27 year old Grandmother

[bongobaby]

Her 12 year old daughter has given birth last Sundayand the dad is 13. She fell pregnant in year 6 of primary school. They are totally in love and into each other and want to get married.
Why an earth would you want to be a grandmother at 27 with a daughter of 12 now a mother.

My 4 year old son was alone in his room with his female friend yesterday. He has been friends with her since toddlerhood, at what point do i tell him that only his male friends can play in his room? And what message does that send him about the risk he poses to women simply by being male?

mercibucket - that is so not a workable idea. If the girl wouldn't say who the father is are you proposing that every male within the vicinity is tested?

they usually lie (quite understandably)and say the father is a teenage boy. so,no crime committed. what if it isnt? tbh i think it should be assumed to be a crime (no consent possible under 13) until it is proven that the father is also under 13

Forced DNA tests? Seriously.

Im not even sure how you would work that.

Assume a crime, girl refuses to give a name- so who do you prosecute? you cant just test every male in a 30 mile radius.

My friend's older sister became pg at age 14 in the late 60s. Very middle class, professional family, Catholic. The sister was sent away until she had the baby, and then the baby was given up for adoption. The sister never forgave her parents, and has - as I understand it - spent a large part of her life mourning her loss and feeling utterly ashamed.

I can't help believing she would have had a much happier life if she'd been the daughter in this case, certainly if her parents had behaved like the gm in this case.

Which would be 'better'? No contest really.

it might not lead to a prosecution til later (although incest would show i think)

yes i am serious. a girl has been statutorily raped. the baby only needs a mouth swab. hardly desperately invasive.

all these stories of young love overlook the fact that sex under 13 is often forced, child abuse, paedophilia, incest

the police hardly ever do a thing about it. i know someone who had a baby at 14. father 28. police wont do dna as mother doesnt want to. he is a paedophile and should be arrested imo. but it never happens

could just run dna thro banks, then test nearest and dearest. ok, might not show a match, no big deal, at least an effort was made to rule out child sex abuse

I don't think you could force the named father to take a test though.

X-post - I don't think you could force "nearest and dearest" to take tests either, at least without other evidence!

that is what the police say about this 28 year old

how does that work??? the police need permission for fingerprints and dna off suspected criminals? i was genuinely shocked that they need to agree before police can take dna when suspected of a crime. is that even true or just an excuse?

There is no statutory rape in UK law. it doesnt matter how invasive a procedure is, the consent is the factor to be considered. If we start justifying doing things against people's will by how invasive they are we are heading back down a path i genuinely thought we were well on our way to closing. Quite disgusting actually. Women have fought for years to have the right to bodily autonomy.

honest question btw. i mean what usually happens with suspected rapists? do they just get to opt out if they dont want to do the test?

under 13 is statutory rape (or is it 13 and under?)

well, it isnt called that perhaps, but under 13 cannot give consent.
if you dont give consent it is
. . . .

think it is life sentence for that?

anyway, been linked to several times on here, will go and read it again

mercibucket - you do realise the father needs DNA testing as well and not just the baby?

yes. take for example the girl in the papers today.
raped repeatedly.
pregnant at 12 (?)
says it is local boy

2 years of repeated rapes later she reveals father is actually her older brother

all i would like to see is a bit more effing effort put into investigating who the father might be when the child is legally incapable of giving consent instead of all this crap about young love

much more likely to be young sex abuse

or take the example of people i know

father (age 28) is named on birth certificate

mother is 14

i call that child abuse

police call that 'we cant make him do a dna test'

wtf

No, under 13 cannot give consent. No disagreement with that. My issue is the idea of DNA testing young girls and babies against their will just to satisfy public insistence that police look to be making an effort. And when no man consents to a test either- what then? Pointless and traumatic for an already vulnerable and more than likely traumatised girl.

Seriously merci, listen to what you sre saying! A child who has been repeatedly raped for two years and you want the police to have the power to once again violate her right to bodily autonomy and her baby's to obtain her DNA that they can do nothing with!

better to leave her to more sexual abuse i expect

Lets just all surrender our DNA at birth and they can store it on database forever and a day.

halfway there already by now i expect

Yes, because that's what i said.

incest, apparently, shows up just on baby's dna, so might be a good place to start, although of course child sex abuse is not just carried out by blood relatives

separate issue - do you really think it is ok to be the named father of a child when you are 28 and the mother is 14 and for the police to refuse to press charges as he refuses a dna test? i am still v shocked they wont prosecute