To not want people to poo in my downstairs toilet?!

[Scornedwoman67]

I will start by saying I am a fairly relaxed person when it comes to the house. I like tidy, but am not obsessed about cleaning etc.
A few years ago, after my divorce, I bougt my current house & had a downstairs toilet installed. Because of space constraints, it is off the kitchen. I have a rule that basically it's only for No.1's. I sort of assumed that most people would realise that anyway, firstly because it is near the kitchen, and secondly because it isn't exactly soundproof
Anyway, a friend & her DH visited yesterday. I will add that he has history - he has on at least one previous occasion taken himslef upstairs & sat in that loo for a 'session' ( apologies if you're eating ) but yesterday he excelled himself. We were sitting in the lounge chatting & he disappeared out of the room. I went in to the kitchen a few minutes later & he shouted through the door to announce where he was. His DW rather nervously reminded him about my rule ( knowing what he is like, I suspect) to which he replied 'oh dear'.

Whilst I can see the funny side of it, I do think it is rude....or AIBU?!

I'm thinking of putting a bloody great big sign on the door now!!!!

I really did not realise that there were so many people with rules about which toilet to use.

If I bought a house with an existing toilet next to the kitchen then so be it but I wouldnt chose to build one next to a kitchen.

We have a downstairs toilet which like most new builds is in the hallway ... I am quite glad to have it especially as I nowhave a DS. But I would never tell any guest which toilet (there are 2 upstairs) to use .. I would find that rude.

In the hall toilet I have a rather nice diffuser from the White Cmpany and I find that it makes the toilet smell rather nice and dare I say it fragrant.

I always thought that building regs say you can't build a downstairs loo directly off a kitchen.

well I expect they won't be hurrying back op.

I had issues with my teenage boys weeing what I perceived as fast and so splashing on the floor.

I was passing the door and heard a very loud and long/fast wee. I banged on the door and shouted 'ffs wee slower'.

out came a strange teenage boy. a guest of my sons.

so not been so controlling since! chillax op.

I'd love to say YABU. I think you are. However my own mother has decreed her downstairs loo shall now only be used for number ones only. WTF? To be fair, I prefer the comfort of my own home so if I get caught short I try to be as physically removed from human company as possible. Therefore upstairs. But I would rather not declare intent and feel under pressure 'we know where you are going..' if I have to ascend...

I'm just VERY suprised you put in a new loo anywhere with no window or extractor fan tbh! Some people's urine smells unpleasant & don't get me started on the pong some people's farts produce.

Get an extractor fan put in and buy a nice big yankee candle in a scent you can tolerate. Job done. I presume you do leave a nice handwash and a loo brush + bleach in there at all times. If a guest can remove their own skid marks discreetly from the loo bowl before exit its so much nicer for guest and host both, and cuts down the lingering pong a bit.

(Most air fresheners just seem to make the pong worse and make you sneeze into the bargain imho).

We are about to move into a house with a loo off the kitchen by the back door. I blummin' checked the toilet window opens on our first viewing! Toilets are for the excretion of bodily waste and actually I'd rather kids didn't trail mud all through the house going upstairs after playing in the garden.

I always thought that building regs say you can't build a downstairs loo directly off a kitchen.
That, and it must have ventilation - either an open window or an extractor fan

Try an out of order sign on the loo downstairs and if anyone asks, say it has weak plumbing
We have an old house and loo is off sitting room near kitchen...all a t public and no window in there either no outside wall for extractor fan so not ideal at all.

Everyone has bodily functions wee, poo and farts make the world go round - chill OP and sort out an extractor fan/nice smelly stuff

scorned Sorry didn't mean to imply that he did. That part was more in response to Daisy who seems to think control of one's bowels was a matter of reaching the age of majority (and perhaps not being a tradesman with a penchant for fancy bog roll)

YABU. But if you are going to get annoyed about this, at least put up a sign or tell guests to their faces* about your special shitting rules.

It does sound though that faecal aerosols is a worse problem for you than guests shitting in your toilet.

Looking at the other posts on this thread I'd say that although shit smells nasty, the smell of shit + air freshener is worse.

• I took care with my spelling here

I hate it when guests shit in my house. Like when my OH's friends come round, for some reason they all shit in the toilet as though they have all been saving up. It's like their toilets are the ones found in Asian countries where its just a hole in the ground and they can't wait to'enjoy' mine. One acquaintance who stayed the night shat in the toilet the next morning and then borrowed my mouthwash straight out of the bottle. That really shaped my opinion of him.

My opinion is, you don't shit in other people's homes unless A) You are staying at least overnight or B) You are literally touching cloth.

I realise the acquaintance DID stay overnight, however that was just one thing in a very long line of things that made me dislike him and thing of him as rude.

I think it's really weird that you would have a loo that opens directly onto your kitchen. That in itself is gross, surely?

You would love my dad then. He seems to poo in mine or my sister's toilet every time he comes to see us. To the point that if my husband later comes home and walks near our downstairs toilet (windows open etc), he says "so your dad came round then?". It is the running joke between me and my sister.

I agree with those who have said: it's a toilet.

I wish there was a time machine to take the poo-smell fearers back two or three hundred years.

Just for shits and giggles.

great thread! what do you think of this? my pil have their toilet + bathroom attached to the kitchen (practically in the kitchen tbh) and to help with smells from the toilet they decided to not build walls to the top

Scornedwoman you're welcome. My thread was lighthearted too but I got told I need therapy

Toizzy no! just no.

Im just in sympathy with scornedwoman because her friend's DH turned up and uses the facilities when, given he has been there before, he kinda knows the set-up, it's a bit 'bijoux' (in estate agent speak) - I just think he could have been a bit more thoughtful.

Buggers and anyone with issues, of course you wont find me standing there with a face like a kite - if you need to have a #2, I'd point you towards my nearest loo with a smile and a wave, and you can have a fist-full of my finest Andrex (aloe vera). I am talking about fit and healthy (normally males) people who go anywhere, no shame or discretion, they don't consider other people having to fight thru their smog ( and just to add insult to injury,, there's the running commentary along the lines of "phew, that's a weight off my mind")

Btw, I am quite regular (a morning person, it is a medical fact you can get into a routine, but I know it doesnt work for everyone.) I am a bit funny like that, I cant just 'go' anywhere, so I try to be predictable if poss eg never at work, or in the shopping centre)

Anyway, I can tell Im in the minority so I'll shut up now

My opinion is, you don't shit in other people's homes unless A) You are staying at least overnight or B) You are literally touching cloth

Mumsnet Classic

To clarify again

1. The loo is where it is because I have nowhere else for it to go
2. No it's not against building regs any more
3. I have two loos. Guests can use whichever one they want....I just wish he'd gone upstairs

Your house, your rules.

No one esesbuisnrss!

traceypenisbeaker has summed it up precisely.
OP you are not BU. I hate it when people shit in my toilet. I never ever poo anywhere other than my own (upstairs) toilet. I literally could not bring myself to poo in someone else's toilet - I would wait until I got home.

To add, it is always men who poo indiscriminately - I've never had a woman randomly shit in my toilet!