About Ds Teacher wanting to call him something else ?

[CrazyHhas5kitties]

So Ds 5 has come home from school a little bit upset & after asking bribing him to tell me what's wrong I'm unsure how to deal/react to it .

Right so for the sake of keeping my anonimity (sp) I have changed the names .

So Ds is called Tom & has a class mate called Thomas from what I can gather Thomas' mum has told their Teacher that Thomas must now be called Tom so the Teacher has told Ds that he must be called Thomas so everybody doesn't get confused

Ds said 'but that's not my name' but apparently that's how it has to be because everybody can't be confused by two children with the same name , even though Tom is what's on my Ds birth certificate not Thomas

So if I haven't lost/confused you all what should I do about this ?

I will be seeing the Teacher Monday so I will say something I'm just unsure of what to say

I can't be the only one hoping the other boy's surname is Smith, can I? Him being known as Tom S would be so perfect.

About the hairdresser thing, I had one called "Jane" who I went to for 2-3 years. Then, one day she was suddenly called "Sarah". It confused the hell out of me and I still call her by the old name sometimes!

Absurd to start calling your child a name that is not his name.
And potentially damagingly so when he has AS.

Where do all these bonkers people come from?

If the teacher does not react well to this completely reasonable steer towards common sense and observing the factual accuracy of the matter his name - then tell her that you have decided that he should be known as "teachers-name" so from now on she will have to be known as Thomas, to avoid confusion.

Ds2 appears to have been renamed to a shorter version of his name by staff at school. It started on the basis of, "his name is long and he might find it easier to write a shortened version", "OK", I said, so long as he is not actually called that because his name is ds2. Now, 18 months later, all the teachers call him by the shortened name, not something that has come from him! He gets somewhat bemused by it, " at school they call me D, but my name is really DS.". It annoys me no end, but not something I feel I can bring up easily.

Stokes That would be funny
Tom is just a name I used to cover up my identity as Ds name is a very uncommon spelling so would out me instantly

OP, you never answered - does ThomasMom make lemon drizzle cake?

When my DB was 8 there were 2 boys in the class with the surname Patel. The teacher said he couldn't have 2 boys with the same name and would call the other boy Singh> this continued for 10 years with the whole school knowing the boy as Singh. The other boys only realised the significance on A level results day when the headmaster shouted out "Patel" and "Singh" went up to get his envelope of results.
Thin end of the wedge OP. Say something to this teacher.

This is absolutely ridiculous and bloody rude and disrespectful to arbitrarily decide that a child's given name is, for some reason, "unacceptable" and to therefore change it. As others have said there are various simple options to distinguish between kids with the same name.

Hope you get it sorted without further ado - this teacher simply cannot call your child a name which isn't his.

This reminds me of when I was at school in the 1970s. We had a Polish girl in the class whose name the old bat teacher couldn't pronounce and I actually remember her saying - in front of a whole class of 10 year olds - that "xxxx is too hard for me so I'll call you Anna from now on" - which wasn't even close. Even as a 10 year old I was shocked and thought it very strange and rude - but of course was powerless to protest. I hope her parents gave the teacher hell but I don't know .... so far as I can remember this teacher continued with Anna all the time we were in her form.

Ok... What do I think happened.....

Thomas's mother decided to call her son Tom. She is crazy and tell her son that she is making the teacher call him Tom for now on and she is also telling the teacher that Tom will have to be called Thomas.

Thomas goes up to your son and tells him that the teachers says he has to now be called Tom as he is now Thomas. Your son has AS. So, he takes it as gospel and becomes upset.

It could be that the teacher never actually said it. But, Thomas said the teacher said it.

So, have a quiet word with the teacher and explain nicely that Tom is Tom and should not be called any variation of this by staff or children as you are concerned that someone has told him he now has to be called Thomas.

If she insists, then have a word with Ht.

Just blatantly place marking

I won't be seeing Ds teacher until I pick him up from school later

Let us know how it goes, OP!

Crazy, lazy people. My DD is one of the two with the same first name in her class at nursery. She has a middle name so they use first name and initial for second name, easy, the two girls refer to themselves as little Nia and older Nia for example. Don't allow it Op. Crazy like my MIL who just decided that calling our very new 3 days old Dominic was not good enough for her. She wants to call him Boa we will have to wait and see then won't we.

Sorry but I have to post so I can see what the outcome is. I had loads of issues with teachers renaming me, even a university lecturer decided my name was Kate (it's Katherine) and I had to be very firm with him as telling him nicely went in one ear and out the other.

There are two girls in my DS's class with the same name and the same initial in their surname. They are called Grace Jo and Grace Ja (well, they're not but you get my drift).

There is a Tom and a Thomas, a Will and a William. When there were two Wills at one stage, they were Will B and Will T.

You don't change children's names

In the early 70s, my older brother Craig went to the only primary school in our little town, and there happened to be another Craig in his class. Now, my brother's last name starts with B, and the other boy's last name started with a different letter. So she could have had "Craig B" and "Craig M" for example. But no, she called my brother Craig Black and the other boy Craig Blue for the whole year. My brother hated it. But it was the 70s and children weren't supposed to "answer back" were they?

DD has a middle name that can be used for a boy or a girl. Unbeknownst to us, her Year 1 teacher had told her that her middle name was a boys name and that she should put an 'e' on the end of it.

Our family uses her first and middle names all the time (Think Sally being called Sally-Ann by her Nana). That year all DD's familiy birthday cards came addressed to Sally-Ann and DD got upset because she thought they should be Sally-Anne.

Took me ages to get out of her why she was upset (on her birthday ). I was really annoyed with her teacher and told her so. The very first thing her teacher said was "Maybe you should have checked the spelling of her name first before you registered her" .

Patronising cow.

We got given French names in our French classes at primary school. Mine and my sisters names are French anyway but my sister got given a different French name and her friend got my sister's real French name. My sister was not happy. But at eight years old there was nothing she could do. Not sure why the teacher did that and at least it was only in one class!

I hope this gets sorted op.

DD1 has another child with the same name in her class. They are referred to as (names changed, of course!) Grace F and Grace K by the staff. The other children refer to them as Nice Grace and Nasty Grace. I have discouraged this but boy am I glad that my DD is Nice Grace! Though I believe Nasty Grace is quite proud of her moniker.

When DD2 went into Yr 1, her books all came home with her (unusual for where we live) name misspelled. I spoke to her teacher who apologised, amended everything but explained that this was how DD2's name had been spelled on her class lists. A few days later, at pick-up time, the senior member of staff for KS1 came running up to me to apologise also, as she was the one who had made the transcription error on the class list. I wasn't too fussed (mistakes happen, after all) but it was nice that the school placed such importance on it.

FGS it's ridiculous.

My son had 3 other Jacks in his class at one point. Two Jack Bs and two Jack Gs. Can't remember how they got round it but they very definitely still called them all Jack. They didn't rename any of them James or Jackie.

Poledra There is an Ella or two in each year at my DC school. The DC call the ones in their years Yellow Ella, Orange Ella and Black Ella [wince] but it's after their hair colour so that's fine

I blame soap operas - in many ways they're trying to replicate real life, but rarely do they have characters with the same name.

Using the surname initial is the way to go. DS2 has a friend known as Tom D to distinguish him from Tom B at school. He's only friends with Tom D and we only know Tom D, not Tom B, but even we call him Tom D. It also happens with adults. At my sports club, we have numerous Helens - obviously a popular choice 40-50 years ago - and their names on their t-shirts are Helen A-Z. There's always the option of using the surname too. I have some friends who DH and I only ever refer to by using their first name and surname.

I had a tutor group once with 5 Thomas's in!

"Using the surname initial is the way to go."

Perhaps OPs son could remain as Tom & the boy how now wants to be Tom be "Tom too".