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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be so sick of all of these "mums work 24 hours a day and get no pay" comments

167 replies

sezamcgregor · 17/04/2014 09:52

Just had a link to this on my FB news feed:

www.okcfox.com/Story/25244962/job-applicants-for-worlds-toughest-job-get-a-big-shock

Having had the last 6 years filled with such posts and comments from parents that they are cook, cleaner, psychologist, nurse etc etc and get either £0 or £20.80 per week for their 24 hour a day work - I'm SO bored of it now.

Anybody else??

OP posts:
LoveWine · 17/04/2014 10:23

Being a mother is not a job.

LeBearPolar · 17/04/2014 10:26

YY to MidniteScribbler and fatlazymummy.

It's just what people DO when they become parents - it's life.

MexicanSpringtime · 17/04/2014 10:36

Totally agree Vampyre, I love all the "real martyrs" the ones that work outside the home and then do the work of a SAHM in their spare time. Ggrrr! Bet their houses are spotless too, but is that a life?

gymboywalton · 17/04/2014 10:38

the bit about being on your feet all day every day certainly isn't true judging by the number of us on here !Grin

ElseaStars · 17/04/2014 10:40

I'm a sahm until September when I will be looking for a "little job" (HmmThanks MIL). I can't stand this crap of hardest job in the world. I also hate the "proud full time mummy" job descriptions on Facebook.

SilverViking · 17/04/2014 10:42

I had to endure listening to a SAHM last week tell a group of parents (who just happened to all be working FT or PT) how lucky they were because she couldn't take a day off work like them, to be sick! She was particularly loud about one dad in the group who was on a second course of antibiotics for a chest infection, and who had taken a sick day because he also had V&D and didn't want to risk the 2 hour commute, or infect everyone in the office... Apparently man-flu is something she never suffers from and she just gets up and has to shake off any real illness, as she has to be at work every day. No amountof arguing was going to convince her otherwise!

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 17/04/2014 10:44

Mexican my house would probably be spotless if it was unoccupied all day!

I only work part time, so does DP (too poor for childcare) and tbh, some days I do a crap job of all of it!

andsmile · 17/04/2014 10:44

The parntal role is constantly bashed - I think things like this are started to counteract that feeling of being undervalued. I am currently a SAHP to a 2 yr old who is starting the tantrums etc just now. BUT I dont think it is the hardest job in the world. I think it is hard for its repetitiveness and lack of stimulation, it can be lonely and overwhelming - the constant am I getting it right?

In our society it has become 'just' at home with little ones. There seems to be an expectation that both parents should work. Single parents shoud work and are harangued to getting a job when it means silly childcare arrangements in the absence of close family.

But then parents are blamed for any ill's of societies youth yet we have ridiculous working hours which means many parents are constantly juggling.

mummywithsmiles25 · 17/04/2014 10:47

Stahm is the hardest job for me and i really meant that...it would be way easier too stack shelfs ..i do love it but it is hard.

andsmile · 17/04/2014 10:48

silverviking i can identify with that though. When I worked full time with a LO in nursery if I was ill I could go home and go to bed to sleep - I took a day off work.

If you are a SAHM you just cant do that it is a fact. Unless of course you have family nearby which some people don't.

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 17/04/2014 10:50

andsmile that's what I mean - obviously, sahps don't contribute to society by staying at home and no one owes them anything for it but as I said further up thread, there is a misconception among some people that being a sahp involves nothing more than chilling out and watching daytime tv for hours. I would give whoever is posting this crap on fb the benefit of the doubt because they may just have become fed up with dealing with that type of attitude.

Cupid5tunt · 17/04/2014 10:51

Mummywithsmiles you do have a very hard job on your hands. How've you been? You managed to get a break for a good sleep? How's your little darling doing?

WooWooOwl · 17/04/2014 10:57

I can't say I've seen many posts like this on FB, but there are similar comments on this site all the time.

It's as if people think they are doing the world a favour by reproducing and then looking after their own kids. It's ridiculous, and very irritating.

Parenting is hard, but actual difficult parenting issues happen whether or not you go out to work or SAH. Staying at home with your children is a luxury that many people can't afford, and while I get that childcare is expensive and means that some people can't afford to work - the logical conclusion there is that they couldn't afford to have children.

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 17/04/2014 10:59

WooWoo people without good job prospects should still be allowed to reproduce...

WooWooOwl · 17/04/2014 11:03

Why? Why does society owe people children that can't afford?

I actually agree that everyone has the right to have children, but they should take that financial and emotional responsibility on themselves and stop kidding themselves that they are doing something selfless and good for society by looking after their own children.

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 17/04/2014 11:04

are you including parents who do work but whose low wages mean they claim tax credits?

ikeaismylocal · 17/04/2014 11:05

It's not really a job, becoming a parent ( or not) is optional. I don't kid myself that I have children fir anyone elses benefit besides my own.

We are still pretty new parents, ds is just over a year, so far being a parent is lovely, the first 6 months ds slept all the time so I spent lots of time sitting in cafes with other mum. Now ds is a bit bigger we go to playgroups and playgrounds, we go and look at farm animals and spend afternoons spotting diggers and busses, he sleeps for 2 hours in the middle of the day so I get the chance to mumsnet.

I previously worked with kids, looking after 1 child of your own is considerably easier than trying to photograph families of multiple children with their dogs/cats/snakes/tarantulas and look calm and in control the entire time and make sure the family has a fun time and end up with stunning photos at the end of it!

mummywithsmiles25 · 17/04/2014 11:07

Shes doing ok , reflux is awful in the upside she did gain weight so the hourly feeds must be paying off.

i think patenting is apart of your life not a job. People choose to be parents they don't have to be.

i do think lone parents get way more stick for claiming benefits than stahm parents with a husband at work claiming tax credits which i think is unfair.

nannynewo · 17/04/2014 11:07

YANBU at all! I guess the video is meant to be a bit of fun. But it is such a lie! I don't know any mothers who don't get any rest!! Unless a child is sick, parents usually get a full nights sleep! When my brother was about 7/8 he would go downstairs put the tele on and make his own cereal. SAHP's who moan all the time annoy me, it is their choice to become a parent. Stop moaning about it!

SilverViking · 17/04/2014 11:10

andsmile,
I think you are right, that parents get bashed for staying at home, but they also get bashed for working and leaving their children. The saddest thing is that it is mostly other mothers who are the loudest bashers, because they h have taken one course of action then they feel others are doing it wrong.
It is simple, you need to be responsible for your family, do what is right for your family, and accept that what is right for others will be different!

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 17/04/2014 11:11

mummywithsmiles I think it's unfair too because no-one seems to stop and consider what those sahms - who rely on their husbands' incomes - would do in the event of separation.

WooWooOwl · 17/04/2014 11:12

I don't have a problem with working tax credits (except that they are necessary in the first place because of low wages) or with childcare tax credits because they enable people to support themselves at a temporarily expensive time in their lives.

But I do have a problem with people being SAHPs while claiming tax credits that basically allow them to have children they can't afford and don't support financially.

Being a parent is a choice that people can reasonably expect some support with, but it is not so important to society that people who can't afford it should basically be paid to have children and have the luxury of not working to look after them.

Laquitar · 17/04/2014 11:13

There was a thread here few days ago about commute to work. Some people spend 4-5 hours per day commuting on top of working 8plus hours and on top of having children.
Now if being at home is a 'job' at least it is a nice job with no commute!
As for cleaning, ok i dont like it but hoovering your living room when you like is not like geting up at 6am, dress your dcs, take them to cm or gps, run to bus station, take bus, clean a hospital or hotel, deal with employers, watch every minute and every detail, take another bus or train to go to another job, clean someone elses shit, been told off for being late 5min, etc etc.
I have read threads about people with hard jobs and hard commutes and imo it is insulting to compare emptying your diswasher with the job of a cleaner.

And i have been SAHM for 7 years. I loved it.

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 17/04/2014 11:13

nanny that 'stop moaning about it' part is really odd. There are a lot of posts on MN by women who are struggling with their kids and and talking about the negative aspects of parenting and they are nearly always - and quite rightly - responded to with kind advice and reassurance.

fromparistoberlin73 · 17/04/2014 11:13

sexist crap

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