AIBU to take offence at being called a slut for parking in the paremt and child bit at Tesco?

[Anypants]

I am a parent. With a child. So it was reasonable to park in the designated area for us types. Man and, I assume, his mother pull up in a pick up to park in bay next to me. I asked if he had a child with him and he said it was none of my business. I said he probably shouldn't have parked there. He said 'who are you?'. I shrugged and left it. He then says 'you know what your problem is? You're a slut'.

I went a bit mental at him and may have called him a 'silly little bastard' and 'how dare you'. They wandered off then came back and said they were calling the police and reporting me for assault.

I was this close to hitting him, and I am not a violent person. I spoke to the lady who explained that they were picking up his son and that he suffered from depression. Oh that's alright then. I said there was no need for him to call me a slut and she apologised.

Who knows - if the police come round, what do I do?

How does people parking in P&C affect you going to the beach with your daughter?

FanjoForTheMammaries how do you know that it doesn't affect me badly?

I just choose to ignore it.

He did tell me to mind my own business at which I did. It wasn't confrontational as I simply asked him a question when he looked at me and said 'what?'. I didn't shout at him to begin with. He was the one to continue the conversation once he'd gotten out of the truck with the now well known insult of 'Slut'. What kind of society is that a person shouldn't be able to speak to another if they suspect they are doing wrong? If said person has nothing to hide, no harm no foul. If they are doing wrong, then maybe the other person has done the right thing. If we all only ever do something because it directly benefits us then the world will become a very selfish place. I admit I was wrong to shout back at him and kudos to all who called me on it. I have learned a very valuable lesson but as I shouldn't talk to anyone from now on (apparently) i'll keep it to myself.

Fanjo said Real outrage is that we can never get a disabled space at beach as tossers going to gym who have no blue badge park in them

Which bit don't you understand?

Sorry, I didn't read that bit, I obviously missed it. However, I asked a question, I didn't insinuate anything as I suspected that fanjo's child might have a disability and need accessible parking.
I have also posted my experience of parking in disabled bays with my child who has a blue badge and I have had people like the OP accuse me of misusing the spaces (despite obvious badge). I have had to go home sometimes due to not being able to find suitable disabled parking, but I still don't go around picking arguments with people in P&C spaces who I ASSUME have no right to be parking there.

Yes as compared to someone parking in a P & C space when we already have one. A mild annoyance.

Well I guess you will learn to mind your business next time!

Depression doesn't stop you walking into a store. They shouldn't have been parked there, and there is no excuse - EVER - for calling a woman a slut. It's a form of misogynistic abuse.

I think I would probably not have confronted them about it, but they were definitely in the wrong.

Yes he was 100% in the wrong.

I think you have to pick your battles OP.

Not victim blaming but there was little.to gain from confronting him and always a chance it will end badly

Fanjo - I agree. Everyone's got problems without me making them worse!

The thing is, when someone who doesn't need to parks in a parent parking space, or disabled space, they aren't going to be nice & sweet when confronted.

Better off just walking away, op!

You are not unreasonable to not like being called a slut, but then he is not being unreasonable to take offence to you calling him a silly little bastard.

Did you apologise for calling him names, when you got an apology?

You lose the moral high ground when you retaliate as equally vile, to be honest

Any..that wasnt really my thinking.

More likely that anyone who parks inconsiderately is quite likely to be an arsehole and arent going to see the light or thank you for pointing out what they have done.

Erm... you do realize the situation wouldn't have escalated to this extent if you hadn't stuck your nose in in the first place?! Pick your battles, OP. No one likes a martyr.

How did he park inconsiderately if he was collecting a child?

I think he called you a slut because he considered your parking to be untidy and slovenly.
Indulging in some gentle ribbing? That is the old meaning of slut after all..

He was most likely a well-educated student of Medieval English don't you think?

I did apologise madcat as I don't normally behave like that. Although it was to his Mother, not him, as he had walked off.

And yes Fanjo - sorry, I know what you meant.

Salmo - splendid. I was ever so slightly wonky in the space. Perhaps he was correct.

You were a bit unwise to confront him in the first place, as you don't know how people will react, and he was obviously wrong to call you that, but what on earth was this..?

"I went a bit mental at him and may have called him a 'silly little bastard' and 'how dare you'."

And "I was this close to hitting him"

Seriously? Surely the obvious reaction to someone calling you names in the way he did is to laugh at his ridiculous childishness and walk away? Not lower yourself below his level. I'm genuinely astonished.

It might have 'ended badly' if she would have hit him.

Considering he had every right to park there too.

Good grief - do you lot take everything so literally? I have no mental health issues therefore my 'going mental' was raising my voice. 'This close to hitting him' was as in very angry. I didn't hit him. I simplified my actions as I couldn't be bothered to write it down verbatim.

You all need to get over this. My world is obviously different from yours and I prefer it.

Roffle at 'you need to get over it'

Well, I mean, I originally posted yesterday afternoon and got told straight away how unreasonable i'd been. Tenfold. And it's still going on. Do people have so little in their RL that they have to chuck in their opinion, even if it's the same as everyone else's and the question has been more than thoroughly answered? Oh, no, wait - that's the point of MN. My bad.

I'm astounded people seem to be saying the op deserved the response. The word slut has many nuances the most disturbing is a lewd reference to a woman's sexual habits.

Also it wasn't the crime of the century for the op to ask the guy if he had a child, why was he so aggressive and vile in his response? He should have said mind your own business and walked off. Yes she's not the police and yes in an ideal world she should have kept quiet but I guess she was ticked off enough to question him. The problem with The british especially the English is their being too reserved all the time. They're willing for people to abuse customer services and laws,rules. They will come online forums and rant about it, but never be proactive.

I think op was brave to speak up but not wise as a lone woman. Once he had replied you should have left it at that, but you probed further ,he felt provoked and then he provoked op in return. I don't think op needs anger management, talk about being over the top.? People get angry it's a human emotion if someone called me a slut I wouldn't take it lightly either it's absolutely filthy, why should she "tolerate" it would anyone tell a guy to tolerate lewd language I doubt it.

also people saying she shouldn't have sworn in front of her child, granted she shouldn't have, but was it any better that man calling op a "slut" in front of a child he could clearly see? He had no moral qualms there, why do we expect the woman to automatically be more virtuous above the guy in this situation? Was it acceptable for him to use the language in front of the elderly woman who was possibly his mother or in law? I see double standards here.

but op better keep safe next time don't bother hopefully if they have no child they get fined sooner or later. I don't see why supermarkets don't keep wardens round make a few buck from it, instead of threatening fines and not carrying them out.

Christ on a bike.
This is still boring on. Are we all bored of school helliday already?
If people are being an arse over parent & tod spaces go tell the staff in store. Let the offender call Sainsbugs a slut instead.
Gavel.