To feel offended at midwife making comments about my weight?

[lill72]

So, I went for my first midwife appointment today. This is my second child.

I am ten weeks and extremely miserable with nausea and severe hunger all the time. I hate food at the moment, though I have to eat all the time. I eat as healthily as I possibly can, but I have been eating a lot and have put on a bit of weight already.

I was always in a normal weight range, but have struggled to get rid of a bit of weight from my last pregnancy, plus now have put on a little weight.

When the (male) midwife took my weight, it was above normal so he went into this whole questioning of why I might be like this and things he has to say about i should be eating healthy food and not eating for two. Ah yes, obviously buddy.

But try telling a pregnant, starving nauseous woman this!!!!!!!! I was just not in the mood to hear this and feel it was rather insensitive to say this. I now they have to say this stuff, but now he has made me super paranoid about my weight and now I feel bad when I eat - which is all time at the moment. I cannot wait for this period of severe starvation to be over - I dread eating.

What do you think?

Coconut milk is extremely fattening, leave that out of your smoothie if you are worried about your weight

Coconut milk is better than the junk though and contains the good fats

Newgoldheelsrocjk, you really have no fucking idea if you think it's a case of mind over matter and just putting your baby first. Women like me have no choice. Things like McD, coke, Mars bars etc are sometimes literally, and I mean literally, all that out bodies will allow to stay inside.

I couldn't even keep small sips of water down until 8mths. Even trying had me violently retching.

Come back with your sanctimonious bullshit when you've seen the heartbreak of women going through terminating a much longed for pregnancy, often on doctors advice, because their bodies simply cannot take any more.

Dreamer,
...or sometimes it's the only thing keeping you and baby alive!

I had horrible ms with DC1 - not in HG territory, but miserable to 18wo. There was a long period when I could only eat a very limited range of foods.

I guess I was lucky that those were pears, carrots, cheese, and wholewheat pasta.

*to 18w pg, not 18wo.

my twins were 2 on Friday. They are happy, healthy, chatty two year old despite being grown on crisps and Mars bars in utero. I couldn't eat anything healthy, at all. and I wasn't as bad as you Nancy though at worst was sick 10-15 times a day. For all bar 7 weeks of my pregnancy.

It's perfectly normal and they say these things because it is important to educate pregnant women about healthy eating.

I had a BMI of 41 with my second child, every midwife appointment was about informing me about the importance on healthy eating. They sent me to a dietician and made me do food plans for weeks.

It didn't bother me, they are doing it to make sure that baby has the best possible start and that you keep your body healthy by eating the right thing.

I had a perfectly healthy baby and I welcomed the additional advice to make sure of that :)

If they really understood healthy eating that is and not the food pyramid that has carbs as important to our health. Healthy eating means different things to each of us. I don't follow the advice of anyone. I know my body and I know what's best for it. I'm an individual not a sheep.

Just came back from taking DD to a swimming lesson. Got a smoothie on the way, then had lunch with DD afterwards - a fresh juice and falafal wrap. Then went to the park where we shared an icecream, played in park for a while started to feel faint so went and got a drink and snack, then went to get a water and felt faint in the shop, so got myself home as quickly as I could.

Not saying the guy shouldnt do his job, but honestly before you tell me not to eat for two, maybe see how I am feeling at the moment and what I am eating. There is no way I could not eat with the regularity that I am eating at the moment as I start to feel disoriented, faint and dizzy. I can't concentrate and feel weak.

I would never normally eat this amount but at the moment I have to eat very regularly.

Lucky I am educated and have learned to take what midwives say with a grain of salt. I think the advice given to me was well meaning but misguided and not tailored to my situation. Cannot wait til this hunger subsides.

So much ignorance about severe sickness being spouted!

I had it. I had it badly.

With my first I couldn't leave my bed, and lived off complan (sp) for 4 months.

There is no choice when it comes to food if you suffer with it

Anything will do.

All I know is that I saw so many more fat women with babies in buggies these days that it is right for something to be done about educating women about healthy eating during pregnancy. Fat people are becoming the norm rather than the exception. It is a shame!

Is there something more healthy than ice cream, juice or smoothie you could have, those are all full of sugar. Can you take out healthy snacks with you?

Especially having all three of those in one mornin, could you limit the sugar rush to once per day?

I have to agree Timetoask

Also, I'm regularly stunned by the amount of threads on MN where people say they gained 2/3/4 stone during a pregnancy.

But in the OP's case, it doesn't sound as though there's much she can do about it right now.

Completely agree with you op. What good did that midwife's little lecture do you? A big FAT zilch.

Am laughing at the way so many posters decided you must be obsese from your op. Silly people.

Not that I have any wish to converse with someone who tells me to fuck off but...

It doesn't always go away does it? It didn't all go away for the OP who says she was still carrying weight from her previous pregnancy.

It doesn't always go away for the thousands of posters in the weight loss topic, some of whom steadily gained from one pregnancy to another.

This is why midwives are often concerned about weight gain during pregnancy....

Yes Cold I'm talking about fat...not the baby/placenta etc.

Is there any need for that language?

yanbu op I doubt a few pounds will make any difference either way they should use common sense. If you are actually obese then it's different.

I was normal bmi in both my pregnancies but I was about most of my booking in appointment the second time. I got the giggles when the student midwife told me to not have more than one cup of tea a day

I am sorry you feel unwell. However I do think the midwife is right in raising the issue of weight gain with you. If he didn't I would feel he wasn't doing his job properly. We all know how excess weight has an effect on the body and pregnancy is a good time to face this and put it right. If you were to face any complications in this pregnancy then weight gain will definitely make things worse.

You can sort this out for sure.