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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

About Ds Teacher wanting to call him something else ?

415 replies

CrazyHhas5kitties · 28/03/2014 16:49

So Ds 5 has come home from school a little bit upset & after asking bribing him to tell me what's wrong I'm unsure how to deal/react to it .

Right so for the sake of keeping my anonimity (sp) I have changed the names .

So Ds is called Tom & has a class mate called Thomas from what I can gather Thomas' mum has told their Teacher that Thomas must now be called Tom so the Teacher has told Ds that he must be called Thomas so everybody doesn't get confused

Ds said 'but that's not my name' but apparently that's how it has to be because everybody can't be confused by two children with the same name , even though Tom is what's on my Ds birth certificate not Thomas

So if I haven't lost/confused you all what should I do about this ?

I will be seeing the Teacher Monday so I will say something I'm just unsure of what to say

OP posts:

ChunkyPickle · 28/03/2014 20:49

It should be fixed, there have been plenty of sensible suggestions.

There were 4 in my year with my name - two of us kept the long version and added our surname, and the other two used different short forms. It was only when I got chatting to one of them, now in her thirties, that I discovered the short form had been imposed on her at school and she'd absolutely hated it!

ChasedByBees · 28/03/2014 20:58

Marcipex - how stupid of the teacher to actually declare she wanted to give her own son special treatment. I think I would have gone to the head to discuss her competency for the role.

Crazy - your son's teacher is being really rude, definitely challenge this. Has the other boy had a different name until now or is this the first time they are in class together?

Original poster

CrazyHhas5kitties · 28/03/2014 21:41

They have been in the same class since they were 3 as they were in Nursery together & the other boy has always been known at School/Nursery as Thomas

OP posts:

lifehasafunnywayofhelpinguout · 28/03/2014 21:49

This is out of order. If he is Tom on his birth certificate then the teacher has no business calling him Thomas. Even if he was Thomas on his birth certificate and he wanted to be known as Tom then that's fine,too as everybody has the right to a name or a prefared name. My D.N is called Richard but he is known as Richie. My D.S goes mad when anyone calls him Richard. xxx

LoveBeingCantThinkOfAName · 28/03/2014 21:50

Regards of what the mum other boy wants to be called your son has just the same right to his name. I would speak to the teacher probay say ds seems a little confused and thinks you've changed his name

Pipbin · 28/03/2014 22:15

I know of a couple who were called in by their DS's teacher as the teacher was concerned about his hearing. The parents said that they hadn't ever noticed a problem. The teacher then calls the child over using the long form of his name, which the parents never called him and was not his name. It took a lot of persuasion on their behalf to get the teacher to believe that he was a Tom and not a Thomas.

LokiDokey · 28/03/2014 22:30

I have a Tom as well (though he is a Thomas), not that this helps your situation but he's mostly called Bert.

I was a Jane at school with two friends called Jayne. Hence I was forever after known as plain Jane.

minniebar · 28/03/2014 22:43

I've a good one!

At junior school there was another boy with the same (common) surname as me and my brother. We all had different first names.

Apparently this wasn't clear enough, and my brother was referred to as B Jones (i), I was B Jones (ii) and the other boy was A Jones. On our exercise books and everything.

Yeah, because that's simpler than three completely different first names

[still rankles]

MarianForrester · 28/03/2014 22:47

YANBU. The teacher can't call him something that's not his name, and he has a right to be called what he and you want.

cece · 28/03/2014 22:54

DD has a name that can be pronounced two ways.

One year her class teacher decided to use the pronunciation that we don't use. By the end of the year she had changed the spelling slightly to match her pronunciation.

cece · 28/03/2014 22:55

PS,

I have a Tom and you would be surprised how often people call him Thomas.

scrappydappydoo · 28/03/2014 23:09

Ridiculous. My dd has a very common name and is is known by name and initial eg scrappyjr D. She got so used to it in reception that she signed that on my birthday card! To do anything else would seem bizarre!

linroz · 28/03/2014 23:13

I often have children with the same name in my class just call them the name with last name initial or last name... I wouldn't dream of changing their names - how wierd and rude

ADishBestEatenCold · 28/03/2014 23:20

Damn! Now we've got to wait all the way till Monday to find out what justification the teacher thought he/she had to change your sons given name, CrazyH.

Don't you just hate it when this sort of thing happens on a Friday?

Original poster

CrazyHhas5kitties · 28/03/2014 23:29

Adish I'm rather that people are interested in the outcome so I will most definitely post whatever justification the Teacher gives me not that I'll accept it

OP posts:

LokiDokey · 28/03/2014 23:31

My Tom was only Thomas when he's in trouble, though as he's 21 and a lot bigger than me I don't tend to yell "Thhaaaaaamus" Tom and Jerry style anymore

MiscellaneousAssortment · 28/03/2014 23:37

I agree ADish such a wait :)

pigsDOfly · 28/03/2014 23:39

Think teacher is being a bit silly if she actually can't cope with 2 children with the same name.

In my class of 22 girls (small school) I was one of 5 girls with the same first name. Somehow we and the teacher coped.

Wibblypiglikesbananas · 28/03/2014 23:45

Just catching up again - this thread has really got me thinking about school!

Ok, so this may totally out me to anyone I went to school with but when I started high school, there was a boy in my year called Dino Constantinou - he was Greek Cypriot. Mr Graham, the form tutor, went around the class on the first day of term and asked everyone their names. When he replied Dino, he was told to say his proper name(!) and stop messing around. He again replied Dino. He was given another chance and replied with his full name, at which point he was sent out of class for being cheeky!!!

whojamaflip · 28/03/2014 23:45

I have this with 2 of my dcs.

Ds1 is known as say Harry - starts reception and there is another Harry in class - henceforth they are known as Harry D (ds) and Harry Smith - no probs at all - now year 6.

Dd2 is say Abigail known as Abby. Starts reception and not only is there another Abby but they are also an Abby D! From then on they were known as big Abby and little Abby - again no confusion.

The teacher cannot just change the name of a child - apart from anything if any of my children are called by their full names they think they are in trouble

17leftfeet · 28/03/2014 23:58

There were 2 girls in my class at primary school with exactly the same name eg Claire Roberts name has been changed for obvious reasons

No middle names and you couldn't really shorten the first name

They were called Claire November and Claire May as the only way to separate them!

YuccanLiederHorticulture · 29/03/2014 00:05

The right to your own name is a fundamental human right, and one of the first rights listed in the UN declaration of the Rights of the Child. You really must insist OP!

MandatoryMongoose · 29/03/2014 00:05

In my Dds old class there were 2 boys with very similar names that were difficult to shorten. Think Jack Brown and Jack Browne, for a while they were Jack 1 and Jack 2 until Jack 2 decided he didn't like it I am not a number and became Jack Browne with the E, which seemed rather a mouthful to me but they were happy with.

StrawberryCheese · 29/03/2014 00:07

That teacher and/or the other mum is a bit of a loon. Hope you get it sorted for your DS.

I went to several schools growing up and was always the only person with my name. It's a welsh name that rhymes with Paris. At one primary school the teacher didn't 'get it' and would always write my name as Gary, correcting the spelling that I would use. He didn't just change my name, he changed my gender! My mum had a few words

Original poster

CrazyHhas5kitties · 29/03/2014 00:11

The mum is most definitely a loon & has proven so on many occasions

OP posts:

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