to ask what things you have been judged for?

[manicinsomniac]

Yes, it's a thread about a thread (thing I can be judged for number 1!) but I feel so bad about my looooong and horrendous list of things I judge that I feel the need to punish myself and see what I have been judged over. Some of the things I posted I even do so judging myself as well as other people doing it for me! Anyone else?

So far, for me, it's:

1. Ugg boots (they're so comfortable )
2. Shop bought cakes (not as nice but such a time saver!)
3. Drinking in pubs and ignoring my kids running around (they're having fun I think!)
4. Driving too fast/too slowly/tailgating/middle lane driving (don't do any of these regularly but have been guilty of them all)
5. Adults who like boybands/Disney (some of the songs are catchy!)
6. Little girls wearing makeup (my children are in competitive dance/gym)
7. saying 'boys will be boys' to justify my stupid sexist opinions
8. Judgey people (never openly but so much privately)
9. Looking in other people's trolleys
10. Food shopping with the whole family (single parent)
11. Not following through with threatened sanctions
12. People who stick with their religion despite its atrocities (I can't turn my belief on and off like a tap)
13. People who are late (not often but it happens)
14. Affected incompetence
15. People who leave their washing on the line overnight
16. People who swear around children
17. People who swear
18. hypocrites
19. People who use the word kids
20. Drivers who cannot parallel park
21. People who drive a walkable distance without good reason
22. People who make no attempt to breastfeed
23. People who are actively religious
24. Women with two functioning hands who can't change a plug
25. Babies and toddlers being farmed out to nursery
26. People who say scone to rhyme with gone
27. People who don't teach their children to swim
28. People who swear on mumsnet
29. Adults who don't like a whole range of foods and pull faces like children
30. Boarding school (I work in one)
31. teachers who can't spell or use grammar properly (I'm very good at both but I'm not perfect)
32. People who drive to the gym (it is 10 miles away though!)
33. Taking cocaine (not anymore but within my older children's lifetimes)
34. People who don't like Jeremy Kyle or Real Housewives
35. Filthy nailed people (they need cleaning (badly!) every night, I really don't know how it happens)

Phew, I think I've been judged slightly more than I've judged. Feel slightly better!

uselessidiot

I don't know if I can explain how to not give a fuck. I'm 45 now, and it's developed over the years. I have partial hearing loss, and had seriously low self esteem when younger because I'd struggle to hear stuff and always worried that I'd make a fool of myself by dropping into a convo about something completely different.

After I had the children, it was like I suddenly got a new perspective over what was really important. I don't make a fool of myself, I do seem to have quite a bit of respect coming my way and people do like me.

And on mentioning children, I've just remembered someone judging me for having an elective CS with DD, my eldest. I did get the comment about being too posh to push, so I quickly responded with "No, just trying to make sure I didn't die, actually". I was developing pre-eclampsia, with blood pressure too high to risk being induced.

uselessidiot

have a big bearhug from me.
I'm sorry you feel you are not able to brush off shit comments easily and that they affect you badly.

I'm not sure how to help you, but you can PM me if you want to talk.

uselessidiot, please change your name. I guarantee you are not a useless idiot!

• Going back to work when DD was 4 months (I was main breadwinner)
• My High School
• Getting together with my DH (my family didn't approve, though that all changed after he died)
• My Uni
• DD getting a phone aged 9
• Working 40+ a week
• Working on a different job while on mat leave (it was couple of taxi shifts at my DH company ffs)
• Living in a certain town in NZ for 15 years
• Having a c-section
• Sending DD to a private school
• Being 'rich' (we were comfortable)
• Not having my DD christened

shockers
I almost said that, but wasn't brave enough - thanks for saying it!

I give my toddler fruit shoots and sausage rolls from greggs.
i smoke.
i have purple hair
i sound posh, because I am.
I have no money.
being posh but broke
I didn't find a sling for my velcro baby helpful.
I didn't do sleep training, I just waited until dd felt happy enough to go to sleep on her own
I use disposables

The main two have been:

Sounding posh-a major one until I left Newcastle when I was 18. Yes you can be a Geordie and not have a broad accent, but if you don't a lot of Geordies will ridicule you and accuse you of not being a proper Geordie. The stupid thing is I'm not particularly posh- where I live now I'm very much the bottom of the heap.

As an adult it's because of Ds1's behaviour. Not so much when he was younger, but now he's 12 and 5 ft 6 and he still has major tantrums in public-he has asd. Why the open mouthed gawpers can't realise that most 12 yrolds don't do this and he has special needs I don't know-it's obvious isn't it? I have got a lot better with my hard stare/raised eyebrow, but find verbal criticism hard to take.

Crikey! some people are actually dickheads!!! blaming and judging people because they got raped ffs!

Any way my list :-

• being pagan (means I'm cooked in the head because I pretend to fly around on my sweeping brush apparently)
• dying my hair a lot, (its not fell out yet and its original colour is so boring)
• putting stickers on my car ( again original was boring)
• not having a tidy house ( apparently not having ocd is frowned upon??? but having ocd is also frowned upon???? surely a no win???)
• I knit and crochet and started at 28 !! apparently this makes me old fashioned, until a friend wants some booties/hat/blanket made for them!
• I put my foot in my mouth all the time, it is a massive flaw and I really don't mean to, I just don't think a lot of the time! which is why I like the internet because I can sensor most things that I'm about to type that could be deemed innapropriate or insensitive.

I'm sure I have plenty more but I can see this being one of those threads where people post but don't read the thread.

oh and being a bad mother for ds1 having ADHD! funny the other 2 are fine???

I have a tv in dds bedroom......... and they have full package virgin tv!

Swearing alot
Going to church mass after having a screaming match with dd1 in car
Shopping in Asda
Leaving my buckets out days after they have been emptied
Washing left on line overnite
Being judgy after being nice to their faces (you dont know my dh friends)
Having a 'picnic for dinner' (after my stint of 6 nightshifts)
Smoking, smoking and smoking out kitching window after seeing that horrendoys smoking advert

Reading this it strikes me how many contradictory judgings take place..

-rich/poor
-sleep training/ not sleep training

• WOHM/ SAHM
• going to church/ not going to church
• having one child/ having lots of children/ having no children

It seems the one thing that almost everyone has been judged for (me included) is leaving washing out on the line overnight. I have yet to work out what these people who get judgy about that do instead - tumble-dry everything? I could get judgy about electricity usage if they really want me to