To not want people to poo in my downstairs toilet?!

[Scornedwoman67]

I will start by saying I am a fairly relaxed person when it comes to the house. I like tidy, but am not obsessed about cleaning etc.
A few years ago, after my divorce, I bougt my current house & had a downstairs toilet installed. Because of space constraints, it is off the kitchen. I have a rule that basically it's only for No.1's. I sort of assumed that most people would realise that anyway, firstly because it is near the kitchen, and secondly because it isn't exactly soundproof
Anyway, a friend & her DH visited yesterday. I will add that he has history - he has on at least one previous occasion taken himslef upstairs & sat in that loo for a 'session' ( apologies if you're eating ) but yesterday he excelled himself. We were sitting in the lounge chatting & he disappeared out of the room. I went in to the kitchen a few minutes later & he shouted through the door to announce where he was. His DW rather nervously reminded him about my rule ( knowing what he is like, I suspect) to which he replied 'oh dear'.

Whilst I can see the funny side of it, I do think it is rude....or AIBU?!

I'm thinking of putting a bloody great big sign on the door now!!!!

Edit - I don't know what a 'tremendous' poo is either.

Roussette you need to give your lackadaisical bowels a good talking to, you don't want them to get a reputation.

I don't poo on holiday even for two weeks it is not a choice it just happens, or doesn't happen. I do have a condition that causes bowel dysmotility and my autonomic system is dodgy so I guess my bowel just closes down with moving around and travelling and I only get to rest/ relax at home so it is only then my bowels work?

I don't poo on holiday even for two weeks

It it totally normal for me to go the first 7 days without pooing in a foreign country. I have no idea why. Wish I did.

squoosh they're on their way to getting an ASBO I can tell you

I am agog at this thread. Really I am. And I'm now off to put a damp flannel on my forehead while I ponder bodily functions and try and work out if mine are normal or if I should be limiting visiting poos in my toilet.

you don't poo for two weeks? Holy shit or not

anyone who has issues with where they got to the loo - go camping. That'll sort you out

The only time I had no problems pooing on holiday was when we went on a cruise, I had a good clean out of my digestive system there and blocked the toilet I never did as many poo's in my life, my tummy was flat and everything after that.

I can't imagine being constipated for a fortnight. Does it make you feel really sluggish and heavy?

I don't know what normal feels like, I was always told I had IBS. Now I am being looked at for dysautonomia and I am being told it can stop the blood getting to the bowel and it closes down. We can also get bowel dysmotility, I have had it my whole life so I have no idea what it feels like to have a normal bowel.

Scorned yes of course I read it. You've said it about a hundred times already.

You, however, clearly didn't read what I said - which made NO mention of where the man went to the toilet, just that I would be confused as, generally, the downstairs toilet is for visitors and yet I wouldn't want to poo right next to your kitchen though I still think you're daft for fussing about people pooing in a toilet when you had it installed there, regardless of whether or not there was another option

I hope you get it sorted Ethel, I've honestly never given much thought to bowel problems before. I can see how it would really impact on your life.

at Squoosh Some excellent word play on here.

I try not to use other people's toilets, but if I need to I would hope that the host would be happy to oblige- I'd be mortified to think they thought me a disgusting cow for having the temerity to USE a toilet. And I think you are even more unreasonable for not acknowledging that YABU.

Cakeismymaster Tue 25-Mar-14 12:06:11
Omg a worse thought...what if he was having a wank instead???

Judging by the comments on this thread, cake that would be a perfectly acceptable thing to do round at your friend's house. What's the problem, doesnt everyone do that?

Of course it's acceptable to defecate it in a toilet, that's what it's designed for. And if someone really felt the need to give themselves hand relief whilst in the bathroom I really couldn't care less, better than doing it whilst sitting in front of me.

I remember having barrium meal, and it was like passing concrete for about a week after. But it must be awful to be bunged up for a fortnight.

I know it sounds crazy and impossible, having a "routine" but it can be done. And I am not talking about exceptional medical cases, IBS, diverticulitis etc, that is different.

Think about how 'er Maj our Queen has had to deal with things. She cant rock up at Stately Events and suddenly go "psttt Phil, I'm dying for a #2, where's the nearest dunny". Of course not, she has had to make sure she does all her ablutions while she has the chance. Taken her years of practice. And she cant just hold it in, poor girl may have to be like that for hours! So if she can do it, so can all the blokes, tradesmen, friends DHs etc, but they cant be arsed so its get out the nose pegs for everyone else.

OP your toilet does require ventilation:

The latest Building Regulations, Approved Document F: April 2010 (effective 1/10/10), provides detailed guidance about four approved methods of ventilation. For background ventilators and intermittant extract fans the following basic parameters should be met.

Intermittent extract rates
Toilet/Sanitary accommodation - 6 l/sec (22 m3/hr)
Bathroom/Shower Room - 15 l/sec (54 m3/hr)
Kitchen (adjacent to hob) - 30 l/sec (108 m3/hr)
Kitchen (elsewhere) - 60 l/sec (216 m3/hr)
Utility Room - 30 l/sec (108 m3/hr)

Continuous extract rates (minimum high)
Kitchen (adjacent to hob)_ - 13 l/sec (47 m3/hr)
Kitchen (elsewhere) - 13 l/sec (47 m3/hr)
Utility Room - 8 l/sec (29 m3/hr)
Bathroom - 8 l/sec (29 m3/hr)
Toilet accommodation - 6 l/sec (22 m3/hr)

I think there is a French saying along the lines of

" there is nothing as over-rated as sex, and under-rated as a good pooh"

Ooh! I can add to the holiday poo debate.

I went on holiday with my friend whose mum hammered on the toilet door to interrogate you. I also worked with her.

She was very open about what she called her bottom problems. And very funny about her various hospital excavations too. But though she was candid about it, she couldn't do it.

She once got the urge at work after about a week and jumped in her car to drive home. She didn't make it. She'd taken the precaution of sitting on a plastic bag but her trousers were ruined. She told us. No embarrassment about that but she physically couldn't poo anywhere else but her own downstairs loo and I really think that was her mum's fault. Not just me. She said it too, but didn't blame her mum.

On holiday she tried and tried every day. After eight days she ran out excitedly to the pool to tell us and everyone else: 'I've done it!' I was very pleased for her. Less pleased when I realised she'd been cogitating over my copies of Elle and Marie Claire.

impact your life. Good grief do Men have a wank in toilets away from home?

A toilet is a toilet. And there should be two doors between a toilet and a kitchen, if there aren’t then your installation is probably illegal.

Perhaps you should replace the downstairs toilet by a bidet.

(This thread isa wind-up isn’t it????)

limited she proved that she could also poo in the car. If she had sat on the toilet and waited, she might have had her accident in the toilet instead of the car.

Even the poor poster who allows them to use her toilet has to be exposed to their genitals as they pull their trousers down before they even get into the toilet in her house

OMG ethel I had to just thinking about that, not a pretty sight...

I'm just noticed my cat has gone into his covered litter tray for a poo. He always gets strangely excited by the release and rushes round the room. Oh, there he goes.

I think only teenage boys experiencing tsunamis of hormones require pitstop wank breaks.