2014 20:52

Oh dear, no news is bad news I fear.

LadyHarrietdeSpook · 24/04/2014 20:54

A couple with a baby, living together should be treated like a married couple and both invited. Mn is the only place I have ever heard of only one half of a married couple being invited though. I can understand a judgement call being made on couples who are short term or not living together (since it seems so very common to do so these days if you're at all serious.)

LadyHarrietdeSpook · 24/04/2014 20:55

That post makeshift sound 200

SweetsForMySweet · 24/04/2014 20:55

It's very rude to just turn up to an event when you have not been invited. Cringing at the idea of trying to force the couple into inviting you to THEIR wedding, will you not be totally scarlet turning up even if they do invite you now?

The fact that the op has not updated probably means one of two things; either the couple said yes and she's off getting her outfit sorted or the couple said no and she's sulking and too embarrassed to update

chocomochi · 24/04/2014 21:14

Marking place for update!

Chuckthefucklebrothers · 24/04/2014 21:15

....tumbleweed...

FreeWee · 24/04/2014 21:39

Marking place!!!!

NoTeaForMe · 24/04/2014 22:17

I keep checking, so thought if mark my place!

Waltermittythesequel · 24/04/2014 23:07

What is going on here?

Perhaps they've discovered the thread!

PenTheUltimate · 25/04/2014 13:17

Hows it going OP?

Only1scoop · 25/04/2014 13:17

Op please come bk Hmm

Greyhound · 25/04/2014 14:35

I had gatecrashers at my wedding and it was very irritating.

What happened was that an old school friend got in touch a few months before the wedding and basically invited herself. That was fine, I was fond of her but thought it a bit cheeky .

Just before the wedding, she asked if she could bring her boyfriend. I said ok - after all, she wouldn't really know anyone there. A few days later, she said she'd split up with the boyfriend and could she bring her sister?

Well, on the day, my friend turned up - with her sister, her sister's husband and her sister's child. They basically acted like freeloaders - knocking back the booze and even taken a couple of unopened bottles home with them!

Shocking behaviour and very rude. Haven't heard from any of them since.

Catsmamma · 25/04/2014 14:43

this is just outrageous that you have not been invited when you have a child with the invitee!

Unless of course you did something horizontal with the groom??

You need to take this snub and run with it...get married before them, at the same venue...hurry now and make the booking!!

UnderthePalms · 25/04/2014 14:44

As OP hasn't come back yet could we invent our own endings until she does?

Here's mine

OP - Hi, Sorry I've not been back to update, but the couple had a huge falling out about whether I could come or not and have called off the wedding!

RunLikeSomeFeckersChasing · 25/04/2014 15:22

Oh Harriet? Yoo-hoo!

Lanabelle · 25/04/2014 15:43

just ask, could be a mistake or an oversight. simple human error. Weddings are a pain in the ass to organise and sometimes you forget things/ people/ names etc. sure they wont mind you going to the evening do with your other half

ToAvoidConversation · 25/04/2014 16:06

Is it possible that the bride did the invites and simply doesn't know you exist? I've heard of that happening before! When the bride gets a mumbled answer from the groom about what pals to invite and just has to work out who is who?

We had an uninvited guest at our wedding because we only invited work people singly so it was just one big work table. Someone brought their partner but only to the evening do and it was totally fine.

Charlie97 · 25/04/2014 17:25

OP please come back and update us, I need closure on this Sad

mcdog · 25/04/2014 20:30

Please please come back Smile

TheHouseofMirth · 25/04/2014 22:03

Would it be very wrong to PM the OP?!

Raskova · 25/04/2014 22:06

Mirth, if you do you'll have to pm every one here so we know what happened too... Shock

TheHouseofMirth · 25/04/2014 22:08

I thought we could just PM her to ask her to update thread?