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Original poster

About Ds Teacher wanting to call him something else ?

415 replies

CrazyHhas5kitties · 28/03/2014 16:49

So Ds 5 has come home from school a little bit upset & after asking bribing him to tell me what's wrong I'm unsure how to deal/react to it .

Right so for the sake of keeping my anonimity (sp) I have changed the names .

So Ds is called Tom & has a class mate called Thomas from what I can gather Thomas' mum has told their Teacher that Thomas must now be called Tom so the Teacher has told Ds that he must be called Thomas so everybody doesn't get confused Hmm

Ds said 'but that's not my name' but apparently that's how it has to be Hmm because everybody can't be confused by two children with the same name , even though Tom is what's on my Ds birth certificate not Thomas

So if I haven't lost/confused you all what should I do about this ?

I will be seeing the Teacher Monday so I will say something I'm just unsure of what to say

OP posts:
ElvisJesusAndCocaCola · 31/03/2014 19:13

Name!

clam · 31/03/2014 19:18

Shock Shock Shock Shock

She. Said. WHAT???????

HermioneWeasley · 31/03/2014 19:19

Y'know, the teacher's behaviour is so out if order and so biased against your son I think I would mention it to the HT anyway

Nevertell · 31/03/2014 19:21

Outrageous! This teacher is a loon.

Spanglemum · 31/03/2014 19:22

Good for you. This teacher is not being very professional by letting this friendship with a parent influence her behaviour in the class room. How this other mother thinks she can go around insisting what other children are called is beyond a joke. She must have some kind of mention health problems.
I was expecting you to say that these other mums were younger than you. They need to get a life.

Wossname · 31/03/2014 19:24

Boa!! Why Boa??

Corabell · 31/03/2014 19:24

The teacher is out of order! I would write a letter of complaint to head teacher. I say that as a teacher!

His name "should" be that! What about the other boy?!

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 31/03/2014 19:26

I'd agree about talking to the head anyway. Her saying, "his name should be that anyway" when it isn't but being perfectly happy to use the exact same name for another child as an abbreviation is really bad - especially as she's been using it for two terms, she can hardly claim to have a major objection to the name!

YouTheCat · 31/03/2014 19:31

It wouldn't matter if she did object to the name. It's not her place to veto children's names.

I'd mention it to the head and make sure she's calling your ds by the correct name from now on.

LindyHemming · 31/03/2014 19:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

clam · 31/03/2014 19:33

Why should the other boy be upset? He can be called 'Tom' as well, with a surname letter attached to it, like half the kids in primary schools today!

Original poster
CrazyHhas5kitties · 31/03/2014 19:39

If she calls Ds by the other name again I will be taking it further .
This Teacher has only just qualified she is mid to late 40s & she was the school secretary for a few years before which is how she knows this parent so well

OP posts:
ShadowFall · 31/03/2014 19:40

Whether other Tom is upset or not is irrelevant.

That is not a valid reason to change your Tom's name, as teacher should know.

LordPalmerston · 31/03/2014 19:42

well this HAS been gripping

clam · 31/03/2014 19:42

I'm staggered by this. Do not let it drop.

BrunoBrookesDinedAlone · 31/03/2014 19:43

No- I would take it further NOW.

'Thats what his name should be anyway' ??!

REALLY?

There is no way she should even DREAM that it would be ok basically to tell a parent that she considers the name they've given their child to be inappropriate.

Get her pulled up on this and save yourself a whole heap of trouble. And mention that the root of this seems to be her rather too close relationship with the other boy's mum and the resultant favouritism.

She seriously needs her knuckles rapped.

diddl · 31/03/2014 19:45

You should complain anyway.
Her attitude towards you was utterly disgusting.
So if your son should be Thomas anyway, then so should the other boy by that logic.

justtoomessy · 31/03/2014 19:46

Oh blimey just read the thread and can't believe the teacher even said that but well done for standing up for your son and yourself.

One of my friends at school had the same name as me so they tried the surname initial thing only thats the same as well. They couldn't refer to us as tall or small as we were both the same height and around the same shape nor could they say the freckly one as we both had freckles, or choose our hair colour as it was the same Grin

TheCrackFox · 31/03/2014 19:46

I would be mentioning this to the head.

The teacher is failing in her duty in maintaining a professional boundary with her friends/parents (she is also a twat).

Badgerlady · 31/03/2014 19:47

I'm Shock at the teacher! I went to a small village primary (about 100 pupils). In my class there were five (yes five) Laura's clearly local parents lacked imagination that year, They became known as Laura and the initial of their first name (so LauraB etc). As far as I know they were all completely untraumatised by the experience. The two I'm still in touch with still sign Christmas cards LauraB etc.

x2boys · 31/03/2014 19:50

I,m outraged on your behalf crazy who does this teacher think she is it does nt matter WHAT THE TEACHER THINKS HE SHOULD BE CALLED ITS WHAT HIS NAME IS! I love your user name Bruno brookes my sister had a massive crush on him in the 80,s lol.

UncleT · 31/03/2014 19:52

Well done you for being so firm and direct. An outrageous situation really. Certainly if there's even a whisper more about this nonsense then please, escalate it double-quick. YATNBU (t for totally).

ADishBestEatenCold · 31/03/2014 19:53

That sounds so weird, CrazyH. Did she in any way acknowledge that Thomas was not actually your DS's name? Could she have been confused and have thought that you did abbreviate your son's 'full' name to Tom?

If not, if there was really no evidence of possible misunderstanding, then I would follow it up with a 'nice' little note to HT, confirming the conversation you had, why you had it and the expected outcome.

Nanny0gg · 31/03/2014 19:54

Well done OP.

We had a parent once whose child was Daniel on his birth certificate and registered at the school as Daniel.

So we made peg labels and drawer labels and book labels with Daniel on.
Logical, no?

No.

His name was Danny. He was always called Danny. He must always be called Danny. And Heaven help us if we dare call him Daniel. And she ranted at told us this the first day of term.

So, scrap all the labels and the displays with the child's name on to welcome him to the class and start over.

Why name him Daniel if he was never, ever to use it and why not tell us this when she registered him?

Needless to say, we always called him Danny...

Pipbin · 31/03/2014 20:06

I can't believe she said that.
I've seen names spelt incorrectly, but I've gone along with the parents chosen spelling. The best one I've heard of is Martin spelt Martain.