to wish so many women wouldn't get so precious and princessey over Mother's Day

[Ecclefechan]

If you need one day a year for your DH and DC to show you how much they love you and appreciate you, then you've got a dysfunctional family and need to address that.

If breakfast in bed is your thing, surely that can be accommodated more than once a year on a particular day.

If you want "a break from the cooking" then maybe you should be having a conversation with your family about sharing cooking, washing dishes and going out for lunch when you want to rather than on a particular day.

Your DM and MIL do not stop being mothers just because their children have left home; so stop being so precious with comments such as "I'm the one who does the mothering", "Mother's Day should be about those who are doing active mothering", "She's had her turn". Heard every flipping year on Mumsnet (though thankfully never in real life).

Get over yourselves

but there might be a pinny in the John Lewis bag

I think the main reason for not sharing cooking would be that you don't have a spouse available at the time the meal needs to be cooked - isn't that obvious?

Many people live lives where both partners work very long hours and/or have more labour intensive children. They can't always have a break, but a few times a year they do and they really really look forward to it.

Some people really enjoy shared seasonal celebrations.

Some people actually do have toxic relatives.

If you don't like to hear about it, unless somebody in your life is in one of these situations and wants to talk about it, you don't have to.

Yabu, your post is bit shitty and nasty. I don't get birthdays or Christmas for adults, that's a personal thing, as long as people don't ask me to fuss over them I don't really care.
I don't do Hallmark for any celebration. The dcs or dh make me a card - not elaborate, just A4 folded with a stick figure and a quick message. The dcs like high days and holidays, they like a sense of occasion, it's something to look forward to.
We don't have the family politics that a lot of people seem to have on here - both our parents are very hands off, which means they don't help or get involved - ever - with our kids or us and they don't expect a lot of attention in return....I think all this fussing over whose day it is symptomatic of a family that live in each other's pockets - you can't have it both ways.

Slack - you are clearly not precious or princessey then, are you?

merry - in that case, the man could batch cook and freeze which is the advice often given to busy women.

Anyway, Happy Mother's Day to all who celebrate it {smile]

I think I might be the queen of Mother's Day this year as I will be having two of them!

DDs both live away from home, dd2 (20) came home last weekend and can't this weekend so I had Mother's Day last Sunday- tickets to the Globe and a card and a lovely meal made for me(that isn't unusual-dd2 cooks a lot when she's home)

This weekend dd1(23) is coming home, we're going out for lunch and then off to an event in the evening.

I'm not spoilt by the way, we love celebratio in our family and mark everyone's special day (including PIL)

...surely the point isn't who cooks the dinner, but are the household jobs shared fairly, based on how much WOH each person does?

TBH using MD as a sticking plaster is not something I would do as it would leave 364 days of unappreciated drudgery... year in, year out

of course not everyone lives a life of unappreciated drudgery but many posters appear to.

Its a very husband focused thread isn't it

For those of us who have no choice but to do all the cooking and cleaning and breakfasts and homework and sports practice (subject to age of kids), one day a year where others will help your child to do some of it for you (rather than you helping them do it) is rather nice and much appreciated.

But then as I said before I've never seen people be princessy about mothers day in the way you describe in real life - I haven't even read the threads about it on MN so I guess I shouldn't be commenting at all.

Exactly kewcumber.

It seems to be tricky for some people to understand how other people's lives work.

It's tricky to batch cook if you

A) don't exist
B) are on active service
C) have a disability
D) work long hours away from home because that puts food on the table.

Lie ins, coffees out and special meals are not a part of normal everyday life for many families, not because they are dysfunctional or badly organised but because for a variety of reasons their lives are not the same as yours.

Looking down on them because they look forward to a low cost celebration of Mother's Day or any other day just shows a lack of imagination.

No batch cooking here our freezer is not large enough

I know I'm not princessy but that isn't something I see as a virtue, it's just how I feel. Dcs get disappointed because I couldn't give a stuff about Christmas or Birthdays or gifts - I have to fake enthusiasm.

I do expect them to cook for me on Mothering Sunday and I expect them to cook for dh on Father's Day. They ask what day is children's day and I say every fecking day of their lives so far! I think it's about the dcs appreciating they don't always come first - like they seem to a lot of the time. And I agree that this message should be delivered throughout the year and it is.

Lucky you if you have a thoughtful family. Lots of women don't.

This.

Personally, I've asked that on Mother's Day, everyone just fuck off and leave me alone for the day Bliss.

Now you in fantasy land wombles

DH has agreed to take the kids and fuck off for the day if I do the same for him for father's day. Job's a good un ;)

Haha at " active mothering "

I hate all the consumer crap that is associated with Mother's
Day.
Only thing I hope for is my dc will not argue with other, a day of no bickering would be the best effort all round.

DH just told me he has left it the boys to sort out this year..... sooo that will be a day like any other sunday coming up then ah well just a good job I am not precious

Have to say OP, you really do sound thoroughly unpleasant.
There's a ring of untruth about the idyllic picture you paint,too - if life were so great why'd you take the time to post on here slating other mothers? Hmm.

Idyllic picture? Ha! Long marriage to a good man who cooks and takes our DD to sports on a Sunday and nips into a shop for a gift? Nothing idyllic about that - you've spent too long on the Relationship board if you don't think that's the norm in many homes across the country. If it's not how things are in yours, then maybe you should do as I suggest in the OP and address your relationships rather than lash out at me.

Well, my 3yo couldn't wait until Sunday so today I got a homemade card and an alarmingly pink mug with teddy bears all over it and I am declaring myself over the moon. We are hosting MIL on Sunday and I'm happily doing some baking in the morning for this. Hooray for me.

I still wouldn't judge or criticise for one minute other women for having different hopes or expectations for Mother's Day. And I happily judge those who write off adult birthday or Christmas celebrations as being sour and joyless miseries!

Yup, thoroughly unpleasant!
Our home is very happy, thank you. That's great that you say yours is too, but you really don't sound happy or nice at all though! You should read your posts back and ask yourself what's going on with you because there's a real angry undertone to your posts - I think if anyone is lashing out at others it's you.

So you name-changed just to call me thoroughly unpleasant

I totally agree OP. It is a completely pointless day. I've never given a MD card or gift and have never received one - my daughters are being brought up to understand that there are more important things to be appreciated for in life than giving birth.

In fact I won't even be spending MD with my mother or my children as I'm currently in the States working for 3 months without all of them!

Can't think of many things more princessy than looking down on others and their simple pleasures. Happy to be a happy pleb making the best chocolate oreo cake ever with my children on Mother's Day.

Nothing from John lewis, but the signs are that there is something secret in the front of dd's back pack. Hoping is not last week's banana.

Crap cards, burnt toast and naff flower arrangements a pleasure?!!!

What exactly is wrong with OP's post? I'm baffled really. She says, "If you need one day at year for DH, DC to show they love you...".

It's right, isn't it? Some posters are making a merry meal of this ONE day in the year and there are virtual tears and tantrums and disappointment when it doesn't match up to largely silent expectations. It does seem to be a bit fraught really when it's a day that should be enjoyable.

That's my understanding of the OP's post anyway, how I read it. I suppose that people interpret posts differently but that doesn't make OP (or any other woman) "joyless" (which seems to be the word of the month).

Now, if you want to see bitchy and a TAAT, pick any one of the Paltrow/Martin break-ups to see nastiness and spiteful women in action...

Spot on, LyingWitch,