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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let my ten year old wear 2 inch heels to the school disco?

166 replies

AwfulMaureen · 02/04/2014 13:08

She's desperate to wear them...she's only got them because she needed a pair with heels in a show she did recently and I got her a cheap pair...they're the kind with straps.

She's had a bad time recently and suffered a knock in her confidence as well as the upheaval of moving house. She would wear them with plain jeans and a t shirt....is that oK or will all the other Mothers be cursing me?

I don't allow my DDs to wear any really grown up clothing at all....the heels are a sort of cuban heel really....but definitely a little bit grown up looking.

OP posts:
shallweshop · 02/04/2014 14:05

Dammitsue - very high stilettos are designed to have that effect, not a very modest, 2 inch Cuban heel! To say it looks disgusting and creepy is a bit harsh!

dammitsue · 02/04/2014 14:09

Why not give her an ecig too? No harm, she'll look so grown up bless her!

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 02/04/2014 14:10

is a school disco she is going to, not some paedophile convention.

typedup · 02/04/2014 14:11

Y2 and around town, I would hitch up my judgey pants. Y6 and a disco, absolutely fine, if as you say she can dance in them.

GoblinLittleOwl · 02/04/2014 14:11

She is ten years old; she should not be wearing two inch heels full stop, and particularly not to the school disco.

TruffleOil · 02/04/2014 14:11

I would normally be saying NO to this, I'm a bit of a prude.

But, if your daughter has taken a knock lately and this lifts her spirits, I'd say why not.

I suspect the other mothers will judge, though.

TruffleOil · 02/04/2014 14:12

dammitsue you're coming across a bit dogmatic here. OP is clearly not a pageant mother.

EvaBeaversProtege · 02/04/2014 14:14

Let her!! It's only a disco! Her shoes will be perfect!

OneOfOurLilkasIsMissing · 02/04/2014 14:15

If she can dance in them, I really don't see the problem. I certainly wouldn't judge, in fact I'd have let my kids wear heels to a disco at 10 as long as they could move properly in them. I hope she has a great time and feels pretty and confident in them Smile

almondcake · 02/04/2014 14:18

So at ten, my DD moved from a one inch heel for grade two ballet to the controversial cuban heel of this thread for grade three.

Is wearing this shoe to dance in really growing up too fast, disgusting, awful, pushing your bum out etc?

Here is a picture of some girls wearing the shoe of controversy...

www.virginiaparkinson.com/images/grades_3_5_character.jpg

dammitsue · 02/04/2014 14:18

Yes, as long as she feels pretty. Her worth as a female is based on nothing less, so better start her off young.

BumPotato · 02/04/2014 14:21

Let her wear them if she chooses to, can walk in them and they don't give her blisters.

My DD who is nine has some Hannah Montana ones (classy) for very occasional wear.

TruffleOil · 02/04/2014 14:23

almondcake, those girls! So cute. Little vixens. Wink

facedontfit · 02/04/2014 14:23

Yes, let her wear them, it will make her happy and give her a boost. Who cares what anyone else thinks.

meditrina · 02/04/2014 14:25

Reusing shoes to aleady own, such as bridesmaids or dance shoes, is sensible.

Experimenting with how you look is normal. How a parent talks to daughters about the meaning and role of appearance in society is important. An experiment with an already-owned pair of dancing shoes for one disco is not going to set a stereotype or critically undermine the formation of a wider view of the impact of voluntary aspects of appearance.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 02/04/2014 14:25

I think anyone who thinks letting a 10 year old wear heels is disgusting needs to unclench their arse.

Seriously, dressing up boxes are full of plastic fluffy heels........

There is plenty more disgusting than that.

Freezepop · 02/04/2014 14:26

I really don't see the harm I help at my dc's disco and some of the 9, 10, 11 year olds were in small heels. None of them looked chavvy.

LadyVetinari · 02/04/2014 14:29

From what you've said, it sounds like she'll be safe in them and they'll make her happy. They don't sound inappropriate for her age in this context - at least half of the girls at my (very naice) school wore them to school discos at that age, including me, in the late 90s.

The only thing I'd be concerned about is the risk of her accidentally standing on other children's toes with the heels, as girls often wore open-toed sandals and boys generally used to take their shoes off to skid on the wooden floor at our school discos. If she's mature enough to be mindful of that risk all evening, I can't see any other issues.

FauxFox · 02/04/2014 14:31

Let her. And stop giving a shit what "other mother's" think. You will never please everyone. Please yourself and your daughter - it's such a non issue in the grand scheme of life.

dammitsue · 02/04/2014 14:32

It Is weird. And you wouldn't let her take a fake cigarette, but high heels are bad for health too. Why glamorise it!? I might be a prude, but I cannot stand seeing girls pretending to be grown women....it IS creepy!

FauxFox · 02/04/2014 14:32

sorry "mothers" (errant extra apostrophe)

TheTerribleBaroness · 02/04/2014 14:33

I'd let her wear them.

Curlyweasel · 02/04/2014 14:34

You really are an Awfulmaureen if you think it's appropriate to dress your DD like a mini prostitute! Wink Aaaahhh, don't concern yourself too much over this. If it raises her confidence (and height!), then what's the harm for a one off? Do what's in your heart. x

Whereisegg · 02/04/2014 14:34

There are so many things you are going to have to say no to in the years to come, say yes to all you can.

Heels for a party at 10? I hope she has a great time Smile

dammitsue · 02/04/2014 14:35

The 'other mothers' who won't invite little miss glamour to their nice innocent childrens parties!