to think the morbidly obese woman at work should stop telling people they are losing too much weight?

[Waterfalls1]

There is a woman at work who is seriously morbidly obese. She is trying to lose weight. She has managed 1/2 stone since January. There are quite a few people at work who want to lose weight and have started to go running together. 3 of them have lost a significant amount of weight and now fall into the normal BMI.

We have a staff kitchen and sitting area and she has been talking to the people who have lost weight one by one and advising them not to lose any more weight and that they didn't need to lose any weight anyway.

Another guy has done the fasting diet and lost a amazing 4 stone. She has told him it is seriously unhealthy and he will get brain damage.

AIBU to think she should just shut up and focus on herself?

Thank you.

Even if she was stick thin,she would be very unreasonable. Weight is a personal matter and if you aren't specifically asked about it, you don't talk about it to that person, surely?

If they are now at a healthy BMI then she's right.
As for shutting up and focusing on herself - here

Reported-must try harder op.

I agree brokenhearted. There's a group of women that sit behind me at work about and all they talk about is food, calories and their weight. It's just constant. So boring it makes me want to scream.

Agree with you, it sounds like she is the last person to be advising others on maintaining a healthy weight. It sounds like she doesn't like the fact that others are managing to do what she struggles with, so is trying to undermine their efforts.
Somebody said she is right to lose weight slowly, yes that's correct but that means 1-2 lbs a week, possibly more for somebody morbidly obese, 1/2 a stone in 3 months is hardly anything.

Ok fair enough maybe her weight is irrelevant here, but I don't get why she is dishing out bad advice, the people who have lost the weight have done it via healthy eating and running. She shouldn't be telling people they didn't need to lose it anyway when they did. And now their BMIs are normal she is saying they have they have gone too far

She has a word with me too and my BMI is normal

Also reported.

at Lafatrivata

Reported for posting about a real situation at work? Really come on!

I wish everyone would stop talking about their weight and eating habits at work

I agree, this has been such a common topic in different places I have worked. Sometimes people comment a lot on each others lunches and snacks

Perhaps she is feeling sensitive because she isn't losing weight as quickly as she wants and is insecure. Have you tried encouraging her?

I've had people comment to me that I don't need to lose weight when I've refused a piece of cake, etc. I do because my BMI is right at the top of the normal range for my height having increased quite a bit over the last year. We tend to compare ourselves to others when we shouldn't.

When you are bigger, slimmer people seem almost too slim! It's all about perception

Good point latara I think the is a condition called body dysmorphic disorder that describes this

Sorry but that is tripe.

Perhaps she is feeling sensitive because she isn't losing weight as quickly as she wants and is insecure. Have you tried encouraging her?

I think you have hit the nail on the head. I have tried encouraging her. She asked me not to bring her any sweets or chocolates to her desk when it is somoenes birthday. I have bought her cherries as a snack so she doesnt feel left out when there is lots of cakes and biscuits around.

She has attended a course on nutrition so does know have the correct knowledge but it seems to come out all wrong when she is advising someone

I remember when I was young and lost 4 stone, a few people were always telling ,e "oo dont lose any more, thats enough". It was, however, my slim friends who commented the most.

This is really difficult. I and several of my colkeagues are trying to lise weight/eat more healthily. One is very very overweight. She has lost 3 stone which is a fabulous achievement. The rest of us have lost 1 - 2 stone. I need to lose a bit more.

It really irks me when she questions my eating choices. More so than if my slim friends do. I realise iabvvvvvu with this but can't seem to stop it! (I don't show it btw)

Agree with you, it sounds like she is the last person to be advising others on maintaining a healthy weight. It sounds like she doesn't like the fact that others are managing to do what she struggles with, so is trying to undermine their efforts

I think it makes her feel unhappy that others have been successful around her. But they were not obese, so obviously they didn't have as much to lose. It is a shame she is undermining them, she has gone very quiet with the people who congratulate the people who have lost weight. They have done over a few months and with a lot of exercise

I remember when I was young and lost 4 stone, a few people were always telling ,e "oo dont lose any more, thats enough". It was, however, my slim friends who commented the most

Sometimes cleofatra slim friends don't want you to get slimmer than them

People don't like it when others succeed, it puts pressure on them to also succeed.

I have recently started cycling seriously and all my slim, fit friends are encouraging whilst all my overweight sedentary friends are scathing ....

Why in god's name are people reporting this thread???

Hi all,

Thanks for your reports about this thread, we'll take a look into things now.

In the mean time can we please remind you of our talk guidelines?

How many people have reported this thread and on what basis?

Is it because I mentioned the woman in question is morbidly obese?