To wonder where all the normal, single men are?

[Needsmorecake]

because, sure as hell, they are not within a 50 mile radius of me.

This comes off the back of being let down again. I was meant to have a date tomorrow, now i do not.

Lovely man, 40, deputy head of an ' outstanding school' Not only did he send me the most 'penisey' photo, where even in jogging bottoms his cock felt the need to make its presence known, but, after some internet reasearch, i found he had two facebook accounts, one of which he is only friends with very young, very naked, eastern women.

I cancelled the date, clearly he is nuts. However, this seems to be the case more often than not, and its so very very tiring.

Ive been single for 5.5 years, i dont want to remarry, but id just like someone, it seems so impossible.

Standson 'same old shit with a less attractive guy'

This is so true. on one of the few occasions where I went on a date with a guy I didnt think (from his photos) I'd find attractive but thought 'Oh I'll give him a chance he seems nice' he spent 2 hours telling racist and sexist jokes before I made my escape. When I politely sent him a thanks but no thanks text the next day, he replied saying he'd only seen me as a one-off fuck so I was no loss.

The more attractive ones are usually slightly more polite about it...

CatThief do these men actually exist?! Are you SURE you haven't made them up? I am 10 mins from Bluewater, and long ago gave up trying to meet anyone local to me (the last guy I dated lived an hour away in Sussex!)

Needsmore I haven't done OD and will never after reading your post. You mention that you have 'even dated short men'. Why are women so horrible about short guys? My first boyfriend of about 7 years was tall. I fancied my EXH for a number of reasons including the fact that he was tall. He was a complete wanker and being tall was never a consolation. I have since had two short guys over the last 15 years who were really good fun, kind and both AMAZING in bed. My sister's and friends have short husbands who are fantastic, great husbands and fathers and they are very content.

I am going to say something that will I will get flamed for, ducking down, but why are single women making such crazy choices. You mention you found yourself in the doggy position with someone you clearly didn't fancy, others have had dates that sound sound mental, dinner with his granny ffs!

I am single and have made a billion mistakes. I am quite happy with my life. I like being single and if I meet someone its is a bonus. I feel sorry for people who think they have to be in a relationship. I think they are too scared to try this world for themselves.

Maybe a different approach is needed. How about loving yourself, having a laugh, appreciating that life can be fantastic if you are single. Being happy might be a better way to attract a like minded person. You sound like a lovely person and look drop dead gorgeous, stop OD and get out and about and chat to guys who will think you are fabulous.

Same shit, uglier bloke, exactly. The guy I dated last year - the ugly lying gold-digger - was off PoF. I feel really bad for any other women who date him and I really wish I could put an alert on his profile warning them. Hopefully they will get a chance to look through his phone or Facebook messages or emails, then it wouldn't take them long to work it out.

The one I saw most recently was alright but screwed up over sex. I mean who emails a mother at their girlfriend's school they'd never met asking for a threesome??? Can you imagine how wrong that could have gone if it was the wrong mother??? Luckily she's very cool and just rang me immediately to tell me and I dumped him whilst still on the phone to her but she could have complained to the school or the police, could have told my ex husband who would have taken great pleasure using it against me as much as possible, she could have got really upset or scared or offended and it could have destroyed our friendship, I have to see her at the school gates for the next 10 years FFS! What tells these boys that that kind of behaviour is acceptable??? It has to be the porn industry. They are so used to seeing it they think it's normal.

I'm 6' tall and live in 4-5" heels. Everyone is short. Can you imagine me next to a 5'6 bloke?? It's ridiculous. I need a TALL man, and 6' is not TALL.

whitesugar. thanks and all.... i do love myself, i do get out and about, i do live my life, doing those things doesnt mean i dont miss a close relationship with someone that isnt my child. I miss closeness, sex, intimacy, support, mattering to someone. These things dont go away just because i think im great.

Also, you dont know you dont fancy someone really, till you meet them. You have to meet up to do this. You have to chat to them face to face, to do this, here in lies the problem. So many people are not honest, and you dont know till you learn more about them.

And yes, i have ' even dated short men' I dont find men of 5'6 all that attractive physically. HOWEVER, if they had a fab personality, im sure that would change, which is why ive met up with men.

I just feel so awkward next to a short man. I love being tall and when I'm with the girls it doesn't bother me, but with a man I feel like a big ole lumbering freak of nature and like everyone is laughing and commenting. I also feel like a trophy piece of meat with a short man. It just feels wrong. My last boyfriend was 6'8". I loved that. But it's such a small demographic who fit the "6'4 and over" criteria and of that small number of men their height seems to give them an added arrogance like they know they are at the top of their gene pool and superior so all women should be grateful for being in their presence because they all love him so much.

How patronising to assume that because you want to be in a relationship you don't love yourself, or haven't tried the world!

Getting out and about doesn't help you meet people. I did that for 2 years (when I refused to do internet dating as I was convinced the men who were on there were wasters...how right I was!) and I didn't meet one man in that time. I didn't have one kiss, one date even. I can get on with my life fine, but let's not pretend that's a way I (or anyone else) is ever likely to meet anyone!

On the short man point: I am 5' 6. My son's father - indeed most of my Exs, have been 5'7-8. However, I like wearing heels. Very high heels (5in or so). And I don't like men commenting that I make them feel inferior. Or asking me to wear flats. Hence why I prefer to date taller men. I don't rule out shorter ones, but heels are me, and they inevitably have an issue with that.

VelvetSpoon yes, honest they do! I am also 10 mins or so from Bluewater. which direction are you in?

Drop me a pm if you want to meet one of them and I will gladly sort it out.

Ah, velvet, go for it :)

I'm fairly short. I don't mind dating a short guy. Height doesn't bother me. Cocklodging does though.

I'm short - 5'3 - and I did let a guy down gently on match because he was shorter than me - he must have been TINY! That wasn't the only reason but I might have tried him if he hadn't been so short ...

Oh and in my experience every single guy on dating websites adds at least 2 inches to his height. It's bizarre.

Catthief I am the London side of Bluewater (Bexley borough).

Will pm you

Stands they lie about everything. They add height, add at least 2 levels to their job, add to their income, add to qualifications, level up on looks, shave off a bit from weight, forget one of the 3 kids they have, add at least £5k to the car they actually own and outright lie about previous relationship history. You can't trust anything they put on dating sites. I'm not bothering with them again.

Problem is there's nowhere else I go to meet anyone! I don't work, I don't go out anymore and I don't think meeting someone in a club is a great way to meet anyway, and unless they are a midwife, a single dad at a playgroup or at my daughter's school I really don't know how I'll meet anyone in the next 3 years.

A friend of mine manages to meet men all the time and has a constant string of dates and blokes after her. She has managed to meet a man just walking down the high street and within 24 hours of signing up to PoF she can set up 4 or 5 dates. She is absolutely stunning and eastern european and very VERY flirty - her profile photos are borderline soft poen. But these guys are all the same - arrogant users and losers. She gives a lot of men chances and sees through looks, and still ends up with total A-holes.

I dont know where you meet people if you dont do online dating.
People always say men will just come and talk to me, when i ask them how often it happens to them, they say never... i ask why they think it will suddenly be different for me, there is no neon sign above my head.

If i go out with friends, its unlikely a man is going to approach me while im eating or in the short walk from the restaurant to the taxi, its unlikley im going to be chatted up while im filling my pick and mix bag in the cinema.

I work, but not with anyone i could date, i go out with work people but again, never anywhere where anyone has even spoken to me. The last time a random man spoke to me was in waitrose on xmas eve where we had a small chat about reduced turkeys. He did not ask for my number...

Its very easy to pick up a date if you flash a bit of boob on a dating site, but, well, then you are just upping the chances of them not being interested in you for you, but rather for your boobs, and who wants that?

Honestly at this age I think it is work, if you work in a big company. It's the only way to get to know anyone enough to know they are worth dating. Unfortunately being a SAHM rules that out for now at least and even in a couple of years when I go back to work I'm not going to be out much as I'll have a baby to watch evenings and weekends! Also I may as well have a red cross painted on my door being pregnant at the moment but that is because I'm running out of time to wait for a decent partner to come along and refuse to miss my chance of more. Honestly I think I'm done for another 10-15 years or so. I don't want a replacement father to my kids and don't want him involved with them but they all seem to want to be and I don't have a lifestyle to be able to get out often enough to have a relationship. It'll be a once a month babysitter till midnight when I may get a sober snog in a club because I can't have a hangover at 6 am when DC wakes up!

To be honest I didn't have this experience at all. Not one single penis shot.

I met about a dozen men for a first date who were boring not my type. Two that I had brief relationship / flings with (6 weeks or so) and then my BF (been together a year)

I do agree with what you say about most men on these sites not exactly being catches. Whereas most of the single women I know are just great - smart, gorgeous, solvent, funny.

Please don't over estimate the chances of meeting someone at work. I guess maybe if you are younger. But if you are close to 40, at a relatively senior level as someone mentioned above, it is not easy to meet people at your work.

I work in the City and a lot of men are married and are looking for someone to cheat with. Combine that with the arrogance that the City breeds in some men and you are left with the wankers. I guess it boils down to the fact that the majority of good men are already taken.

Good thread, I shared this with friends who are all in this situation.

I'll happily do short, I'm 5.3 and will ditch the high heels.

Phil Mitchell, Eastenders, is my type, so other women's ugly is my turn on.

I want someone without hang ups, honest and no "-isms" , I don't care if they are less educated, intelligent etc, but we must have some shared interests, I wouldn't reject someone disabled.

I was chatting regularly to a man on my bus route. He asked for my number, I was hesitant, because, after all, I was being picked up on public transport.

I made the decision to go for it on the next meeting.

He sat by me, we talked, then a young woman, less than half our age, went to get off.

"She's dressed for attention, that's one nice ass",
Me-"perhaps she just likes what she chose to wear?"
Him, "oh you've got a nice ass, as well, you're proper attractive".

This I know, I own a mirror, but thought at in my 40's, I would start to attract men based on me. He had said other flattering things, but I want a man who sees woman as people, a want to be friends with my boyfriend.

He's off my list of possibilities, but I don't think what I am looking exists.

I love myself, my interests (which are varied), the people in it, but am missing a boyfriend.

I like having a drink, flirting, tipsy snogs, planning things as a couple, which is obviously different than with friends/family.

Typical, that women are told to change something about them, because that's the reason why they aren't finding a relationship, when they are citing real issues in the men that cross their path.

Perhaps I am to picky, but I don't think that it's just the good ones that are in relationships, I know a lot of women living with arseholes, or whose relationships ended as their children got older (and the women more confident), because their partners were showing signs of the behaviours described on here.

The worse ones are those with Mothers that take them back in and enable them, but it is still the Men to blame.

It doesn't sound like you're too picky birds. It's hardly asking for the moon on a stick to want a nice, normal man is it?

The disparity when you look at women on dating site and compare it to the men on the same site is really significant.

Women look nice and decent, people you want to be friends with. Many of the men just look run down and scary.

I have 3 single male friends, all in their 40s, intelligent, professional ( 2 are pretty tall ) who can't find partners. I'm not really sure why, but I'd vouch for them all as being nice people. 2 are in London, one in Brighton. If any of you lovely ladies are interested, pm me!

And BTW OP you are very gorgeous. If I were a single man I would be first in the queue. I don't know what's wrong with them all

Would love to know where the nice single men are hiding, I've been single for 14 years (give or take short lived relationships) I too have had the cock shots, the normal and then nutty, the arrogant, the players, the emotionally stunted...

I just want a nice man, who can hold a conversation, respect me and be kind