27 year old Grandmother

[bongobaby]

Her 12 year old daughter has given birth last Sundayand the dad is 13. She fell pregnant in year 6 of primary school. They are totally in love and into each other and want to get married.
Why an earth would you want to be a grandmother at 27 with a daughter of 12 now a mother.

"Teen pregnancy is nothing to be proud of. Shameful actually."

See^^ victorian attitudes. Shameful indeed

Really are all teen pregnancies shameful?

What a ridiculous post.

TheDoctrine excellent and glad you posted that.

Coffee don't think anyone on the thread mentioned proud? The whole debate was how to prevent pregnancy in teens.

However I hope you don't think my 19 year old pregnant neice should be ashamed she is of course married. Does that make a difference?

Shame was reserved for the girl of course in the past not the boy.

Horrible times.

Reminds me of the catholic shame of stealing babies from young girls and making them do their washing.

Vile vile vile.

Pregnancy at any age is nothing to be proud of. It isnt an achievement. (obv fertility treatment and long time spent ttc is something to celebrate)

Teen pregnancy is not shameful. Nor is teen sex which i think was what coffee really meant. Sex isnt shameful. It might be a bad decision at a particular point in your life but there is nothing shameful about having consentual sex.

I'm sure the grandmother didn't want to be a grandmother at 27. Sometimes situations are less than perfect. I try not to be too judgmental. Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.

I think it is different if you are married or in a steady relationship. people are more open about sex and contraception is more reliable and available so why so many teen pregnancies? lack of aspiration possibly.

it doesn't happen so readily in other cultures in GB it seems.

in 20th century Ireland you probably couldn't come by it easily and the church seemed to control peoples' lives.

And the minute you are smug about your parenting they bite your arse!

Plane loads of Irish women are forced to come here for abortions.

Now that is shameful.

I think what LaQueen really meant when she referred to teen pregnancy being shameful was anyone under the age of 16.

That wasnt laqueen it was coffeeaddict. And even under 16 isnt shameful. It's not great but definitely not shameful. Thats a really old notion that people need to let go of.

I agree lack of aspirations plays a part in some teen pregnancies. Definitely not all. The economy as it is and the Govt handling of it will add to an increase in teen pregnancies.

Noo! Sorry!! I meant coffeetea NOT coffeeaddict. Sorry addict if you are here.

"The data showed that hospital deliveries for teenage mothers have been falling since 2007 – the earliest year reported in the statistical release. There were 42,671 hospital deliveries to teenage mothers in England in 2007/8, which had reduced steadily to 30,794 by 2012/13, the latest figures."
"The number of deliveries taking place in NHS hospitals has increased by 0.3% since 2011-12 to 671,255 per year"

So less than 5% of birth are to 13-19 year olds (hospital deliveries, but assume there's close correlation with all births)

YoureBeingASillyBilly

I would say it was very shameful. For starters its illegal to have sex under the age of sixteen. Breaking the law is hardly something to be proud of, is it?

I think it is bad under 16 because it is below the age of consent. also there are theories of cervical cancer or abnormalities being more prevalent in those who are sexually active at a younger age and more partners increase risk,

Two 15 year olds having consentual sex? Nope nothing to be ashamed of at all.

LMGTFY

The Sexual Offences Act 2003 introduced a new series of laws to protect children under 16 from sexual abuse. However, the law is not intended to prosecute mutually agreed teenage sexual activity between two young people of a similar age, unless it involves abuse or exploitation.

Read more at www.fpa.org.uk/factsheets/law-on-sex#XSPRlc0Mh41ffsJt.99

still too young imo. what's the rush.

Yes it is shameful. Why are they having sex when they're not adults. Engaging in an adult act when they are still so young.
Not having sex at 15/16 or younger will not be detrimental. Having a child however and throwing away so much is.

Alemci im not sure how much of the thread you have read, it is very long now i know, but none here are advocating a lowering of the age of consent. 15 might seem too young for you but not for others who had sex at 15. And just because they are younget than you think appropriate doemst mean they rushed. They just did it when it felt right for them.

But why shameful, rather than saddening, worrying, potentially damaging etc?

Its not shameful. Tune in. This isnt 1950's ireland.

Did 1950's Ireland have Europe's highest teenage pregnancy rate also. If not, that era will do for me.

"Jeez, no wonder we have the highest rate of teenage pregnancy in Europe."

Well, possibly? I do think we have become far too accepting and tolerant of teenage pregnancy in the UK. It's now treated with little more than a shrug and a bit of tutting.

Have French and Spanish friends, and there seems to be much more censure towards teen pregnancy and an attitude of 'What a bleddy stupid, stupid thing to do, you idiot'"

What a load of utter nonsense. Please stop making ridiculous sweeping statements about things you know nothing about. It's annoying and pointless.

Let's unravel this shit comment shall we?

How many teenaged parents do you know? How many of those had parents who shrugged and tutted in response to finding out that their child had become pregnant?

Your French and Spanish friends have been raised in a predominantly catholic society - of COURSE there's more "shame" to be doled out. Nice, BTW, really nice.

Finally - please explain the difference between a shrug and a tut and a "oh you bloody idiot!" I get the feeling you held back on what you really wanted to say there LaQueen.

Oh yes, abject misery is far better than education

Have you heard of the Magdalene laundries? Inhuman.