To not want people to poo in my downstairs toilet?!

[Scornedwoman67]

I will start by saying I am a fairly relaxed person when it comes to the house. I like tidy, but am not obsessed about cleaning etc.
A few years ago, after my divorce, I bougt my current house & had a downstairs toilet installed. Because of space constraints, it is off the kitchen. I have a rule that basically it's only for No.1's. I sort of assumed that most people would realise that anyway, firstly because it is near the kitchen, and secondly because it isn't exactly soundproof
Anyway, a friend & her DH visited yesterday. I will add that he has history - he has on at least one previous occasion taken himslef upstairs & sat in that loo for a 'session' ( apologies if you're eating ) but yesterday he excelled himself. We were sitting in the lounge chatting & he disappeared out of the room. I went in to the kitchen a few minutes later & he shouted through the door to announce where he was. His DW rather nervously reminded him about my rule ( knowing what he is like, I suspect) to which he replied 'oh dear'.

Whilst I can see the funny side of it, I do think it is rude....or AIBU?!

I'm thinking of putting a bloody great big sign on the door now!!!!

Sorry truffle, I misunderstood your post, didn't realise you were referring to yourself.

I've obviously been going wrong and in future will issue 'loo passes' to visitors (the Yellow Card or the Brown Card) and direct them accordingly, depending on the answer to my narrow-eyed question 'what will you be doing in there? IF IN DOUBT take the Brown Card

THIS IS MAD !!! IT is a toilet ! They are your GUESTS!!! GOOD GRIEF.

I have an ensuite, and if dh or I do a poo in there, the smell doesn't stink out the bedroom, unless the door's left open. We also have a downstairs loo that is off the hall, right by the kitchen door, and people poo in there, and I've never noticed any smell in the kitchen (and I do have a pretty sensitive sense of smell).

We have an extractor fan in the downstairs loo, and open the window in the ensuite.

I wouldn't dream of setting rules for my guests about where they can and cannot poo.

I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome, and if I need a poo, I need a poo, so sometimes I have to do a poo in someone else's loo.

OP - put air freshener in there, in a conspicuous spot, so anyone doing anything stinky in there knows what to do about it.

I had workmen installing a new bathroom and became desperate for a poo. There was no holding it. I have only one loo so I had to ask them to step outside.

It was quite bad.

I was too ashamed to say a word afterwards and they were far too professional and gentlemanly to mention it.

I bet they discussed me afterwards though.

One should never poo anywhere except at home unless absolutely necessary lol!!

I really believe that. I would never do so in work or in a public toilet . Gross. And to go to a friend ' s house and do it!! Yeuch !!!!

Surely people only ever poo when it's 'absolutely necessary'. What other sort of pooing is there?? Guerrila poo dropping? Recreational pooing? Stealth pooing?

There are some very strange people on MN.

It's a toilet. It's for shit to go in. That's it's function. How is this a thing?

Yes, exactly, squoosh! I was just coming on to ask if anyone actually goes for a shit for fun.

As for it being 'gross' to go at work/in public/at a friend's, the mind boggles.

squoosh

OP I bet you're glad you started this thread

I have been told by wise MN-ers to stay away from poo threads, but I can't help myself - I have to step in, in a proffesional capacity and say IT IS NOT HEALTHY TO HOLD POO FOR A LONG TIME. One should good as soon as practical.

Apart from that - your house, your rules of course. If you want to get a jokey sign up, I'm sure there are some MN-ers who can help

As for the friend - yes, odd that he didn't bother to go upstairs, but I wouldn't get cross. Maybe just make a joke out of it next time he comes rounds and needs to use the loo

Lol, surely there are times when you could go but you could probably hang on till you get home??!

The feeling can come and go.

So 'absolutely necessary ' means you just have to go,no waiting!

I was once in a cab when a documentary came on the radio about that very thing brain. There were a number of poo professionals discussing the dangers of poo retention and talking about impaction, pain, manual extraction, and worst of all - anal leakage of diarrhoea trickling round the blockage.

They also talked about the difficulties of reminding 'forgetful' bowels of their natural function after years of ignoring the urge. They were very doubtful that the problem can be entirely successfully overcome.

Interesting stuff but a bit embarrassing on the way to Gatwick with a stranger. I think the driver was uncomfortable too but possibly felt it would be too obvious to turn it to TalkSport.

Foodie for about the hundredth time on this thread (I just can't seem to help myself getting drawn in ) I feel I must point out that there are a hell of a lot of people out there suffering from bowel problems. To label them as gross, which is what you have just done, because they need to use the loo when they aren't at home is pretty depressing.

And yes, yes, I know 'oh, it doesn't apply to people with problems, they're different' but here is the thing you don't know who has problems and who doesn't.

So far not one poo fearing person on the thread has been able to actually explain how they decide who is worthy of using their loo without being labelled as disgusting. Does the person have to have a letter from their GP before their need for the toilet goes from 'disgusting' to 'excusable'?

treaclesoda It's not gross for people with normal bowel function to shit in other people's toilets either, so long as they are clean and tidy.

I know you're not saying it is btw.

There are a lot of poo-phobes about and every time I read one of these threads I realise how much I must have offended them over the years with my free-pooing

Am absolutely that this thread is still lively. Says everything about the British obsession with its bowels.

treacle you've totally convinced me! I hadn't considered it previously. :-)

I have lived all my life blissfully unaware of the angst some people have about loo usage. I remember seeing a photograph of a loo in a backpacker hotel which had a very stern No Shitting in this Toilet. To ensure compliance the owner had welded a fine meshed screen across the bowl. Perhaps the OP could adopt this strategy.

That would be asking for trouble granny24

I'm going to spend this afternoon writing apologetic epistles to people whose toilets I have pooed in over the years.

I will open with 'My brazen bowels beg your pardon for the poo which they deposited in your loo.............'

I hate this 'your house,your rules' thing. HAS NO ONE GOT ANY MANNERS ANY MORE??! You can't try to stop people pooing in your loo, unless you are very rude and small minded

good point limited!

Truffle I feel like some sort of IBS ambassador! I suppose I just find it such an excruciatingly embarrassing condition to have to deal with, that the thought that my nearest and dearest might consider me disgusting touches a bit of a raw nerve.

wonders now what "free-pooing" might have in common with "free-climbing"

treaclesoda IBSAmbassador

Name change?

Yes nauticant. I was thinking about people bouncing from roof to roof, depositing turds where they go.