To ask what else was on the memo to all womankind that I clearly missed?

[Pipbin]

Last I heard fanjos could only be washed in pure water and even the thought of soap would give you thrush. Now it seems it's fine to scrub them with wire wool and dettol.
Also, it used to be ok to just trim the hair that might poke out around your knickers, but now all body hair is evil and must be removed via hot wax.
And then I read on MN that washing up in a bowl and then putting it on the draining board like they used to in the fairy adverts is all wrong and we should be washing up under running water.
And while we are about it, what the fuck is quinoa and more to the point how did everyone else know how to say it?

So what else was on this memo that I missed?

On the upside, polenta can be sliced and fried. Can quinoa be fried?

Statement Walls now bad? Oh my god I missed another memo!

I bought some keen-wah once as an alternative to couscous/bulgar wheat as I'm gluten free.

It sat on the shelf looking at me accusingly for ten a few years before I fed it to the birds...

I missed the memo that said skinny jeans good, bootleg jeans bad. I love my bootlegs, they suit my shape. Skinny does not, not at all.

That people wash themselves, their children and their towels so often it's no wonder we are often short of water.

That people get in an almighty tiz about leaving DCs in cars at petrol stations.

That there is a strange thing called BLW

That people haven't a clue about basic food safety and what rules you can and can't bend.

Oh and I can't leave a DC in a car seat for more than 5 minutes, I can't have them in the front of a car until they are 100, they must be in a parent facing pushchair, you can't co sleep unless you take all sorts of precautions and making up formula is now as complicated as sterile cell culture.

Fortunately my DDs are 16 and 13 and I avoid most of the above.

The canteen in my old place of work used to have a keeenwaaaaah salad on the salad bar. It was bloody lovely and for about a year I was referring to it as 'the really fat couscous stuff'. I even googled fat couscous to work out where to get it from. Bloody heathen I am

Nocomet has touched upon this memo...

At petrol stations, the full family must go into the shop to pay, regardless of number of responsible adults, just in case the car spontaneously combusts.

Jolleigh - but you can get a kind of fat couscous too. They call it "Israeli couscous" at our work canteen, but DH is Israeli and he's baffled by it!!

AnnieLobeseder your work canteen serves more than one kind of couscous? Where do you work - Harrods Food Hall?!

I'm totally confused now

Do I need to boil my mince, quinoa, bog brush, germy shoes, and skinny jeans with home made stock, or will a couple of oxo cubes do it?

Limelight - we must boil anything that will be entering our mouths

I'm all of a dither now Annie - are Israeli Couscous and keeenwaaah quite similar then or might I genuinely have been looking at fat couscous? stupid sodexo not labelling their food

Oh fuck, if there's a giant couscous too, I'm never going to find whichever one I need to replicate that salad.

That's the memo that also instructed us to warm plates in the tumble drier. Except maybe it said don't warm plates in the tumble drier.

MIL apparently used to boil mince so all the fat and the flavour could be poured away rather than being eaten. Thank god for extra-lean steak mince..

ooh, ooh. haven't dealt with mince since the 1970s but we were told then to fry it without any added fat, and pour off the fat that came out of it.

couscous is also basically just pasta...just teeny tina pasta, rolled by hand traditionally. I saw it in hugh fearnley whittingstall so it must be true.

re leaving kids in the car at petrol stations. In all my 20+ years of driving, I have never seen a car spontaneously combust at a petrol station/been held at gunpoint/abducted by aliens. Ergo, it's unlikely that it will happen now I have a five year old in the car.

My sister was held at gunpoint in a bank once, but bank queues being what they are, you would definitely take the DC into the bank.

That style is important everyday, rather than something you think about for a night out.
That it doesn't matter how shit your DP is to you, you should always find an excuse to forgive him ( fat chance of that!)
That anybody cares what my eyebrows look like.

Limelight

I have never made stock in my life. Any brand of stock cube will do with your quinoa. I recommend cooking the quinoa with small chunks of potato. I think it goes well.

Limelight/Jolleigh - whatever you put in your mouths the utensils used for transfer from plate to orifice must NOT have been put through a dishwasher first if pet bowls have entered the dishwasher: a machine that jetsprays water heated to near boiling point. A machine that effectively kills all well-known-but-rarely-hazardous-to-a-healthy-human-being -bacteria.

In fact, it is best you avoid water altogether. It is a major cause of transferable disease.

On the otherhand, do not put your plates into the tumble drier.

I live in a bungalow so where should my husband shit? There is no upstairs loo.

on the roof. obviously.

But Terrortree, what will I rinse my mince with if I can't use water? Should my mince be going in the tumble drier?!