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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be embarrassed but to go anyway?

357 replies

harriet247 · 20/04/2014 21:30

Dps best friend from primary has distributed his wedding invites today. Silly me thought I was invited Blush dp and I have been together 2 years and have 1 yr old dd.
All the other girlfriends/fiances have been invited but im not on the invite,not even as a plus one :/
I understand obviously money may be a factor or they dont want children there but nothing has been said.
Its 5 hours away and in a big posh hotel, we were both looking forward ro our first night away, with dd staying with lovely gp's.
Im thinking of just going anyway, nice spa during the day then get dressed up and go and join in the evening do.
But part of me is worried that I would be kindof embarrassing myself and them too? I cant jelp but think they dont wnt me there for some reason butI dont know either of them very well so I'm positive they don't hate me etc..
Aibu to go anyway?

OP posts:
Original poster
harriet247 · 20/04/2014 22:59

Ahhhh my god I just choked on a cracker!
All good ideas.

I have tereible visions of me going dispite being clearly unreasonable, getting horribly drunk and telling them 'I doooonnnn effen givva sssshhhit that you didn nvite me, you guys. .. (sob) YOU guysss are gon make beautifulll baybiss better tha effen pince George! Gurrrrjuss gepprrge!... fffuck you both vomit wooooo I love thishhh shhooooong!'

OP posts:
Greensleeves · 20/04/2014 23:03

...or better still, get your grandma to do it!

namechangenumber5 · 20/04/2014 23:04

Op, can your dh skip out early and take you out for a nice evening?

NachoAddict · 20/04/2014 23:06

Haha hilarious.

Definitely get your dp to ask. Maybe they didn't wrote their own invites and it was some kind of over sight.

SolidGoldBrass · 21/04/2014 00:50

Either that or they've left out quite a few 'plus ones' on the grounds that they only really know one half of the couple and they are tight on numbers.

Monty27 · 21/04/2014 00:52

As them to set up a video conference stylee thing to your hotel room so you can join in. :)

CaffeinatedKitten · 21/04/2014 02:14

Skype-ing on a prayer?

Meloria · 21/04/2014 09:27

I hope this thread started as a joke. If you turn up uninvited you'll forever be known as that weirdo that came along without being asked. Maybe it'd not costs but numbers and fire restrictions.

Ask them or don't even try it. And read the invitation properly next time.

Kittymautz · 21/04/2014 11:00

Meloria - what do you mean by "read the invitation properly next time"?

The OP did read the invitation, that's why she's started this thread. Confused

Nerf · 21/04/2014 11:16

Get your dp to text his friend along the line of 'giving you a heads up for numbers, will reply properly, won't be coming to the wedding as can't really leave Harriet while I go off on a jolly!'
Then they might text to say its a mistake?

CantUnderstandNewtonsTheory · 21/04/2014 11:47

We accidentally didn't invite the partner of dh's friend to our wedding Blush it was a horrible mistake and luckily dh's friend called to check and all was resolved before the wedding! When we were writing the invitations we suddenly realised that neither of us knew how to spell her name (she has an indian name and neither of us had ever seen it written down) so we put their invitation to one side with just his name in meaning to text him and check the spelling of his dps name before sending it. I thought dh was doing it and he thought I was and somehow the invitation got mixed in with the pile ready to send and went out with just his name in. Luckily the friend called to ask why his dp wasn't invited and we realised with much horror and apologised profusely Blush and we all laughed about it.

Just a thought! Do you have an unusual or difficult to spell name? You know you can't just turn up but you can ask your dp to check there hasn't been a mistake.

Meloria · 21/04/2014 11:59

Alright then, don't assume you'll be invited to a wedding automatically until you receive the invitation and you're on it.

Maybe the couple don't know the op as well as other friends' partners, maybe they can't stand her, maybe there's no space for her - unless she asks and hears one of these reasons she'll just have to assume it was a mistake.

PurplePidjin · 21/04/2014 12:16

Love all the suggestions Grin

In seriousness, under these circumstances DP would call his buddy and gently point out that there must be some mistake as I wasn't mentioned on the invite. "Must be some kind of oversight, surely as they don't expect me to come without Pidj?" type thing

dreamingofwineandcheese · 21/04/2014 17:22

This has come up a few times recently, DH was invited to a wedding but I wasn't although originally the groom had said it would be both of us it then turned out to just be DH invited. We thought it was strange and DH ended up not going as it involved overnight stay and he said he couldn't justify spending the money on a night away for just himself and he didn't like I wasn't invited.

My SIL is also planning on doing this at her wedding, she has not invited two friends husbands as she didn't know them very well and didn't want to spend money on people she didn't know very well. Personally I think it's really rude asking people to come and celebrate your relationship while ignoring theirs? I think it's one of those things you have to accept when you are planning a wedding but each to their own I suppose!

Original poster
harriet247 · 21/04/2014 17:29

Hi again! meloria my wrist is well and truly slapped ;)
Only half joking.

Skyping (on a prayer) is a spectacular idea, I could join in the speeches that way too Grin in a sort of celebrity accepting an award in another country fashion.
Dp is going to text the groom this evening so I shall keep you all updated!

My name is a bit unusual outside of my family etc so im hoping that is the reason :/

OP posts:
Original poster
harriet247 · 21/04/2014 17:30

Hi again! meloria my wrist is well and truly slapped ;)
Only half joking.

Skyping (on a prayer) is a spectacular idea, I could join in the speeches that way too Grin in a sort of celebrity accepting an award in another country fashion.
Dp is going to text the groom this evening so I shall keep you all updated!

My name is a bit unusual outside of my family etc so im hoping that is the reason :/

OP posts:
ToomuchIsBackOnBootcamp · 21/04/2014 17:47

Is the bride or groom very close friends with any of your DPs exes? Perhaps they didn't want to offend a psychotic nutter of an ex by inviting the new partner (you) along? I've heard this before about weddings -and much worse but this is it the thread for those stories!

ToomuchIsBackOnBootcamp · 21/04/2014 17:47

Is it = isn't stoopid ipad fail

Only1scoop · 21/04/2014 18:05

Don't forget to update up Harriet....

Meanwhile .....get limbering up for the parrrdeeeee Grin

Pimpf · 21/04/2014 18:10

So has your dp had a word with his friend yet?

zeezeek · 21/04/2014 18:47

Loving the idea of Skype....would really cut the costs for those who insist on having a wedding on a Caribbean island and expecting everyone to find the money to get there!

Original poster
harriet247 · 21/04/2014 19:55

Waiting for the reply...... eek!

OP posts:
OldVikingDudeHidMyTubeSocks · 21/04/2014 20:02

I'm not posting on here in order for this thread to be on 'thread I'm on' at all...

TeaMakesItAllPossible · 21/04/2014 20:15
justtoomessy · 21/04/2014 20:19

I would go and enjoy the hotel spa and the break. Don't turn up uninvited though as I am sure once they realise you are at the hotel on your own they would invite you anyway xxx