To not want PIL to kiss DD on the mouth

[Balistapus]

I know some families do this, kissing children on the mouth, but I think it's wrong.

PIL came for a visit last week and when they left they both kissed DD, 8 months, on the mouth. I was too shocked to say anything, but feel very uncomfortable about it.

How/ when do I broach the subject with them?

The OP couldn't have accused them more clearly Grunt

Just because something is not illegal doesn't make it right to everyone.

Sexual is a very strong word, but I think kissing on the lips requires consent and that is something my daughter is too young to give.

OP if you feel so strongly then why don't you tell them?

If you feel your childs GP's are sexual predators then tell them so.

For Christ sake bleating about it on here is not going to change it.

Frankly I think you out for the argument.

why does kissing her on her lips require more consent than kissing anywhere else? if kissing is so bad surely you should stop her being kissed at all?

Wow, that is MENTAL.

A grandparent kissing a baby on the lips is commiting a sexual act?!

You have issues.

All of you who are telling me I'm wrong need to read natwebb's post again.

Just thought I used to love kissing my babies feet and toes.....In the OP eyes that means I have a foot fetish.

OK, OP, there's a bigger issue here. As I see it, you've a choice. If you think your child has been sexually assaulted, go to the police. Otherwise, have you considered psychosexual counselling?

OK, to spell it out for everyone who is telling me I'm wrong to say "She didn't say that" :-

Natwebb said "You consider your child's grandparents giving them a peck on the cheek 'a sexual act'?? Fucking hell! "

If the grandparents gave the child a peck on the cheek there wouldn't be an issue as far as the OP's concerned!

Ok Op. You need help and fast. You are pretty much accusing 90% of the posters on here of sexually abusing their children.

overide my protective instinct and watch someone commit what I consider to be a sexual act on my child

That is fucked up I repeat fucked up!

watch someone commit what I consider to be a sexual act on my child

I'm sorry you are having such thoughts. I think you should consider getting some help OP before you project these repulsive thoughts onto your children.

Can't believe what I'm reading I really can't.

FWIW I always kissed/was kissed on the lips by grandparents, my parents and brother as a child. My parents kiss my DD on the lips.

Why is everything so sexualised these days.

Is everyone who was agreeing with the op still agreeing now?

I am so insulted by your last post op as the mother who kisses her kids and as the child who was sexually abused and wished for a normal fucking peck on the lips like every other kid I knew.

Sorry, I meant peck on the lips not cheek. Still, fucking hell!

'I'm afraid that I am never, ever going to ' suck it up' and overide my protective instinct and watch someone commit what I consider to be a sexual act on my child.'

Your warped and weird ideas will do more harm to your daughter than a lovely kiss on the lips from her grandparents.

Seek help.

I honestly believe the OP is only out to goad and the sooner this thread is deleted the better.

'I'm afraid that I am never, ever going to ' suck it up' and overide my protective instinct and watch someone commit what I consider to be a sexual act on my child

Shot yourself in the foot with that op. your the one with issues

OP, given that you're set on your course of action, could I just urge you to take the line that you're worried about germs & have read about how unhygienic it is to kiss on the lips, or something like that, to spare your PIL's feelings.

Also, talking of kissing on the lips as intrinsically sexual, & then raising the issue of consent, is - to put it mildly - muddled thinking. Your DD may well decide she likes to kiss people on the lips - lots of toddlers do - so what will you do then? It's no good to say she's consented - if it's a sexual act, it would obviously be totally inappropriate for a toddler to consent to it.

So will you stop her? Tell her it's not allowed / not appropriate? I know this is an unpleasant line of thought but I'm just trying to work out the implications of what you're saying. As I said upthread, I get the yuck thing - I only kiss DH on the lips. And I hate anyone trying to force / instruct children to kiss adults when they don't want to. But your gut reaction is way beyond this & very extreme, & I'm not sure it will give a very healthy message to your DD when she's older.

It's also inconsistent, because you acknowledged yourself earlier that just because kissing on the lips is exclusively romantic/ sexual for you, that doesn't make it a romantic / sexual act for someone else (eg. PIL) who don't see it that way. Yet now you seem to be saying that it's objectively sexual, regardless of intent / context, to the point that you need to ban it on behalf of your DD.

Just thought I used to love kissing my babies feet and toes.....In the OP eyes that means I have a foot fetish.

FunnyBunnyFoot - where do you get that from? Where in the OP have you got that from - honestly????? I don't think OP said that at all - she is upset with kissing on the mouth. How do you get foot fetish?

Yuck. Adults kissing each other on the lips is sexual. Adults kissing children on the lips is gross.

OP, I don't think your reaction is extreme. Tell your PIL to stick to kissing DD on the cheeks.

YANBU

I'm absolutely with Gruntfuttock

I really think some people have seriously and erroneously overreacted with some comments posted, and have maybe read and misinterpreted posts, but not actually digested them.