To ask what else was on the memo to all womankind that I clearly missed?

[Pipbin]

Last I heard fanjos could only be washed in pure water and even the thought of soap would give you thrush. Now it seems it's fine to scrub them with wire wool and dettol.
Also, it used to be ok to just trim the hair that might poke out around your knickers, but now all body hair is evil and must be removed via hot wax.
And then I read on MN that washing up in a bowl and then putting it on the draining board like they used to in the fairy adverts is all wrong and we should be washing up under running water.
And while we are about it, what the fuck is quinoa and more to the point how did everyone else know how to say it?

So what else was on this memo that I missed?

Now I do have a mooncup. And I love it. I've not got spiritual enlightenment though.

That basically only allows you to consume tea, coffee, boiled sweets and mooncups.

I have a cleaner, should I tell her not to use a loo brush?

But we vegematarians like quinoa. It has lots of lovely essential amino acids in it, and when you cook it the outer layer curls up into cute spirals like piggie tails. And it's not couscous.

Stick your hand down the loo I think, it's more hygienic that way. Then boil your hand.

I might be a vegi, but there ain't no meat in chips.
It doesn't mean I have to eat crazy stuff that no one knows how to pronounce.

There was an item on This Morning today about Men Who Are Crap At Cleaning.
There was a board with the Top Ten Crap Cleaning Things Men do.
Phil and Holly et al were chortling at the crapness of men.
I am ashamed to say I do all of them at least some of the time. That wasn't a memo that passed me by, it was an encyclopaedia.

Did they laugh at bog brushes?

I live in a bungalow so where should my husband shit? There is no upstairs loo.

I don't think he'll take too kindly to boiling his hand after cleaning the loo. He was most upset when he burnt his wotnot on the radiator last week.

This thread is amusing me. Keep it up.

Postman's rules do allow quinoa, rice and pasta though. So I'm fine. That's my diet pretty much covered.

Whatever happened to the smelly willy thread? I commented on it very early on then tried to find it for a giggle later and it had disappeared

Sorry, that was rude. I have nothing funny to say so am relying on others.

I'm also vegemetarian. I don't think I've ever tried Keen-Whaah either.

Chips are goooood.

Pipkin's mother's rule, sorry.

Jolleigh it was deleted.

A mooncup is a small, rubbery, flexible cup (egg cup size?) which can be used, instead of a roll of cotton wool on a string, as sanitary protection.

Pipkin - I think if only a downstairs loo is available, one is expected to develop a sphincter of steel. And of course, regularly seek medical attention for the resulting impacted bowel.

Other memos you might have missed:

• Walls must be painted grey. Except perhaps for one with garish wallpaper, which must be referred to as a Statement wall
• All females under the age of 60 must wear skinny jeans. Any females caught wearing jeans with a slight flare must be taken away and shot.

That's a right shame Tilly. I was looking forward to reading more about the miraculous odourless knob that suspiciously suddenly smelled like knobs.

what the fuck is quinoa - brilliant!

I took a room service order at work tonight and could I fuck describe what Polenta was. Id tasted it an hour before so said "its similar to semolina but this dish it has a taste of cheesy mash potato"

I thought Statement Walls were now Bad biscuit. Am I wrong? I hope so. I have one and may need to burn it down if I am being a bad wimman.

I am already a Bad Wimman as I got DH to boil my mooncup for me.

jeans I'm under 60. Fuck that I'm under forty (just for a leeeelte bit longer) and I don't even own a pair of jeans.

I am confused by polenta. Sometimes its a porridgey thing, sometimes its mash, sometimes its cake.