to wish so many women wouldn't get so precious and princessey over Mother's Day

[Ecclefechan]

If you need one day a year for your DH and DC to show you how much they love you and appreciate you, then you've got a dysfunctional family and need to address that.

If breakfast in bed is your thing, surely that can be accommodated more than once a year on a particular day.

If you want "a break from the cooking" then maybe you should be having a conversation with your family about sharing cooking, washing dishes and going out for lunch when you want to rather than on a particular day.

Your DM and MIL do not stop being mothers just because their children have left home; so stop being so precious with comments such as "I'm the one who does the mothering", "Mother's Day should be about those who are doing active mothering", "She's had her turn". Heard every flipping year on Mumsnet (though thankfully never in real life).

Get over yourselves

I seem to remember a time when it was a low key day and a bunch of lowers andgeneral appreciation of your mum was the norm. It now seems to be commercialised overhyped shite in terms of marketing. I saw a card "from the Bump on Mothers ' Day" last week! I'm waiting for a thread asking "I'm 24 weeks. AIBU to be upset that my STBPFB hasn't got me a card?"

Which other thread?

Each to her own :) My birthday is near MD so I am spoiled then. When my mum was alive I sent a card and flowers and we did the same for dmil. My dc made cards when they were young. Now I get a phone call from the one who lives abroad and a card from dd. She gave it to me yesterday to open on Sunday, I get breakfast in bed most days as I like it and dh reads the paper while he has his.
Every day that I see the dc or dgc is Mothers Day for me.

*I get a lie in every Sunday because DH and DD leave the house early to do sports. I'll meet up with them later. I already know they've got me a present (was told not to look in the John Lewis bag in the car last week smile). DH does most of the cooking so he'll make tea as usual. I've already reminded DH to order flowers and send card to his Mum because it means a lot to her.
*

So you will be getting all the things that you have derided others for wanting? And people who aren't able to give each other lie-ins every weekend due to work or other commitments don't get to long for a day when they don't have to get up? Those who cannot afford presents from John Lewis aren't allowed to hope that their families haven't let lack of funds put them off and come up with a cheap or home-made token to show their appreciation?

I always find competitive joylessness on MN a bit sad, but you seem to be saying that if a family isn't like yours then they deserve to stew in their own disappointment. You acknowledge that mother's day means a lot to your husband's mother, but can't accept it should to anyone else. I can't help wondering if you are just unaware of how lucky you are.

bold fail

ilovesooty I did get my dh a Father's Day card from ,the bump - I had hyperemesis and he had done so much to look after me and the unborn baby that I thought it would be a sweet way of acknowledging that. I recognise it's a bit twee but he was being such a good father it seemed like a nice opportunity to show a bit of appreciation!

OP, I get that if Mother's Day is the only day your family unchain you from the kitchen and notice your presence then, yes, there are more significant problems in your family life. But, tbh, if there are people posting their upset about the day because they are generally unappreciated then it isn't especially nice to start a thread insulting them is it? It's a bit 'kicking them when they're down' and seems a bit unnecessary especially when you already know that your dh and dc have got some nice plans for you.

We are really low-key about it as well and I don't think it's a big deal but I don't think less of people who do.

Birthdays and Christmas though, are a big deal to me, and I can't bear all the threads that pop up bemoaning them! Let people make a fuss if they want to, it's nice to celebrate things!

Oh, and everything DoJo said! Exactly that!

Yy DoJo

I haven't seen any comments like that only the usual moany old whingebags banging on about mothers day being a load of commercial bobbins. Yes it is. But of your family and children want to celebrate you on that day where is the harm?
I saw a comment saying they didn't want to go out for lunch when it would be busy, overpriced and from a set menu. Where the hell are you eating then?! Places I eat on a Sunday are busy every Sunday as they so nice food. They won't have a set menu. The price will be the same. Maybe try choosing somewhere else?
I pity the poor DPs and DCs who try to so something nice for some of you lot.

Read your OP, OP. You come across as snarky about people who enjoy breakfast in bed or a break from cooking, describing their families as dysfunctional.

Maybe that isn't what you meant, but that is what the words say.

Many people have perfectly functional families where the choice not to cook or to have breakfast in bed is rarely available because of their circumstances.

So these people are princessy on mothers day, yet you pity them because you don't think they get recognized and they are unappreciated for the rest of the year. So on the one hand you feel sorry for them, yet at the same time you think they are being spoilt about it

You're just not a very nice person are you op, Imo.

Applauds DoJo

Better than an empathy fail dojo.

Walking home from school yesterday my daughters were excitedly telling me bits about the things they've been making me, while trying to keep it a secret. I'm looking forward to seeing their efforts. I couldn't give a stuff about a Hallmark card, flowers or doing anything different on Sunday.

I'm NC with my own mother who is abusive. Nothing I did before we went NC was acceptable to her, so the last few years I stuck to a card. Do you know how difficult it is trying to find a card that doesn't thank them for all their wonderful support and love?

If DH's mother was alive she'd be happy with a card and over the moon with a visit (she lived in a different city to us when she was here) and a gift or flowers.

Doingaka - have I touched a nerve?

Spiteful! Just spiteful!

YANBU. As a single parent, DS has never had a father to help him get me pressies, so the first couple of years i got nothing. Since then, I've got handdrawn cards and flowers from nursery/school. It suits me fine! His efforts always make me smile.

My Mother was a princess for 364 days of the year and a Queen for the 365th.

She loved having a fuss made of her and we enjoyed making a fuss of her.

My children know not to buy me a gift and they fortunately see through the cynical attempts by stores to part them from their money.

And I am sick of the pink crap everywhere. Pink books. Pink cake stands. Pink chick lit. Pink cakes. Even pink wine.

Patronising stereotyped crap.

Oh, I dunno. All these things - Christmas, birthdays, Mother's Day etc - seem so fraught for so many people.

Speaking entirely for myself, I enjoy Mother's Day. My own mum died when I was quite young, so for years Mother's Day always made me feel a bit sad but now I have my own DD, I enjoy the flowers, chocs etc. I never have breakfast in bed (that's because I hate it!) and don't really get spoilt in any other way but it's quite nice all the same.

We do spend time with MIL and my Mother though. Just time.

I think Mother's Day needs it's own topic, then those who feel like the OP can hide it. I'd hide it too, I'm really not that interested in it and yet I still find myself clicking on the threads.

I haven't read the whole thread (I know, I know) but can I just say I feel exactly the same way about adult birthdays. I now avoid the "AIBU to be pissed off no-one's stopped to worship me on my birthday" threads. They usually make me want to scream "oh grow up!" .

My ds is beyond excited about the card he's been making me at school, and dd has already opened and shown me the bracelet she made me at nursery so I'm pretty excited about it too this year :)

I know what you mean in regards to stroppy dil threads on this issue, but then my dp has never put me in competition with his mum and nor has she do I don't really get that anyway.

YANBU. I do think some people are rather too 'entitled' in their attitudes to MD, birthdays etc.

Oh how very selfless of you, we should all gasp in awe

op you are literally talking out your arse! Your making massive sweeping judgements which are not true!

Are young mums not allowed to enjoy Mother's Day too or get accused of being grabby and princess like. YOU need to get over YOURSELF

Are we supposed to throw away the cards our dc make us school, are they not acceptable too?

I've no problems with being appreciated all year round, Mr Jeff and I each get a lie in each weekend too. Don't need to fix things in our family and neither will a lot of mothers on MN.

You do come across as bitter and nasty , it's such a pointless post. Why would you start a thread that was needlessly aggressive and derogatory ? Maybe there are things you need to fix in your life ..

We 'celebrate' birthdays, valentines, Father's Day ,Easter we have a massive Easter egg hunt in my garden Halloween , bonfire night , Christmas. We enjoy life. I don't sit here thinking about people enjoying themselves pissing me off maybe you need to get out more.

as it's clear you won't be getting any this year!

caruthers lovely!