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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be embarrassed but to go anyway?

357 replies

harriet247 · 20/04/2014 21:30

Dps best friend from primary has distributed his wedding invites today. Silly me thought I was invited Blush dp and I have been together 2 years and have 1 yr old dd.
All the other girlfriends/fiances have been invited but im not on the invite,not even as a plus one :/
I understand obviously money may be a factor or they dont want children there but nothing has been said.
Its 5 hours away and in a big posh hotel, we were both looking forward ro our first night away, with dd staying with lovely gp's.
Im thinking of just going anyway, nice spa during the day then get dressed up and go and join in the evening do.
But part of me is worried that I would be kindof embarrassing myself and them too? I cant jelp but think they dont wnt me there for some reason butI dont know either of them very well so I'm positive they don't hate me etc..
Aibu to go anyway?

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 20/04/2014 22:00

Op stop it....Grin

I'm howling....got visions of you standing on tip toe peering through the windows of the venue....gently tapping and salivating over the vol au vonts....dressed in your finery....

EatShitDerek · 20/04/2014 22:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GertBySea · 20/04/2014 22:01

It doesn't matter. You have to ask first.

Perhaps it's just a mistake and by asking you might score an invitation to the whole day.

SolidGoldBrass · 20/04/2014 22:03

You can't turn up where you're not invited. THey don't have to invite you. If you're too embarassed to get your H to ask them if you can come along, imagine how embarassing it would be if you turned up and they were assertive enough to tell you publicly that you are not invited and must go away.

NearTheWindymill · 20/04/2014 22:05

Well I think if you and dp have been together for two years and you have a child together, they have been exceptionally rude not to invite you as a couple. In those circumstances I don't think my dp would go. I think yours should take you away for a lovely weekend and spend the wedding present money on you.

You can't just turn up but you aren't unreasonable to feel hurt and slighted.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 20/04/2014 22:06

Get your DP to ask his mate about a plus one. He can emphasise how quiet and respectable you are Wink

LineRunner · 20/04/2014 22:09

I feel like getting married again just to make you my top guest.

Original poster
harriet247 · 20/04/2014 22:13

Ahaha ahh dp is a good egg and wouldn't go without me.

Considering disguises now, or walking about with tray of champayne before ripping off my uniform to reveal dazzling sparkly white mini dress and leading uncle john into the conga

OP posts:
Original poster
harriet247 · 20/04/2014 22:14

Thanks linerunner Cake I will do anything for vol au vents and prosecco.

OP posts:
LineRunner · 20/04/2014 22:15

In fact, will you give me away?

Only1scoop · 20/04/2014 22:16

Harriet I was about to suggest disguises....Grin

Catering staff....but watch you don't get snapped in between those trestle tables Confused

You might miss 'livin' on a prayer'....

MammaTJ · 20/04/2014 22:18

He needs to explain that you have child care organised. They have only not invited you because they assume you are doing child care!

Only1scoop · 20/04/2014 22:20

Actually Op....I've officially decided....

Top table seating for you....

No outer sprig

or just an evening invite....Shock

They should be honoured that you will be there....

Original poster
harriet247 · 20/04/2014 22:20

[Grin] I could take out the master of ceremonies and just march about announcing things very very loud! Wearing a moustache and possible ringmasters red coat!
Hand me some more straws ladies!

OP posts:
Original poster
harriet247 · 20/04/2014 22:22

Onescoop and linerunner havw earnt themselves a wedding guest. Ill even chip in for my wedding breakfast ala 'him and her'.

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 20/04/2014 22:22

Or arrive on an old Bike as a lucky chimney sweep....

Obs making sure you have that sparkly number on underneath....

EverythingCounts · 20/04/2014 22:26

If your DP is up for asking about it, then let him do it. They may realise that childcare isn't a problem. If not he can tell his mate that he won't be coming if it's just him who's invited and you can plan your own weekend away.

littlewhitebag · 20/04/2014 22:26

Why don't you pretend you didn't notice that only DP was invited and get DP to reply saying that DP and harriet247 are happy to join them at their wedding then see what they say?

Original poster
harriet247 · 20/04/2014 22:32

Littlebag that is soo cheeky I like it!

Onescoop-you are killing me!!! A lucky chimney sweep whos father was cruel, who danced alone in his attic bedroom to the music coming from his glamorous neighbours house. Ever since has been drawn to the music and bright lights of a wedding, dreaming to some day take to the dance floor and blossom into a beautiful flower to 'im horny'

OP posts:
TooOldForGlitter · 20/04/2014 22:34

You sound fun Grin but just get your husband to ask. If you are the only ones of the 'group' with kids then they may have assumed you'd be home with baby. Just get him to ring his pal and ask but don't just turn up!

Only1scoop · 20/04/2014 22:35
Grin

Little's idea is a good one I agree. I'd hope they'd just say "it's great that Harriet can come we didn't think she'd make it with dc etc"

Greensleeves · 20/04/2014 22:39

Put on a tattered old Miss Havisham-style wedding dress and turn up at the church weeping and moaning the groom's name

MomOfTwoGirls2 · 20/04/2014 22:43

DH and I invited to a wedding in May. It is on long weekend and about 3 hours away. We want to make it a mini family holiday with DDs. DH asked Groom if ok if we bring children to church and evening, and DH and I will skip the wedding meal. Groom ok'ed this proposal.

So have your DH talk to groom, and ask how they can include you. Maybe similar to what we have done??

Only1scoop · 20/04/2014 22:46

Heard about your wedding and it sounds a fine affair....

However I won't know that because I'm not invited there....

I only need a night invite for your happy day to share....

A vol au vent ....a twerk or two to...."livin' on a prayer"....Blush

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 20/04/2014 22:47

You could sneak into the church and when they do the "does anyone know of any reason...?"

Leap up and yell "you bastard how could you forget about me?" then run out in floods of mock tears.

That should give them a wedding to remember.