to wish so many women wouldn't get so precious and princessey over Mother's Day

[Ecclefechan]

If you need one day a year for your DH and DC to show you how much they love you and appreciate you, then you've got a dysfunctional family and need to address that.

If breakfast in bed is your thing, surely that can be accommodated more than once a year on a particular day.

If you want "a break from the cooking" then maybe you should be having a conversation with your family about sharing cooking, washing dishes and going out for lunch when you want to rather than on a particular day.

Your DM and MIL do not stop being mothers just because their children have left home; so stop being so precious with comments such as "I'm the one who does the mothering", "Mother's Day should be about those who are doing active mothering", "She's had her turn". Heard every flipping year on Mumsnet (though thankfully never in real life).

Get over yourselves

I didn't see anything wrong with OP's post.

And I wish people would stop assuming not bothering about mothers'day means no adult celebrations. There had better be more than sufficient fuss on my birthday, but that's my day; not a random day which might in the dim and distant past have had some religious significance long since forgotten and now appropriated for a generic "mothers' day"

Well MIL never got anything for Mother's Day until I came into her life.

There does seem to be a theme of men not acknowledging their wife is a mother as well though. DH didn't (so DD1 and I went and bought a diamond necklace for me on the Monday after my first Mother's Day) and my office mate just told me today her DH didn't either. You have to be explicit with men like that if you want to get something from them, I'm not sure I like the word 'princess' to describe a woman who clearly lays down what she wants from a relationship. Assertive or up front is much better.

YANBU

I don't see anything wrong with the OP's post either.
I agree with her.

YANBU. It's like Valentines Day. It's a pain in the ass. I hate how facebook (if I was on it anymore) is plastered with shite public displays of affection. Seriously! It's rubbish.

I agree with the contents of the OP but find the 'tone' hard to judge.

I detest Mother's Day as the commercially driven cringe fest that I remember intensely disliking when I was a child and I felt intense pressure to make the day 'special' for my mum and say 'thank you' and 'I love you' on queue
I don't like it now because it simultaneously manages to overstate AND underplay what motherhood is all about. Or being a parent. I truly don't care whether anything will 'happen' on Sunday because I know my boys love me (they tell me often), and don't need any present they could buy me. I know that the school will have made sure that I get some wonderful cards which will be just as special as some of the other art work of theirs I've kept.

Having said all that, I hope each and every person on this thread gets the Mother's Day that they hope for. I just wish Hallmark would fuck right off.

YANBU. I completely agree.
I am a lone parent with a 7 year old. Just a normal day for me, but I will be taking out dd for lunch so that she feels like we are doing something special.

Lots of discussion and ranting. Let's face it , if you can, It's a bloody good excuse to have a lie in with no one bothering you . End of!!!

I love Mothers Day. I can't wait for my breakfast in bed and homemade cards and ting. I'm not allowed in n their bedrooms and my dd has already b said she needs to be v taken to t h e co operative.
Godc love them its lovely to let them them make a fuss of you.
Its for them as much as me.

I agree with the OP that you shouldn't need one day a year but I do think it's nice to have a recognised day in which, as a son, I can thank my Mum (same with my Dad for Father's day) for everything she's given to do so much for our family. I'm finding it even more important these days as my parents are getting on as I really do appreciate how much they've given and it's just a nice thing to be able to do.

It's not hard to remember to send a card, flowers and chocolates one day a year if you're stuck for ideas but neither is just making a note if your mum says she likes such and such at some point and then using that as a gift idea whenever a Birthday, Mother's Day, or Christmas comes along. It's also nice to get (and give) spontaneous gifts though so I understand where the OP is coming from. Unfortunately, we're not all blessed with great families (though I fortunately am).

I don't disagree with you in the slightest OP. In fact, I couldn't agree more.

However, your original post is akin to walking into a hostage situation and having a right old go at the people bound and blind-folded with the guns in their face, for being such eejits as to get themselves into such a situation ... instead of having the go at the captors.

You seem to genuinely be wondering why people have reacted badly to your OP, and it shows an utter lack of tact, diplomacy and empathy.

Here is a group of women who are treated badly year round, and your method of 'helping' them is to remind them what shit lives they lead, to basically pour scorn on them for allowing themselves to be treated so appallingly, and to blame them for being married to selfish arseholes.

And you can't understand why they haven't thanked you for showing them the error of their ways.

Nice one.

Only one or two of the posters claim to have been treated badly and looking at their posts they are probably right.

The OP has been criticised because she claims that "so many" women are princessy - really, who? - and she appears to have difficulty comprehending why somebody might not have a partner available to share cooking and give them a weekly lie-in, assuming that any woman in this situation just needs to stand up for herself.

In theory what the OP says is right, but the self satisfied smugness, vitriolic and nasty manner it has been put across is totally uncalled for and I think has, quite rightly, riled people.

Clearly OP doesn't think that she's been unpleasant and I imagine considers herself a 'breath of fresh air' and is just 'saying it as she sees it'

I hope the JL bag contains a nice new wooden spoon as the last one has obv been used to stir too much.

Its for them as much as me.

I'd agree with that. I don't want breakfast in bed, and coffee slopped all over the stairs in transport, but they delight in it, thinking they are giving me a proper treat. Their proud grins are my real gift.
Gip at that if you like, but it has never occurred to me to make it dh's gig. He's got his own mother to grin at.

Yes, DD enjoys it so I indulge her, it would be churlish not to. However, I wouldn't throw a hissy fit if nothing materialised tomorrow other than her usual kisses, cuddles and smiles. That's how I know she cherishes me.

I have just had my 'first' MD gift/surprise ..

A large box of Krispy Kreme assorted doughnuts.
I've just got in from work, sat in bed with a brew and just scoffed two,one after another

I'm liking the fact this could be a weekender thing.

I also have my queen crown on

Love this thread!

I'm getting Hunger Games 2 on DVD as a present and lunch out and I can't flippin wait although I would never ever expect it.
I may be alone in saying that I think breakfast in bed is shit. Bed is for sleeping, eating in it is gross and I get egg yolk on my posh sheets so only creates more washing anyway

Worth remembering that Mother's Day is actually Mothering Sunday, which to some people has slightly different connotations.

Hanginthere - that has been mentioned a couple of times on this thread

Personally I am not bothered about getting anything on mothers day, like it has already been said it's not just one day. However, I do like to go and put some flowers on a grave on mothers day each year.

Isn't it supposed to be the day when servants were given the day off to visit their families?

Whatever the initial reason, it is a pile of bullshit now.

I'm pretty sure that my two daughters won't even realise that tomorrow is supposedly special in anyway. I know they love and appreciate both me and their father. Same as we do them. Don't need shite presents on one particular day to show that as they do it in a million ways every single day.

That was Boxing Day as well as Mothering Sunday. Mothering Sunday is a church thing.

Ahh right. Never quite grasped what it was all about or where it came from.

I am looking forward to it...As single parent who spends her life devoted to my little boy..He is looking forward to him showing me his thing he made at school..which he gave me this morning and I gave him back as he thought it was sunday... My sister sent him some money so I had to take him to the shop...

I don't need mothers day to know he loves me...I don't need presents to know he cares but I love the fact it is important to him..

I will be doing the cooking..no big meal out as I am taking him for his swimming lesson. It isn't an all about me day...

My mum on the other hand won't here a word from me and hasn't for the last 20 years so not a princess but do lets celebrate what we do ..This does include mums of children who have left home and actually deserve the title mum

No Princess Behaviour here.

I am looking forward to a glorious day of sun shine to get stuck into a huge washing pile that has been building, I shall be rotating nicely between, machine, line and ironing. Super quick too if its promising to be such a hot day tomorrow .

Dh is taking MIL out for lunch and shall be gone pretty much all day as she lives a few hours away, he is going with flowers and chocs ( I brought for her, he wouldn't think too), our DC's are too young however to do anything for me.

But I shall take comfort with my youngest, and the fact by close on Sunday, that pile will be processed and smelling sweet all put away.