AIBU to take offence at being called a slut for parking in the paremt and child bit at Tesco?

[Anypants]

I am a parent. With a child. So it was reasonable to park in the designated area for us types. Man and, I assume, his mother pull up in a pick up to park in bay next to me. I asked if he had a child with him and he said it was none of my business. I said he probably shouldn't have parked there. He said 'who are you?'. I shrugged and left it. He then says 'you know what your problem is? You're a slut'.

I went a bit mental at him and may have called him a 'silly little bastard' and 'how dare you'. They wandered off then came back and said they were calling the police and reporting me for assault.

I was this close to hitting him, and I am not a violent person. I spoke to the lady who explained that they were picking up his son and that he suffered from depression. Oh that's alright then. I said there was no need for him to call me a slut and she apologised.

Who knows - if the police come round, what do I do?

Hilarious.

OP - this is where MN is nothing like the real world. On MN, anyone who dares to think that P&C places are for, you know, parents with children is entitled, up-their-own-arse etc etc, and no-one will agree with you.

In the real world, no-one would think anything of you challenging someone without DC for parking in a P&C place. You would only be a knob if they had a blue badge.

Sounds horrible. There's nothing they can do. Onwards and upwards.

River you do realise that not everyone with a disability has a blue badge?

No River. I'm pretty sure that most people think that those taking these spaces without proper reason are gits, but don't expect people to condone a reciprocal insult hurling session in front of a child. It's annoying, but it's not the OP's business to interrogate other shoppers.

You both sound as bad as each other.

As is usual on these carpark threads.

Do you "go mental" and swear at people a lot? You sound utterly charming.

No, RiverTam. If I were in a carpark and some woman was "going mental" and swearing at people, I'd give her a wide berth and tut under my breath about Jeremy Kyle fodder. Whilst feeling sorry for her children, obviously.

Well he was rude but you were a busy body.

I wouldn't dream of oarkingbin a disabled spot but if my back is bad I will park as near as possible to the store.

"In the real world, no-one would think anything of you challenging someone without DC for parking in a P&C place."

Yes they would. They'd think you were a bit of a loudmouth and a dick and give you a wideberth. Well I would.

You probably should have run him over for calling you a slut, but YABU to lecture other people when you don't know the circumstances. As it turns out he was ok to park there so if you had mentioned it to staff it would have been settled without all that.

How can you be reported for assault if you didn't do anything?

Though am intrigued as to why the police might come round. Did you actually hit him or something?

You had your space. There wasn't anyone waiting for a P&c space when these people pulled in to one so on who's behalf were you getting so enraged?

You had a fight that was completely pointless.

Tesco will have cctv so that should prove you didn't assault him, he probably won't have called them anyway though. You should have kept out of it to start with, he sounds like a nasty cunt but you kind of lowered yourself to his level by shouting abuse back.

Isn't swearing at someone classed as an assault? I admit it's been a while since A Level Law but I'm sure it is. Assault is technically just words - when you hit someone it becomes battery. But people will often (incorrectly I think) use assault to mean the physical contact part.

But in that case wouldn't he have assaulted her first by calling her a slut?

I hate had people like the OP come raging at me telling me that I shouldn't be parking in a disabled bay and that I am stopping genuine disabled people from using it. Usually they are saying this without checking and noticing that:
A. There is a valid disabled badge displayed in my window.
B. I am about to get my disabled child out of the car. It they cannot see him because I have privacy glass on my vehicle.

I always feel like telling people to fuck off and mind their own business.

The OP mentioned something along the lines of she was so angry she almost hit him.

Maybe the CCTV would show just how righteous and irate she was?

It's an odd little exchange for sure.

"You probably shouldn't park there"
"Who are you?"
Silence
"You're a slut"

I pose the hypothesis m'lud that the "silence" probably, er, wasn't.

Just to clarify - said arguement was not in front of DC. In car and out of sight.

Thanks for clearing that all up for me. And whoever it was used the 'c' word is no better than I am.

Another good reason for moving the P & C spaces away from the entrances. As long as there is a safe walkway to the store it should be no problem and then 'illegals' won't see the benefit of parking there. In fact, I don't see why all peripheral parking isn't wide bays. This would really benefit non-badgees who need the doors wide open to get in and out.

Lol at 'may' have called him a silly bastard! You either did or you didn't!

I wouldn't have said anything as I didn't know their circumstances.

I had a friend who had a disabled badge due to severe asthma and being unable to walk very long distances.

She was often shouted at by busybodies because she wasn't in a wheelchair and didn't show any visible sign of a disability.

But if we never challenged people who might be being selfish how is it fair on people who act with consideration? I hate the idea that I give a thought to others/ the rules (whatever the circumstance) requires and others act with impunity - it gets tiring.

Why couldn't he just briefly say ' actually I'm picking a child up' why be angry at being asked? I tend to find people who blow up ASAP know they are in the wrong having said that not worth trading insults over ( in front of your kid?)

I'm pretty sure that most people think that those taking these spaces without proper reason are gits

Fraid not, Uncle T. I've been on threads on here where people are gleeful about the fact that they park in P&C just because they can, or because they want to piss people off.

There are fucking idiots everywhere. Even on MN!

OP If this isn't a wind-up YABU, as was he.

He was an arsehole to call you a slut but what was with the interrogation? Seriously!

P&C spaces are just one of those things that you should let yourself be wound up by because nobody adheres to the 'rule' about them.

YWBU. You had a parking space. He did not call you a slut for parking in a P&C space as your title implies. He was out of order to call you a slut but you seem to be confused as to what happened, ie, you aggravated someone and they responded in a predictable, if unpleasant manner.

ACatCalledColin yes, A+. Assault is putting someone in fear of being hit, battery is the actual hitting.

Although calling someone a slut in a car park is more likely to be charged as a public order offence (causing harassment alarm or distress.)

I can't believe everyone thinks it's the OP who was BU. It should be possible to have less-than-positive interactions with people (including challenging them on queue jumping, parking in P&C spaces, or other antisocial behaviour) without getting misogynist abuse. I sometimes ask people to take their feet off the bus seats or not to phlegm all over the street, that's not being interfering, it's part of living in society.

Would she have BU if he'd given her racist or homophobic abuse, or is it just rampant sexism we're expected to put up with?

*shouldn't let yourself be wound up by, obviously!