to wish so many women wouldn't get so precious and princessey over Mother's Day

[Ecclefechan]

If you need one day a year for your DH and DC to show you how much they love you and appreciate you, then you've got a dysfunctional family and need to address that.

If breakfast in bed is your thing, surely that can be accommodated more than once a year on a particular day.

If you want "a break from the cooking" then maybe you should be having a conversation with your family about sharing cooking, washing dishes and going out for lunch when you want to rather than on a particular day.

Your DM and MIL do not stop being mothers just because their children have left home; so stop being so precious with comments such as "I'm the one who does the mothering", "Mother's Day should be about those who are doing active mothering", "She's had her turn". Heard every flipping year on Mumsnet (though thankfully never in real life).

Get over yourselves

I regard Mother's Day as useful socialisation of my teenagers.

Of course it would be lovely if they regularly and spontaneously remembered to bring me breakfast in bed and spend a small part of their allowance on flowers for me just because they genuinely remember all the time how much I do for them- but realistically, they need something to prod their memory.

Mother's Day is one day of the year when Society prods them, instead of my having to do it myself. I like it.

I expect my dh will be playing golf as usual and the dcs will be out and about with their friends.
I will get cards from them (not sentimental mushy ones) but no gift.

I will probably pop out for a nice coffee on my own, as I usually do at the weekend.

I will not be incandescent with rage on MN on S Sunday, frothing with indignation about my thoughtless family.

I just can't get over the fact that the OP gets all the celebrations - present, card, lie in etc yet thinks that those who are sad about NOT getting such attention are spoiled princesses.

This is a horrid thread.

And I thought Op had a sense if humour

I do ... it makes me laugh how people will accuse a poster of being vile, horrible, spiteful, miserable, passive aggressive blah blah and be so lacking in self-awareness that the don't realise they are presenting themselves as all of the above

I read with interest the post about what Mother's Day is about....between Ash Wednesday and Easter etc. I didn't know any of that.

If you can't take it, don't dish it out - I think it's all the needy greedy spoiled princesses sticking up for themselves tbh!

You gotta admit op, you are pretty hypocritical !

I agree with you OP

My mother made mother's day a bloody nightmare, such pressure to get her 'enough' had to be a homemade card or it wasn't 'thoughtful' enough. Never enough 'effort' was made. My Dad was always expected to get her something too.

Nightmare.

If I get a card from my DD when she is old enough I will be more than happy. I also, am sick of these high expectations, almost set up for failure.

I don't actually know anyone in real life who gets angsty about mothers day. I get breakfast in bed - last year was a pre-made pancake caked in Nutella and a yoghurt and an apple and a cup of tea made by my then 7 year old who was thrilled with himself.

I have no DH to coerce into buying me stuff but frankly I don;t know anyone else who expects theirs to do anything more than help the DC's do something when they are too young to do it themselves but old enough to know that they want to.

Its not a bad thing for DC's to make an effort for someone else one day a year and sometimes you need a DH to facilitate that (or a handy mother in my case). DS would be very upset if he didn;t get the chance to be the "giver" for a day on Mothers day and thats good enough reason for me.

If people really expect extravagant presents or expensive lunches on mothers day I guess they could be being unreasonable, or precious, or insecure or lacking in self esteem or just plain greedy but poking fun at them hardly seems kind even if you don't agree with them.

I obviously am being a bit dense, but I don't see why this is a horrid thread or why the OP is a horrible, passive agressive mean person etc.

I think I'll go back to Style and Beauty!

Me too Somerset house. ...see you there!

Your name is one of myriad favourite places

YY, Kewcumber really good point, I agree when they are small they need a bit of help as they so desperately want to do something!

Hence I had to help with Father's Day last week (in Spain) even though we are separated, as DD (5) wanted desperately to do something. I made a big lunch and she invited him round and I helped her make a cake and card.

Through gritted teeth mind!

He won't do the same for Mother's Day, (next month here) and I don't care at all, but I do for DD, but school will do something so it's fine!

If you regularly get time to pop out for a coffee on your own, or as with the OP you regularly get a lie in and your other half does most of the cooking, great. I can also see why you might not be so desperate to stake a particular day as 'your' day.

Why judge other women (and men) who rarely get to do these things and look forward to and really enjoy the few days a year (e.g. their birthday, mother's day) when the rest of the family organise things around them?

If you have young children or children with SN parenting is generally very full on. Equally, some people have to work very long hours. Having a day when you get to stop for a short amount of time is very valuable.

I haven't read loads of threads where women are 'princessy' about mother's day (or apparently if I have I didn't bother reading them or I forgot them). My impression is that disappointed mother's day threads discuss mother's day as an example of general problems in a relationship with a partner, MIL or mother.

Equally, people who have ridiculous expectations of mother's day probably have ridiculous expectations the rest of the year too. I don't think it transforms sane people into dragons.

Thanks MrsDavidBowie !

Somers....yy to back to style and beauty! I need some further YSL serum tips

I spent 11 years ttc and used to wince at all the Mother's Day adverts, thinking I would never be a mother.

I now have 2 lovely DC and for me it's a day in particular to remember how lucky I finally got (obvs I do that anyway) and I enjoy it.

DH feels the same about Father's Day.

Just because it doesn't matter to you doesn't make others princess's for wanting to celebrate it.

Only ...and I need new YSL foundation I have realised this fine morning! It has nearly run out!

yanbu

my friend is terribly sad for me that ds will be spending some of the day (until lunchtime) with his dad

Yep, Freudian I get this from my sister every year, (DD is dropped off on a Sunday morning as she spends Saturday and Saturday night with her father, every week)

'Oh no, but it's mother's day' sister will bemoan, I explain I really don't mind, 'oh no, what about DD?' I explain she will see me from 10am onwards.

Also about it. Really irritates me.

i am out Saturday night so lie in is appreciated

What a sensible opening post. Completely agree as did my mother and as my mil still does.

What amazes me is on the thread about whether or not it was normal/appropriate to get a gift to celebrate the birth of a child there were many comments ab

usual moany arsed old whingebags

Charming, meganorks. Who would those posters be then?

Sorry posted to soon -about it being grabby and princessy and weird and why get a gift just for being a mother?

Seems very odd to me that a one off gift celebrating the birth i. e a date with real significance is weird and princessy but a recurring expectation to receive something on a date set by Hallmark cards isn't.

See, there are 2 types of people, those who like celebrations and being the centre of attention sometimes, and those who really don't and feel celebrations are really not for grown ups. You see it on Mother's Day threads, but also birthdays, Christmas, and wedding threads. Those who are anti-celebrations really don't understand other people still wanting to do them as adults, so assume the person wanting them are childish (birthdays are only for under 21s is a good example, still wanting a birthday acknowledged and gifts after that puts you in the childish category), or a bit self-centred and "princessy", because they can't comprehend someone wanting to celebrate anything that's about them without being completely able to be selfless the rest of the year.

Op, if and your family don't "do" celebrations for adults, you won't be able to get it, you just never will. But perhaps remember that in my experience, people who "do" celebrations for adults, do them for all adults, so they've made a fuss for other family adults' birthdays, for Father's Day, for their own and partners mothers on previous mothers days, and generally are only upset that when it's their "turn" to be the one spoilt, it's not happening.

It's a bit like the threads where people say that big weddings are just about showing off and wanting to be the centre of attention for a day, while failing spectacularly to consider that if you are from a family or community that does big weddings, the bride and groom have probably been to lots of other weddings, enjoyed lots of other peoples hospitality, and used those weddings as family/community events to meet up with everyone at the b&g's expense. Therefore not hosting an "event" when it's your turn would be the selfish and self-centred act.

I think if a person wants to celebrate their love for their mother in whatever way they want, then they should.

But I think it's a bit pathetic how people try to comandeer others to celebrate them. How they want their day to be X and Y. How they complain if it's not done to their requirments.

Grown women insisting that they should come above older mothers, because they are current mothers is all wince inducingly childish.