to be embarrassed but to go anyway?

[harriet247]

Dps best friend from primary has distributed his wedding invites today. Silly me thought I was invited dp and I have been together 2 years and have 1 yr old dd.
All the other girlfriends/fiances have been invited but im not on the invite,not even as a plus one :/
I understand obviously money may be a factor or they dont want children there but nothing has been said.
Its 5 hours away and in a big posh hotel, we were both looking forward ro our first night away, with dd staying with lovely gp's.
Im thinking of just going anyway, nice spa during the day then get dressed up and go and join in the evening do.
But part of me is worried that I would be kindof embarrassing myself and them too? I cant jelp but think they dont wnt me there for some reason butI dont know either of them very well so I'm positive they don't hate me etc..
Aibu to go anyway?

Hmm, if they haven't responded quickly I'd say that's not a good sign. Like they're now cringing trying to think how to say that you're really not invited.

Emmaroos, not only have you missed the whole tone of the thread. You also propose possibly the most passive aggressive solution ever! "Oh really? You'd like me to come to the evening do? I was planning movies in bed but it just so happens I have this silver lurex number here, under my onsie, just in case!"

Now that is embarrassing!

I hoped to read the OP had been made matron of honour

Any news? I have wondered all day and hoped it would be good news.

Harriet are we off to the nuptuals.... Well....the party ....

Any news OP?

V shocked your DP won't go unless your invited! How close are they now?

I would have invited you if it were me but in general weddings are so so expensive and sometimes people just draw a line at people they don't really know.

None of my bridesmaids had plus ones despite being with the bfs for some time (although granted may have been different if they lived together etc).

I would be quite sad if somebody didn't come because we couldn't afford for them to have a plus one.

Did you get a reply yet?

I had someone who was a friend of MIL's who had been on her own for years who brought an uninvited plus one!! & it was to the bloody sit down meal! There was no chair for him, no meal and no space ( marquee in a park - so we couldn't magically get a chair from anywhere) She still acted like it was my fault - I literally could have killed her for causing such embarrassment and hassle on what was supposed to be mine and dh's day.....

Also - when parents help with the cost, I can understand a tad more leeway with their friends not ours turning up, but DH and I paid for EVERYTHING. PIL's didn't contribute, or even get us a wedding present.

OP I can understand your wish for a lovely weekend away - but please don't turn up uninvited. It is the bride and groom's day - if you don't like their choices, don't turn up, but don't make their most special day together uncomfortable. It ruins memories.

Being a bride and groom doesn't give you a free pass for twatishness though!

What! Still no update?

walter agreed no free pass on twattishness, but as I can't stand embarrassing situations or confrontations I smiled graciously and gave him my daughter's chair - she sat on my lap, and gave him my meal so I don't think I acted like a twat.

I just thought it was a bit much for someone we'd never clapped eyes on in my life before to turn up uninvited to something as personal as our wedding.

Sheesh, c'mon

Send follow up text to say sorry don't want to pressure you but would be great if you could both go to ceremony & evening & skip meal if that works for them as you've sorted childcare already but if it's hassle, don't worry. We all know how stressful weddings can get!

Ooooooh hope you got a reply OP

Just marking place!

I had a similar thing last year, my cousin (who I was bm for) didn't invite my dp! All her other bms had dps who were invited.
He was invited in the end and all was well, but it did cause a lot of upset.

What was the reason for not inviting him in the first place Lj & how did you get it resolved?

Please update us!

Apparently we hadn't been together long enough (we had been together a year and lived together!) in all honesty she's lovely but very much friend focused and can be quite selfish at times.

Once she realised how upset I was and that she was actually being quite unreasonable he was invited and all was fine!

Glad that got sorted - hope the Op gets sorted too.

Maybe we'll never find out!

I couldn't face going to something where I hadn't been invited, I'd be mortified.

missing you weren't a twat at all!!

OP's friends are venti

Are venti?!

I don't even know what I was trying to say there!

I have no idea if they're venti, grande or what

missingwords we had two gatecrashers at our wedding - an old friend of DH's (who he had never mentioned to me prior to that day) and his girlfriend, who neither of us had met.

It turned out he had called one of the other guests while other guest was on the way to the reception from the ceremony to see if he fancied going out for a drink. Now most people would have said "Sorry, no can do, I'm at a wedding at the moment - perhaps tomorrow?"

But no, this chap says "I'm at a wedding - it's MrVlad's and I'm sure he'd love to see you. Here are the directions - if you hurry you'll be in time for the meal".

Thank God it was quite an informal affair, two more chairs could be found and there was enough food to go round - but it was damn awkward when someone said "Crasher1 and Crasher2 have arrived - can you find somewhere for them to sit?" and I had to disguise my complete bafflement. "Of course! Crasher1 and Crasher2! Who the hell are yo.. I mean, how was your journey?"

I found out about the other guest's involvement some time later. I don't think I would have been a bridezilla to have casually mentioned to him that telling the two people who were paying for the wedding that he'd decided to bring two additional people might have been helpful.

OP, did your DP speak to the couple?

no news yet????

.