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AIBU?

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Original poster

About Ds Teacher wanting to call him something else ?

415 replies

CrazyHhas5kitties · 28/03/2014 16:49

So Ds 5 has come home from school a little bit upset & after asking bribing him to tell me what's wrong I'm unsure how to deal/react to it .

Right so for the sake of keeping my anonimity (sp) I have changed the names .

So Ds is called Tom & has a class mate called Thomas from what I can gather Thomas' mum has told their Teacher that Thomas must now be called Tom so the Teacher has told Ds that he must be called Thomas so everybody doesn't get confused Hmm

Ds said 'but that's not my name' but apparently that's how it has to be Hmm because everybody can't be confused by two children with the same name , even though Tom is what's on my Ds birth certificate not Thomas

So if I haven't lost/confused you all what should I do about this ?

I will be seeing the Teacher Monday so I will say something I'm just unsure of what to say

OP posts:
FryOneFatManic · 31/03/2014 12:50

This teacher would have a fit with my DD's class.

3 girls named X, 3 girls named y, 2 girls named z, 2 boys named a and 2 boys named b.

Okay, substitute your name of choice for the letters, but you get the gist, I'm sure Grin

Children get known as Name Initial, same as in other schools.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 31/03/2014 13:37

Boa???!!

FrequentFlyerRandomDent · 31/03/2014 13:43

Hope it gets sorted.

I had two homonyms in my class and my eldest DD has one. Never been an issue for me. DD had a bit of an issue with her homonym as both their firstnames and surnames are almost the same (!) but I spoke to her teacher who made sure everyone still had their right name. All seems well.

Nevertell · 31/03/2014 14:01

I once did a supply with a nursery class. They.had Isabel, Isabel, Isobel, Isabelle and Isabella. I was grateful for the one Maddy.
However, the children saw it as a bit of a joke themselves and we managed although they were only four year olds.
I'm keen to hear what the teacher actually says today.

squoosh · 31/03/2014 14:06

My goddaughter was nearly an Isabelle, her Mum was grateful in the end she went for something else as her three closest friends in nursery were all called Isabelle!

It's amazing how trends go in waves.

MrsMopOnTop · 31/03/2014 15:33

Not entirely the same but when my DS had just started nursery I got a rollicking off a classmates mother.

DS name is Elijah but (to my chagrin and my DH pleasure) he prefers the nickname Eli. So on his first day I wrote Eli on his name badge for him. When I went to collect him I had a harpy of a woman come storming up to me finger pointing telling me I had made her daughter cry. When I asked what I could possible have done she responded by telling me that her daughter Elli was in his nursery class and that she had seen Eli's badge and now her daughter was going to think she had a boys name O.o
When I responded by saying A] They are pronounced differently so once they all stop wearing the name badges she won't even notice and B] They are spelled differently and even C] Until this woman started shouting, her daughter had not been crying and I doubt that she would even have noticed without her mum pointing it out ... she went FURIOUS, stormed into the building with her DD and demanded to speak to the nursery teacher asking if there was any way of her 'enforcing' DS real name.

Hilariously the nursery teacher just responded saying that that WAS his real name and it wasn't her problem or my problem if she had a problem with the way she had spelled her own daughters name, and if she really wanted a solution she recommend "adding an E"

I nearly combusted. She even got a Thornton's Easter egg off me in appreciation I was so happy with her after that.

Some people take things too far. Her DD is still in his class at school to this day and just a few weeks ago she had a loud conversation about girls names that went very shushed as I turned up (massively pregnant) because I might 'make it masculine and use it' (for my you know - pink bump) ... prick of a woman.

CaffeinatedKitten · 31/03/2014 16:01

I have had a teacher refuse to call my son his preferred nickname as in her opinion she didn't think it right for a boy to use a unisex name. Bint. Hope you get a good outcome today.

TheZeeTeam · 31/03/2014 16:08

If the teacher is unhelpful, email all the other parents in the class and get them to go in and say they want their child to be called Tom in school. That's what I would do!!

I am Shock at the Patel/Singh thing! Poor kid!

betty10k · 31/03/2014 16:17

This happened to me at school and i'm still called by the abbreviation they chose which i hate. Stick to your guns!

RealAleOpenFiresandSteamTrains · 31/03/2014 16:21

No matter the size of the class or group, or the rarity of the name, there's no guaranteed way to be the only one of a particular name in a group!

Want to bet on that. Grin

IDontDoIroning · 31/03/2014 16:36

So if teacher says to you I want to call him Thomas then you can say that from now on we will start to address you as mrs notyourownsurname.
When she objects saying it's not my name you can ask why is it ok to not address her by a name that nots hers but ok to insist on addressing your son by a name that isn't his.

I really sympathise my name has a different spelling even though it's said the same - think Alice / Alys and it always grated when it was spelled wrong.

cashmiriana · 31/03/2014 16:50

No matter the size of the class or group, or the rarity of the name, there's no guaranteed way to be the only one of a particular name in a group!

I've tried my best.
In DD2's birth year, there were 6 other children given her name in the country.

I've only ever met one other person called by that name in my entire life. However I'm not naive enough to think that can last forever.

I've taught classes with the Milly, Millie, Molly, Milly-Mae, Lilly, Lily-Mae potential for confusion. We've managed. We never felt the need to rename the children, Victorian servant style. Shocking.

DawnOfTheDee · 31/03/2014 16:53

Marking my place for the update.....

Bardette · 31/03/2014 17:11

Waiting with baited breath...

SlimJiminy · 31/03/2014 17:13

Marking my place too. Great thread!

BakerStreetSaxRift · 31/03/2014 17:24
x2boys · 31/03/2014 17:31

I,m a seventies child and have a double barrelled name think sarah -jane [not this but along those lines]I have always been known by the double barrell but throughout school,college.work people will insist on asking which name I prefer or just calling me sarah please just call me sarah-jane as that's my name!

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 31/03/2014 17:36

Same here. Shameless.

Corabell · 31/03/2014 18:11

X2boys - the same happens to me with my double barrelled 70s name

x2boys · 31/03/2014 18:15

bet we have the same one corabell! vey annoying is nt it?

DawnOfTheDee · 31/03/2014 18:33

Where is OP....?

Wonder if she's having a ding dong with the loony teacher...

"Say my son's name, biatch!" Grin

PurpleWithaMysteryBun · 31/03/2014 18:38

Marking place... I can't keep checking for an update as I am going out.

StrawberryTot · 31/03/2014 18:59

Are you sure he hasn't confused the story slightly? I would go into school to clarify this story with the teacher, if at that point it is confirmed then I would say his name is Tom therefore he will be known as Tom or Tom A and other child Tom B.

Original poster
CrazyHhas5kitties · 31/03/2014 19:12

Sorry for the late update we went to the park never again

Right so what Ds told me was right Angry

This is how it went -

Me- Teacher Ds told me something utterly ridiculous the other day about you wanting to call him Thomas

Teacher Yes I did say that why is it ridiculous as his name should be that anyway

Me- Hmm Confused Confused

Me- No Ds' name is Tom & that's what he will be called & their is no question about it .

Teacher- Are you sure ? but Tom (other boy) will be upset

Me- Hmm Confused Look you either call my Ds by his name else I will take it to the Head/Governors

Teacher- Oh ok

I'm still a bit Confused & Hmm

OP posts:
ElvisJesusAndCocaCola · 31/03/2014 19:13

I simultaneously taught two students who shared first ne and surname one year. One was a boy and one a girl.

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