To not want people to poo in my downstairs toilet?!

[Scornedwoman67]

I will start by saying I am a fairly relaxed person when it comes to the house. I like tidy, but am not obsessed about cleaning etc.
A few years ago, after my divorce, I bougt my current house & had a downstairs toilet installed. Because of space constraints, it is off the kitchen. I have a rule that basically it's only for No.1's. I sort of assumed that most people would realise that anyway, firstly because it is near the kitchen, and secondly because it isn't exactly soundproof
Anyway, a friend & her DH visited yesterday. I will add that he has history - he has on at least one previous occasion taken himslef upstairs & sat in that loo for a 'session' ( apologies if you're eating ) but yesterday he excelled himself. We were sitting in the lounge chatting & he disappeared out of the room. I went in to the kitchen a few minutes later & he shouted through the door to announce where he was. His DW rather nervously reminded him about my rule ( knowing what he is like, I suspect) to which he replied 'oh dear'.

Whilst I can see the funny side of it, I do think it is rude....or AIBU?!

I'm thinking of putting a bloody great big sign on the door now!!!!

Sorry just re-read your post treacle and realised I misunderstood you.

Note to self: read whole post before responding!

spidey I don't understand what you mean? I didn't say anything about people not being allowed to poo in my toilet, I said I have bowel problems and find it upsetting to think that when I use someone's toilet they are angry about it. Why would you poo yourself at my house?

scornedwoman I think it was a bit off of your friend's DH turning up at your's and poohing in your toilet, full-stop. Of course its fine to do a quick wee, that's fine, but is he 5 years old or something? Surely to goodness he can work his routine out so that he doesn't need to do a #2 at his host's house, that's a bit rubbish!

It seems like any electrician, plumber, builder who has ever worked at our house, turns up and the first thing they say is "can I use your loo". Ffs, can't they control themselves ( and yes it always seems to be #2 )

Maybe they like our naice quilted paper.....

Sorry treacle I did apologise, I hadn't read your post properly. We're actually in the same toilet, I mean boat.

I am incredulous at this thread! Does anyone honestly honestly ask them what their intentions are when they ask to use the loo? And if they say a shit, you direct them upstairs?

I would rather stick hot pins up my fingernails than have a sign directing poo-ers to another loo than the one they're in. What's happened to discretion, perhaps the 'guest' doesn't want everyone knowing what they are doing! And does everyone's poos smell that much?
Mine don't unless I had a madras the night before.

Thanks daisy - that is exactly how I feel. He was only in my house for 20 minutes or so. And he's done it several times before !!!!
And no, rousette, of course you wouldn't ask someone - I would have just thought that as he knows I don't have a problem with anyone going upstairs ( as he has done numerous times previously) that he would have done just that, rather than choose to go in the one in the kitchen!!!!

spidey sorry, cross posted with your second post.

You can use my toilet any time you like!

daisy posts like yours make me feel like crying. Work out your routine? If only that were possible.

I have to say we have a downstairs toilet in the hall. It is quite near the front door. I would never dictate where family or guests poo, but I do prefer it if people poo upstairs. There is nothing worse than answering the door, or having someone arrive and they have to walk through/sniff the pong of poo or the sounds of someone having a poo!

treacle he doesn't have any of the issues that you do I assure you.
I've known him for years. He is perfectly healthy in that department.

This was purely about his choice of loo....

Think yabvu.... Why did u have downstairsctoiket installed if you didnt want people to use it.

League of Gentlemen had rules as well

www.pinterest.com/pin/271482683757624079/

daisy posts like yours make me feel like crying. Work out your routine? If only that were possible

I don't have any digestive or bowel problems, but I also can't imagine actually being able to say 'Right, I will poo at 5pm today.'

People really can do that?

Well, the thing is that only one of my closest friends knows about my problems, and even then I only told her because I needed her help when I was in hospital getting them investgated. It's not something I enjoy telling people about, so I don't.

Have no idea if your friend's husband has problems or not, maybe he doesn't, but I think it's worth bearing in mind that just because you don't know that someone has problems doesn't necessarily mean that they definitely don't have problems. If you know what I mean.

OP I think you are getting a bit worked up over something that isn't a big deal, but yes in his case, I would probably have used the upstairs loo (although I have been in houses where guests aren't allowed upstairs )

A loo is a loo. A considerate guest should leave it as they find it (and a considerate host should ensure guests have the means to do so without having to announce 'I've left a shit stain, give me a cloth').

Daisychain01 You OTOH clearly haven't a clue. Oh to be one of those adults who has their morning constitutional regular as clockwork with the morning papers For many people that isn't the case, running the full spectrum from relatively mild cases of IBS through severe bowel disease and that's not even mentioning those people who have bowel problems as a side effect of something else entirely...

I sometimes think the British in general are much, much too prudish about bodily functions (I am British BTW). I can pretty much guarantee that the Duchess of Cambridge takes a crap when she needs one like the rest of us.

My downstairs toilet is for everyone to do their poos in. The middle floor toilet is just for the children. If visitors find themselves on the middle floor and needing the toilet, then they have to go downstairs. The ensuite toilet on the top floor is just for me and DH, and woe betide anyone who even suggests using it. YANBU.

buggers & treacle Really, I assure you - he doesn't have any sort of bowel disease!!

Scorned I think you are having a hard time here. TMI but my dh and I have the same diet however his poo smells absolutely horrendous. If he need to use the toilet, he wouldn't use the downstairs loo because he would stink the ground floor out. Upstairs in a ventilated room would be evil, but the most sensible choice.

I have IBS and would rather use the upstairs lav if my stomach was upset.

Poo is a thorny issue!

Would it not just be best to direct people upstairs in any case?

Sounds like he was winding you up actually. Play back and hand him air freshener next time

Well, if any of my 'friends' had a sign on the door saying 'please don't poo in here', it would be the last time I visited. It is very controlling behaviour- you're blaming guests and getting annoyed at them- bloody cheek- YOU had the sodding toilet installed there!

OP I only have a downstairs loo and it is right next to the kitchen. Should I ask my guests to shit in the garden or into a carrier bag that I will provide if required?

scorned sorry, I didn't mean to sound like I was diagnosing him with something, I didn't intend it to sound that way. Was just talking about my own feelings really, I thought it was worth mentioning as clearly its not something that people think of, they just think 'ewww, yuk, he/she used my loo!'

I have a campervan with a porta loo in the tiny bathroom, when i bought the van it had a sign stuck to the inside of the toilet lid saying "only pee no poo"... You need this text in a posh shabby shit overpriced swirly font sign.

In fairness as well, my DH doesn't have an diagnosed bowel condition but I would be fairly certain has IBS.

Anyway, bless you OP!