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AIBU?

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Original poster

27 year old Grandmother

665 replies

bongobaby · 16/04/2014 13:02

Her 12 year old daughter has given birth last Sundayand the dad is 13. She fell pregnant in year 6 of primary school. They are totally in love and into each other and want to get married.
Why an earth would you want to be a grandmother at 27 with a daughter of 12 now a mother.

OP posts:
UriGeller · 16/04/2014 13:18

I guess they'll pull together and make it work. Like families do. Good luck and health to them.

AnyaKnowIt · 16/04/2014 13:19

And what about the boys parents?

Im guessing that the grandmother didn't become a young mother all by herself?

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 16/04/2014 13:19

Well if my child became a parent at 12 i sure as hell wiuld e right behind them too! They stand a far better chance of being a good parent if they have good support networks. Or would you rather this grandmother washed her hands of her 12 year old? Hmm

Cupid5tunt · 16/04/2014 13:19

So what? My boyfriend was at my house all the time when I was that age. We weren't at that age doing anything but we easily could have been.

They might be right behind her because she is facing a really tough reality. She is going to need their support. It's not ideal, far from it but it happens. Watch your pearls don't choke you!

SpringBreaker · 16/04/2014 13:19

A child having a child is wrong.

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 16/04/2014 13:20

Poorbuthappy- do you think the grandmother told the daughter to go get pregnant?

CoffeeTea103 · 16/04/2014 13:20

Mumblechum you seem to be misguided yourself. Are you really saying that you would rather have your 12 year old being pregnant?Hmm

It's definitely not ok in the first place for her to be having sex at 12 years. Children do not 'need' to be doing this.

poorbuthappy · 16/04/2014 13:20

I didn't say they should throw her out or abandon her did I?
I questioned her ability to parent her child. And when an 11 year girl is pregnant I will fucking judge.

poorbuthappy · 16/04/2014 13:21

No, I don't think I said that either.

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 16/04/2014 13:21

By the way- you dont know what might happen to get your 11 year old in a situation where they become pregnant.

AnyaKnowIt · 16/04/2014 13:21

Do you judge the boys parents?

AntiDistinctlyMinty · 16/04/2014 13:23

No but wouldn't you think the grandmother to be maybe could have done something more to guide her daughter into not getting pregnant at 11?

A girl at my ballet school (mid-1990's) got pregnant at twelve, gave birth at thirteen. Her mother didn't have the contraceptives talk with her because it never occurred to her that her 12 year old would be having sex. She did, however, stand firmly behind her daughter and give her as much support (emotional or otherwise) as humanly possible. Did that make her a bad mother? Did it bollocks.

HandragsNGladbags · 16/04/2014 13:23

Anya beat me too it.

What about the girl's father? What about the boy's parents? Who was telling him about responsibility and birth control?

And I would support my dd if she found herself in such a difficult position at a young age, regardless of what I thought privately I would support her publically to the hilt. No one else will.

Wantsunshine · 16/04/2014 13:23

The now grandmother is obviously a very poor mother herself and has failed her own daughter allowing her to be in a relationship from age 11. Hopefully the cycle will not go on.

AntiDistinctlyMinty · 16/04/2014 13:23

Ok - lots of x-posts. Apparently I type really slowly...

poorbuthappy · 16/04/2014 13:23

Go on enlighten me.
In which situation would my 11 year be able to get pregnant.

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 16/04/2014 13:24

Exactly handrags. What other choice is there but to support your child in that situation? I dont know what people expect this mother to do if not to fully support her daughter.

Owllady · 16/04/2014 13:24

I have a 12 yr old (and a 14 yo) and I just can't imagine the 12yr old would be capable yet tbh

It's a shame for them. Obviously it has happened and there is a new life and the family will love it but it's still a shame

Cupid5tunt · 16/04/2014 13:25

So what should they have done? This young girl hid her pregnancy from her parents or at the very least didn't know until last month(?).

Of course all the parents involved should support her and her boyfriend and their baby. They are going to need it.

What else would you expect them to do?

passmethewineplease · 16/04/2014 13:25

Where has she said she wants to be a grandmother at 27?

I hope that family gets all the support it needs, no good saying it shouldn't have happened, it already has and now there is a baby as well as the child to look after.

Do you also judge the boys parents, or is just the girls mum you're judging?

NurseyWursey · 16/04/2014 13:26

They only found out 4 weeks before birth apparently (the grandparents)

How could they not see the signs :(

Owllady · 16/04/2014 13:26

I imagine the grandmother will end up picking up most of the slack :(

AnyaKnowIt · 16/04/2014 13:27

The boys parents have failed for letting him have a sexual relationship with an 11th year old girl

passmethewineplease · 16/04/2014 13:27

Where has she said she wants to be a grandmother at 27?

I hope that family gets all the support it needs, no good saying it shouldn't have happened, it already has and now there is a baby as well as the child to look after.

Do you also judge the boys parents, or is just the girls mum you're judging?

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 16/04/2014 13:27

Oh let me think, sexual abuse, rape, curious exploration with a friend, or se may even decide she has a boyfriend she loves enough to sneak out of the house, skip school and run off with to have sex. I'm sure you'll think "that wont happen to me" ... Like many others thought.