to confront my friend about her husband's behaviour?

[mrsruffallo]

I am having a hard time at work. Invited friend and her dh over for dinner last night and had a real moan about it. As they were leaving I thanked her for listening to me ranting and her husband leaned over me and yelled hard enough for spittle to hit my face, " next time tell someone who gives a shit!". They then left, whilst I attempted to laugh it off. I really want to ring her this morning but another part of me just wants to wash her hands of the whole situation.

So you don't believe her post then?

Facts? There was spittle on her face.

Stunning, so many excusing anyone behaving like this.

Have just seen that you and I crossed posts Behind saying almost the same thing. I rest my case! Are we the same person?

Thanks wottatheodds but I fear we are fighting a losing battle.

It seems it's far more acceptable to assume a man is an abusive twat based on one side of a story than a woman is a boring, self obsessed hostess.

Facts? There was spittle on her face

I have lost count of the times I have accidentally done this to people usually as a result of over enthusiastic application of Fixodent. Feel free to boak

Fancy a drink Behind....you won't believe the day I've had, I could bore for England about it.....

Yes, I go agree, I would not confront, because he will get abusive.

Just don't contact them again.

If they contact you, just make an excuse and let the friendship drop off.

are we the same person

I don't think so wotta, but I don't think our views are unreasonable- they are far more acceptable than believing every rude person is an abuser.

Where you yelling at them, too? Charming

Ok then Bearbehind, why did this man not interject DURING the conversation while the op's DH was there??

Was that for me expat...in which case probably not. I tend not to yell at people but there are lots of things I don't do that seem to be okay here boring my guests to sobs being one of them

Btw I have learned to sit with an umbrella up (not really) when I see comedy gigs in the first couple of rows because the spittle hit rate can be phenomenal!

expat your last 2 posts make no sense to me at all.

He sounds like a very rude and nasty man. Your friend us probably used to his embarrassing behaviour. Dint have anything to do with him again, just your friend.

Ok then Bearbehind, why did this man not interject DURING the conversation while the op's DH was there??

Maybe because he thought that by starting a different conversation his hostess would take the hint but she blithely continued her boring conversation and his only opportunity to get a word in edge ways was at the end of the night........

Okay once more then I really must go:

why did this man not interject DURING the conversation while the op's DH was there??

No one (least of all Bear or me) is suggesting that the guy's behaviour was acceptable or anything other than rude or twattish and totally worthy of being struck off the Christmas card list, but it is a huge leap to suggest that he is therefore a villain and abuser. The weight of evidence (as supplied by Ruffalo is that he was beyond bored and totally pounced on the opportunity handed to him by the OP to say what he did, though doubtless she was expecting him to say 'Oh not it was fascinating from start to finish and not at all boring. And what with you not serving foie gras and veal how can I ever possibly thank you enough'

Hear hear, Stainless.

I've seen this on quite a few threads recently - that people think a friend confiding in them, or sharing a problem is "boring". Some bloody friendship. No wonder so many people feel increasingly isolated and unhappy :(

Ahh, sorry stainlesssteel I hadn't realised that in AIBU you take the OP's word as gospel - on that basis I'm out.

And I hadn't realised AIBU was an excuse to be as rude and obnoxious as possible.

Actually I had

'expat your last 2 posts make no sense to me at all.'

That's because I find yelling at someone in their home and swearing at them and spitting in their face abusive behaviour and would end any sort of contact with such an individual for good.

that people think a friend confiding in them, or sharing a problem is "boring"

No no no no no no and once again no. You are absolutely right imho Hester That is what friendship is all about. But it is not appropriate to dominate an evening which you are hosting with your own problems ...it is the stuff of one to ones or (horrible jargon klaxon) interventions.

Having said all that, I would probably be far more behind the weight of general opinion on this thread if it weren't for the OP's insistence that it was enthralling which shows something of a lack of self awareness, which in turns leads me to think that all was not as black and white as she has portrayed it.

I would probably be far more behind the weight of general opinion on this thread if it weren't for the OP's insistence that it was enthralling which shows something of a lack of self awareness, which in turns leads me to think that all was not as black and white as she has portrayed it.

Totally agree wotta - let's go for that drink!

Did she insist she was enthralling? Or merely mention it? You have no idea what they were discussing. It could be awful/horrifying/juicy/shocking.

I have no idea why I'm engaging so much with this thread. I don't know if the OP was as dull as ditchwater. All I know is that no one deserves to be yelled at and sworn at after an evening's hospitality and I'm astounded some people are suggesting she deserved it by being boring. FFS.

Hester, if BearBehind and WottatheOdds are the same person, then you are also me and I agree 100% with your posts.

Maybe we can go out for a drink, if they/she is, and be normal and nice :o